Anti – Resolution

December 8th. 17 days until Christmas. You know what comes after Christmas? I No, I’m not talking about the self-loathing that comes with over indulging in all things bad for you; food, alcohol, too much time with the family. I’m talking about New Years. Aaaah yes, that old chestnut; with New Years come New Years Resolutions.


Those that know me well know that, I’m not such a fan of NY resolutions. January is a bad enough month as it is; it normally rains constantly, everyone is broke from spending too much over December, it’s cold, you have to take your decorations down and stop listening to festive songs… the list is pretty long. In fact, I might even go on record to say that January is the worst month of the year. So what do we do? Pile more misery on ourselves by setting ludicrous resolutions that will, no doubt, be broken by Tuesday at 10am.


I am a goal setter. When I sit and think back on the year, as I do each year, I think about the goals I set for myself the previous year. What did I achieve? What didn’t I? Does that still matter to me now, or has my focus changed? Sometimes, no matter how hard you try and how much you want it, life really does get in the way of itself. New year, I feel, should be more about reflecting, refocusing and remembering, rather than resolutions.


I’m also a dreamer and after I really look hard at the things I need to keep after, the things I need to change, the things I need to fix, and the closets I need to clean out, I spend some time dreaming about the things I want to make a reality. I think about those dreams. And most definitely, I dream those dreams.


So out comes the pen and paper, or Macbook, and I write (it’s always more real when it’s written down), I write about the past year, I look to the year ahead.

What I want to accomplish, what I need to accomplish, and what I want to do, just because I want to.


As work has been so completely crazy lately (welcome to retail at Christmas), I haven’t had a chance to set my goals for 2016 or reflect back on 2015 so I cant share any of those with you. I can, however, share with you the things I know I won’t achieve.


Here is my anti-resolution list, a list of things I know I will never change and goals I know I definitely won’t achieve this year. And, you know what? I’m ok with that.


  1. Stop loving Disney


It’s just never going to happen. If it ever did I give Sophie permission to shoot me. Disney is escapism. It helps you believe that you can have a happy ending. You put on a Disney movie to feel good, to see hope and compassion, to sing along with a fake snowman about his love of summer. It also taught me that it is ok to randomly burst into song and dance in the middle of the street and people will join in rather than judge you for it. I’m yet to experience the latter part of that though.

Screen Shot 2015-12-08 at 22.02.28

I will never outgrow Disney.

  1. Stop swearing.


I’ve tried. I failed within about 2 minutes of waking up when I banged my elbow on the door frame. I know ladies aren’t meant to swear but, fuck it.

Screen Shot 2015-12-08 at 22.01.17


  1. Learn to control my facial expressions


I try, I really do. I just can’t hide my disgust/excitement/boredness (is that a word?). I could try and lie and be pretty convincing I’m sure, but my face would give me away.

You: Hey do you like my top?

Me: Sure (whilst pulling this face)

Screen Shot 2015-12-08 at 21.15.18


I’m not sorry.


  1. Learn to drive a car


I’m really not interested; people need to stop giving me their opinions on why I should learn. If I wanted to learn I would, but I don’t. So don’t piss me off. Let me worry about it, alright. Cheers.


Screen Shot 2015-12-08 at 22.08.40

Me if I ever got in the driver’s seat of a car.


  1. Have a manicure schedule


I always envy those women who always have perfectly manicured nails. I want o join your club, I really do. I enjoy getting my nails done, but I begrudge paying £30 for a manicure when I know within an hour at work they will be chipped. These are working hands. I am cleaning, building products, fitting car seats, taking in deliveries, merchandising, using the till, demoing products… I do not (contrary to popular belief) spend my days sat behind the desk in the manager’s office. No, no. This is a manager who spends her time getting involved, and that means no nicely manicured fingernails.

Screen Shot 2015-12-08 at 22.11.23.png


  1. Give up my membership of the Grammar Police.


Call me Ross Gellar but it really bugs me when people do not use the correct grammar and spellings. We all went to school, you had 16 years to learn when it is appropriate to use the following;


To, too, two

Bored, board

They’re, their, there

Your, You’re

Than, then

They are the ones I see misused on social media the most. Please do your best to use them correctly. It stresses me out when you don’t.



Screen Shot 2015-12-08 at 21.36.46




All the best,






Thanks to Glamour Magazine for the inspiration.

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