Today I am writing from one of my favourite places, my bed. It has been a mad couple weeks at work and what I’d really love to do on my day off today is slide back under the covers and spend the day reading and/or watching Ryan Gosling movies whilst having unlimited cups of tea and taking naps. Alas, I have far too much to do.
First though, I’m going to share with you something that has been taking up a lot of time in my little head this week after conversations with some of my friends.
How do you know if someone cares about you?
I’ve written before about how we often break our own hearts and I’ve also written about toxic thinking. I think it is a combination of this that makes it hard for me and for others to see when people really care about you.
We look at the movies and see these big gestures; we listen to voices in our own head and believe the negative things they tell us, resulting in…well, nothing positive.
Now, don’t get me wrong, the big gestures are lovely from time to time but actually it’s the small ones that show us the most. At least that’s my opinion. The only problem is the small ones are harder to notice, because you have to be really paying attention. In a time when we are all so busy, there’s always so much to do and so much going on the small details are often the ones we miss.
Rachel Hosie wrote an article for The Independent online last year in which she wrote about the ‘small gestures’ meaning more; there was even evidence from a recent survey that backed this up and the top 50 ways to reveal you care about someone. Just for your future reference my favourite food is always going to be burgers and fries or anything Mexican and I take my tea quite strong with milk, no sugar.
I’ve been making a conscious effort to pay attention to the small gestures the last few days and here are some of the ways the people in my life have shown me they care
- Reminding me to eat
- Telling me I am enough when I shared that I thought I wasn’t
- Telling me to go home because I work too much
- Cooking for me (even if I only ate a few mouthfuls)
- Texting me to see how my day has been
- Reminding me to book my smear test and then calling me out for putting it off when I said I was ‘too busy’
- Sending me messages like this…
When you start paying attention to the small things, the noises in your head get that little bit quieter and the big gestures become less important. You can still send me flowers though if you want, I’ll always appreciate that gesture 😉