Important life update: I LEFT MY JOB OF 10 YEARS AND STARTED A NEW ONE AND IT WAS SCARY AND UPSETTING AND EXCITING ALL AT ONCE.
I FUCKING DID IT!
You didn’t think I would, did you? It’s fine, I didn’t think I would either.
My decision to leave my job is one that I have discussed with many of my family, friends and colleagues. I wasn’t convinced I would make the jump myself, even after I had handed my notice in, announced it to everyone and survived the incessant ‘but why’s?’ I still wasn’t sure I was brave enough.
Of course everyone has their own opinions about whether I made the right decision or not; my mum has been very vocal about not understanding the logic behind the decision, as was my old regional manager. My work BFF Michelle was, and is, very vocal about me leaving and has tried to get me to come back already – it’s only been a week and a half! I know my Madre is worried I will make a mistake and come to regret my decision (she also doesn’t want me to go travelling ha). Michelle wanting me to stay is purely selfish because I am her favourite (and also most modest) colleague. We have, and will, stay in touch though. I do believe in the 10 days since I’ve left we have spoken on the phone at least 5 times. She is the only person I’ve met that likes to talk as much as I do! : )
My friends have been much more understanding – they understand my commitment to the company would hold me back from my future travel plans.
“If you stay then you won’t go travelling” – Sophia, Leanna, Ken, Denise, Mark etc.
“Just stay working for us but book a ticket and then you’ll have to leave” – Mr. Keefe’s (my old RM) logic to my leaving.
If only my mind worked that way Mr. Keefe! I know I would never leave; the merry-go-round that is my old work place is a hard one to jump off of, especially after 10 years. Losing money on a plane ticket wouldn’t faze me; money has never been my motivation. Despite the pressure, stress and the long days, the satisfaction of meeting that (often tight) deadline, seeing new product, developing new team members, training the staff – training was one of my favourite parts of the job -, helping the customers and my belief in the brand and it’s values would have kept me there. My heart was in it, for the good and the bad!
My head, however, told me otherwise. A typical Gemini in every sense of the word; the battle between head and heart was eventually won by my head. Logic won. If I was to go travelling, I wanted more time to spend with the people I tolerate the most before I go, I want time to enjoy seeing my nephews grow up (MJ now says Kayla and it is the most adorable sound since Oscar calling me KayKay for the first time). I want some time to myself, to enjoy having a job that is just that, a job. My old job took over my life somewhat (and I do understand that was my doing, no one else’s) but it was my passion and dedication – I have always been an all or nothing kind of gal. Logic told me it makes more sense to leave because that was the only way I’d get what I wanted out of my time before I flit off to the next place. When this opportunity came up to move jobs, I had to take it.
A job closer to home affords me time. Shift work affords me time – although those early mornings are a killer. I am NOT a morning person. Regular days off afford me time. I can already feel the difference in myself – I no longer take work home with me. It is a job, that’s it. When I am with friends I am not checking work emails whilst half paying attention to what they are saying. I’m there fully – I wasn’t before.
“The only thing more precious than our time is who we spend it on”
All this time I have gained has brought home to me how much time I really did spend worrying about work – I said to my friend that I have actually realised that I don’t really have much of a life because I never had time to make one before. – This post is also making me realise how work obsessed I was it’s kind of embarrassing aha. Now I have something that I didn’t have before TIME. Time to do stuff that I want – I am going to get my fitness levels back to what they were this time last year (if not better), I am attempting to relearn the Spanish I unlearnt over the years, I have a pile of 10 books that have been sat on my side waiting to be read for the last year. Time flies, but luckily we’re the pilots. We control how we waste our time.
So. My new job? What’s the verdict? My new job is just that, new. It’s different, not in a bad way. It’s just different. I hate that I don’t know everything yet – I don’t like not knowing stuff, I like to learn and am used to being a bit of a know-it-all; another Gemini trait. The team is nice, and I get on well with most of them (there are a couple I’m not sure of but we’ll see what happens there, watch this space). I enjoy mentally spending all my money on the items we have and I definitely enjoy the monthly clothing allowance. Most of all though, I love talking to the customers about travel! My favourite thing is to travel and hearing and sharing recommendations on what to do and where to go is great for me! I am off to Prague in November (Happy birthday, Leanna) and already have numerous places and things that have been recommended to me by locals flying home. I think I will enjoy it more the longer I’m there; so far there are no regrets.
My old workplace will always be home though.