The people that truly love you will lift you up
I can’t tell you this enough. Too often I see myself and those around me accepting ‘love’ with conditions; love whereby someone always has the upper hand, love where there is always someone who is left feeling small as a result of conversations or situations that they have. Those who truly love us know we are not perfect, they accept that we aren’t yet treat us as though we are. They don’t judge you. They aren’t only interested in you when you’re vulnerable. They aren’t only interested when they have a spare 5 minutes in their day and want some attention. They don’t put down your choice of outfit, vocabulary, job or interests. They know that they are all things that make you, you. They celebrate you, they support you, they laugh at your silliness, they find your passion for all things ‘cute’. They help you see the best in yourself and see you in a way you could never see yourself. They lift you up.
You really do deserve to be someone’s priority and not an option
In some things, like job interviews, you are an option. That is ok. In your personal life though? Not cool. What is even worse is that we allow people to treat us like that. Now, I’m not saying I’m the most important person in the world, and neither are you (sorry to burst that bubble) but when it comes to personal relationships, both romantic and platonic, you deserve to be treated as a priority. Not as the fall back. If you allow people to treat you as an option once, you will always be an option to them. That fall back they can rely on when their ego is bruised and they need someone to make themselves feel better; love is the ego’s best friend and worst enemy. You will feel great that you have made them feel better about themselves, and maybe even think that you are an alright person because of it; until they run off again back to their priority (who is most likely the reason they felt shit to start with) and you are left feeling insignificant again. Don’t let people treat you like this. It will be hard to stop, but it is necessary. Remember, “we accept the love we think we deserve” . We all deserve to be the priority.
You can do it
2016, for me, is going to be challenging. I already know that. The goals and targets I have set for myself are going to take a lot of dedication, a lot of sacrifice and, no doubt, a lot of tears. However, I know I can do it. I am in the best mental and physical state I have been since my pre-uni days, I can safely say I have the best group of cheerleaders around that I have ever had that are happy to pick me up if I stumble and fall, or just to simply sit me down and tell me to find my balls and remind me why I’m doing what I’m doing. Remember: YOU CAN DO IT. Everyone knows you can, you’re your own worst enemy. Stop with that. Douche.
Only you can make your dreams come true
Similar to the above note; it’s all down to you. There is no white knight in shining armour who’s gonna come and save the day. There is no Genie in a lamp who is going to give you three magic wishes, no Fairy Godmother who is going to Bibbity Bobbity Boo all your dreams into reality. You will have to make it work. Pool your resources “Teamwork makes the dream work”. There will be days when it doesn’t seem worth it, when you want to give up, when you wish the aforementioned Genie, Fairy Godmother and K.I.S.A were real. But (and as a Disney obsessive it pains me to write this) THEY ARE NOT REAL. Only you can make your dreams come true. What better time to start than now?
Everything really does happen for a reason
Fate. Destiny. Whatever you want to call it or dress it up as. Everything does happen for a reason, I truly believe that. Everything decision that you have gone through, everywhere you have been, the people you have met… it has all been for a reason. It has lead you to where you need to be right now, to take you to where you’re meant to go. It’s given you experiences and lessons that do you right in the future. No doubt some will think it is wishy-washy nonsense, but I believe it is true. It will all make sense one day.
It’s ok to not know the reasons right now; it will all make sense in the end
Life is confusing. I know it. You know it. Joe Bloggs at number 6 knows it. Things will happen that will shake your faith, make you question the point of things and make you want to crawl into bed, assume the foetal position, cry and not come back into the real world for a week or 52. As previously stated, everything does happen for a reason. Accept that sometimes we don’t find the answers straight away. The sooner you accept it the easier it will be for you to cope with change and the inevitable bumps in the road that life likes to dot our journeys with along the way. The answers will come in time.
No one else will put your health and happiness first, so you need to
You gotsa look after number 1! The sooner you start taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically, the better you will feel. No one else will put it first, so you have to. If something (or someone) is bad for your health, get rid or cut back. If you’re not happy, identify what is causing the unhappiness and make moves to fix it. It won’t be an overnight win, but you’ll thank yourself for it this time next year.
“Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life”
Work is not the be all and end all. Some people were meant to change the world with their jobs and roles. Some people aren’t, because someone else doesn’t see it as life changing or important, doesn’t mean it isn’t. If you have a passion for something, follow it. Live it. Everyone takes work home with them sometimes, but just remember that you need time to relax and recharge. Work is not the be all and end all. It will still be there in the morning.
Go one place you’ve never been before
There is so much of this planet you haven’t seen yet. So go see it. It doesn’t have to be abroad. It can be another part of this tiny island. Just go. See the world from a different perspective. Experience new things. Embrace a new culture and traditions. Live life; make memories.
Give back in anyway you feel you can
You might not have the time to visit the soup kitchen. You might not have the funds to donate regularly to charity. We can all give back in our own way, buy that homeless guy a hot drink one time, give the old lady jingling her charity bucket the coppers in the bottom of your bag. Spend time with someone who needs it most, giving back doesn’t always have to be to charity. It can be to those that mean the most to you in the world. Your best friend just had a baby? Offer to go around and look after little one for an hour so she can get a power nap in. Your mum’s feeling unwell? Make her dinner, offer to do the shopping for her. It is the little things after all 🙂
“If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try”
That’s all I’m sayin’
To yourself and to others; everyone has their shit they’re going through, they don’t need you being an asshole to add to their shit. Remember, a smile goes a long way.
Be the best version of yourself
Truly happy people become that way by being the best versions of themselves, not on the outside but on the inside. They work on their true self, not the persona they portray to the world. Stop with the negative self talk – you are not stupid, ugly, fat etc etc, there is someone out there who wishes they were more like you. Stop judging and criticising other people – the comments you make are more a reflection of your own issues and insecurities. Stop procrastinating, stop doing things to please other people, stop being scared or failure and, even more so, stop being scared of success! Maybe you can have it all.
Many wise people before have noted the importance of listening more than talking. You learn more, about yourself and others. You DO more. The less time you talk the more time you have to actually ‘do’ things. For most people, work is the best example of this. I know lots of people who have had to stay late to get work done because they spent that 15 minutes by the coffee machine talking instead of sending that email, or proof reading that document. Listen more.
Embrace your crazy
Everyone is a little crazy. The lucky ones are a lot crazy. Embrace it. It makes you, you. There is no one like you out there, if you suppress that crazy, you suppress yourself and that leads to whoooole other load of things. Embrace the crazy. Life is more fun that way.
There will never be another 2016. Let’s make it the best year yet. HAVE FUN.
2016, come at me, bitch.
Wishing you all a very merry New Year.