Soooooo here I am on a wet Sunday morning, annoyed at Mother Nature because it is raining and therefore I cannot run my favourite route because I will likely fall to my death by slipping on mud. So, whilst I wait for the rain to stop, I decided to write another blog.
I turn 26 on Saturday and, we all know I like a chance to reflect, I thought I would write about 25 things I learnt in my quarter-century year.
- I actually like myself.
This past year I have realised that I like myself as a person. I have spent a lot of my life not really liking who I was. I was too fat, ugly, I was fickle, and I was too loud, too quiet, and too shy. Well, you know what, maybe I am all those things but I am also a pretty decent person. I am not a spiteful, cruel person. I am not a negative person. I am loyal, I am supportive, I am a frickin’ hoot, I am always there to be a shoulder to cry on. I actually like who I am. Though many don’t or wont, I do. And that’s all that really matters.
- Distancing yourself from people who use you as an emotional punch bag is ok.
It’s ok to be an emotional punch bag from time to time, we all take things out on people we are close to when we are upset, angry and stressed. That’s life, I’ve done it before and I’m sure you have. However, there comes a time when you have to say enough is enough. When the same person does it, time and again, saying hurtful things, then apologising and saying it won’t happen again, until it does… it’s time to step back. I’ve done this over the past year, I’ve pulled back to protect myself, to protect my heart. I am only human, and I can only take so much and that is ok.
- Appreciate what you have, until life makes you appreciate what you had
When I celebrated my 25th birthday, I never imagined that my beloved Grandad would be gone before my next one. Life really is fleeting. I know that sounds morbid, but the older I get, the more I realise my mortality. You have no clue when the people in your life will be taken from you or when your time will be up, so make sure they know how much they mean to you. Collect memories with them. Take too many photos, you’ll only regret the ones you didn’t take.
- Real friends are always there, no matter the distance.
There is an ongoing joke that all my best friends move away from me. My best friends are dotted around the country, and world. From Eastbourne to Derry, LA (soon to be Helsinki) to Weymouth, Guildford to Kings Lynn… I have one best friend in Crawley. Their lives have taken them all over, but one thing has never changed. They are still there if I need them, and visa-versa. Distance really does not matter when the friendship is real. We have seen each other through some of the biggest, best and worst of times whilst being miles apart. Weddings, engagements, heartbreak, death, promotions, travels, births… you name it. The distance doesn’t matter. The friendship does.
- You don’t need social media to stay in touch with those that really matter.
I learnt this during lent when I gave up Facebook for 6 weeks and I have already blogged about it. Facebook makes it easy to stay in touch, sure. It isn’t essential though.
- You need to take care of yourself, because you really aren’t getting any younger
This year I finally found the exercise that I enjoy – running! I’d always wanted to do something about my fitness, or lack thereof, and after enjoying last years race for life so much I decided to carry on running and I love it! It helps me de stress and get fit all at once. I prefer running on my own, I have to admit, because it gives me time to think. I also prefer running outside to the treadmill but over the winter months I have come to love the treadmill too. It started off as a hobby that I thought I’d lose interest in but almost a year in, I still love it.
- If I died tomorrow, I’d be happy
Exactly what it says. I may not have accomplished a lot, I may not have ticked everything off my bucket list, but if I were to die tomorrow I’d be happy with what I have done and what I have learnt.
8. It really is what is on the inside that counts
As previously said, I have spent a lot of time hating what I see in the mirror and I’m still not 100% happy with it but, over the last year, I have realized that it really is what’s on the inside that counts. Spending more time at the gym I’ve seen a lot of good-looking muscle heads – only for them to open their mouths and be a complete douchebag (of course, this it isn’t just muscle heads that are douchebags, but that’s another story for another day). I’d rather be a bit ugly and a bit wobbly with a kind heart than super toned, model like with an ugly heart (and before someone gets all hormonal – I’m not saying that model’s have ugly hearts. Well, not all of them)
- There is no replacing family.
My family is awesome. We’ve seen each other through the best of times and the worst of times this past year, and there is no replacing them. They are complete nut jobs, but they are my nut jobs. I’m lucky to have them.
- Lots of people are there to celebrate the good times, but when something tragic happens – that is when you really learn whom you can count on.
No explanation needed for this one.
- Money and Power are really not my motivation
This time last year I was seconded to the store manager role, and I bloody hated it. I enjoyed it at first but the longer the secondment went on the more I hated it. I was in charge and able to do things my way, I had a great team and I was earning more money than I had before but I wasn’t happy. When the secondment came to an end in January I was asked to apply for the role permanently but I said no. The money and the power that came with being the boss were not worth it. I am back in my ASM role now and much happier.
- I will always want more
I’ve always expected lots from myself and just as much from those around me; I have always had high expectations, I have always wanted more. I still do. And that’s ok; there is nothing wrong with that because it pushes me to be better and not to settle for mediocre.
- There will always be friends in your life that you like, but don’t trust
Another year, another lesson learnt. There are people I would consider friends in my life but I can honestly say I don’t trust them. Can they be my friends if I don’t trust them? I think so. I like to hang out with them, and share stories, and laugh etc. but I wouldn’t trust them with my secrets. Blabbermouths.com. Luckily I have best friends that I can trust. Win win for me : )
- Peanut Butter is the answer
- A good skin care routine doesn’t have to be complicated. And you will see the difference in your skin.
About 6 months ago, I pledged to myself to go cruelty free with all my make up and cosmetics after I discovered the Beagle Freedom Project (it’s an awesome charity – you should definitely check them out). On the back of that I went to The Body Shop to grab some new products – after a little skin analysis I came away with 4 products – just 4 – that I use on a daily basis and my skin is thanking me! And I am thanking those people who have said I look 19/20 now 🙂
- I’d rather have a few best friends, than loads of good friends
You don’t need a lot of people around you. You just need the right ones.
- It’s ok to be a snob sometimes
I don’t like shopping in Poundland. I prefer to shop in places that don’t make me feel like I’m going to get a disease just by stepping through the door. I work hard and I like nice things. This doesn’t make me a bad person.
- Who cares what everyone else is doing and if you are living a normal life. Who says you have to be working a 9 to 5 job, be married by 28, kids by 30? Just do what you want to do and what makes you happy. There is no such thing as normal.
- No one has a fucking clue what they are doing. Everyone else is winging it too.
It’s ok not to know what you’re doing. So long as you’re having fun and I am so you know, it’s s’all good.
- It’s ok to be jealous.
Jealousy is a natural emotion. We all experience it. So long as I don’t let it consume me and deal with it in a positive way.
- People will always question your actions and motives
These are not people you need to worry about. They are not worth your time. The only people you need to answer to are the police, and maybe your mother.
- Timing is everything
People, places, opportunities can all come up when you least expect it. If the timing isn’t right though, nothing will make it work. It isn’t your fault, it isn’t their fault. It just is. So don’t hold it against them, ok?
- I am over the drama of being young
Remember when there was so much drama going on your life, backstabbing, bitchiness, gossip, and fights? It was so fun, right? WRONG. There are certain things that I am happy to be too old for. ‘Drama’ is one of them. I don’t need it, or the people who covet or bring it in my life anymore. I’m too old for that shit.
- I am still not sure if I ever want to be a mother. And that’s ok.
I have always said I don’t want to be a mum. It’s not something I ever saw in my life, or future. As I’ve got older I have changed my mind on this a lot. Some days I do, some days I don’t. It’s not something I have to worry about right now, and if it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, so be it. As Doris Day said, Que sera, sera.
- Sometimes all you need is Tequila and Beyoncé to make you feel better.
So there we have it folks, 25 things I learnt being 25. If you’ve made it this far… I take my hat off to ya. Thanks for reading. Here’s to 26!