A change of perspective.

June 18, 2017thegirlwiththebackpack Leave a comment

Hi friends,

I’d been feeling pretty overwhelmed about work and I was feeling really very sorry for myself. I’d been covering two stores for about 12 weeks, was struggling to balance everything, focus myself and what we were all trying to achieve; like I said I was feeling very overwhelmed. I got to the point where I was moaning to my work bff about it and no amount of pep talk was helping. I was working long days (including the commute some days it was 14hr days), I was tired and had had some stuff going on outside of work too that I wanted to give more of my attention to and that, quite frankly, needed. The thing is I was happy to do it for my boss, whom I have a lot of time and respect for, but I was also kind of done with it.

Then I saw this post on Instagram:

It was just what I needed to slap some sense into me.

Why was I complaining about being busy? Why was I complaining about work at all? I know we all have days that beat us but c’mon Michaela! If I wasn’t busy at work, if I felt useless and not needed then I would be even more down about it.

I’d had a couple months not working when I got home from America at the end of Jan and I was going nuts at home, NUTS.

Seeing that post (thanks, Jessie J) gave me kick to change my perspective and be GRATEFUL. I’ve been trying to practice the art of gratitude this year more than I ever have; and seeing this reminded me of that. Why was I complaining about a temporary situation? A situation that actually I was probably lucky to be in? I was being trusted to oversee not one, but two stores, only a little while after returning after effectively jumping ship the year before. I’m doing a job I love, I have amazing work colleagues, I actually like/ respect my boss – how many people can say that? Sure it gets overwhelming at times, sure it’s not perfect but looking at the bigger picture instead of the minutia it’s not bad. Not bad at all.

Sometimes a change of perspective is all that is needed.

So next time I moan about being overwhelmed at work, send me the link to this blog!

Xoxo

Micks

Words to learn from.

June 17, 2017thegirlwiththebackpack Leave a comment

Hi friends,

I hope you’re well on this beautiful, beautiful Saturday. I have had lovely belated birthday out with two of my most favourite friends. I’ve come home with slight sunburn, face paint and lots of memories and possible plans for the future.

So, fun fact about me; I don’t really like people but I am a little obsessed with what they all think. I love listening or reading about people and I adore them sharing their lessons and views on anything and everything. I truly believe that we can learn so much if we just listen. We very often listen just to respond, we don’t listen to learn. We just need to pay attention.

Another fun fact about me: since I was around 15 I have kept journals filled with my thoughts / lessons learnt but also with the words of others that have, for one reason or another, struck a chord with me. Sometimes it has been what I needed to hear at the time, others it has been that I just knew I’d need to hear it at some point in the future. I’ll jot them down in a notepad, other times I’ll take a photo of them with my phone or in the ‘notes’ app and I go over them from time to time.

Today, I did just that and thought I’d share some of those with you. The majority of these are from this year; some are from years gone by. Unfortunately I am not so great at noting down where I get them from, some you may recognise, others you may not but all rights to their respective owners. Some of them I have added my thoughts in brackets to, others I haven’t.

Here we go…

“Ruin is beautiful. It’s where transformation happens” (What a beautiful way to look at it)

“Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself”

“We all need someone who challenges us, someone who touches our soul”

“Some people can’t believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first” (This is me. 100% )

“We get to choose who we let in to our weird little world”

“Sure you’ll have bad times, but it will always wake you up to the good stuff you weren’t paying attention to” (PREACH)

“Part of growing up is learning to leave behind the nasty remarks and the hurt that comes with them and turning them into positives.”

“Ugliness is on the inside. Hatred and cruelty are what make a person truly ugly”

“The perfect marriage, just like the perfect wedding, doesn’t exist”

“It’s what marriage is all about: finding someone to love and love you back, through lifes hurdles. There should be excitement and fun but its how you deal with the tough times, how you get through the day-to-day and grow together that matters”

“We must take care of our family, no matter where we find them” (For someone who has always said family is purely blood, nothing more, this is super on point)

“The only way to heal is to trust”

“I thought too much, felt too much. I didn’t want to feel anything” – this should be engraved on my gravestone when I die.

“Getting older means accepting loss; it’s a fact of life. Some people will stay forever, some wont. It’s the heartbreak of being on this planet”

“My friends are my human wonderbras. Supportive, uplifting and they make me look bigger and better” (Thanks to my human wonderbras. You know who you are)

“There are people that you have that you cant bullshit and you have to be honest with them. Whether you want to or not”

“To be of service to other people is a purpose of life”

“The centre of the earth can be anywhere you want it to be”

“Sometimes closure arrives years later. Long after you stopped searching for it. You’re just sitting there, laughing this laugh that is unapologetically yours. As it trails off, the corners of your mouth hugs your face and it hits you “I’m happy”. It’s just like that. With no fanfare or epiphany. Suddenly you are grateful for the goodbyes that carried you to this moment; to the space you are now holding” (LIFE GOALS)

And the last one… a lovely one to finish with

“You’re always someone’s hero, whether you know it or not”

There we have it… just a selection of those I’ve noted down this last while. Those that know me may be able to guess which ones struck a chord with me and why – possibly even ones that I haven’t yet figured out myself. Anyway, I hope you enjoy them, I hope that maybe you might have had a moment of clarity when reading one of them.

I know I have.

From me and my hippy heart

Big love xoxo

Micks

I’ve done the impossible.

June 11, 2017thegirlwiththebackpack 2 Comments

Where I am: Mi casa

What I’m listening to: John Lennon ‘Imagine’ (It’s always appropriate)

Evening chums!

I’ve had a cray cray few weeks and have found myself faaaar behind in not only writing but also a lot of the other goals I have set for myself this year. This blog is nothing too heavy – there is only so much pain my heart can take and this past while there has been a lot. For that reason this post is nice and lighthearted – however, as any Disney fan will appreciate, it has also caused me a lot of trauma. Yes, y’all. I’ve done the impossible. I listed my top ten Disney movies.

It was traumatic to say the least. My top 3 were easy, but it’s the rest. I never thought it could be done, but here we are. Impossible is nothing.

Here we go… At number 10 we have….

Brother Bear

I remember first watching this when I was about 15. I laughed – those moose’s crack me up every time. I cried. It is the story of Kenai, a young Indian boy who is turned into a bear and learns some valuable life lessons.

I sang (Phil Collins, I thank you for a banging soundtrack) I’ve also been told I look like Koda more than once, I’m good with that because he cute af.

Tarzan

Another Phil Collins soundtrack, PRAISE BE TO JESUS. He’s up there with Alan Menken for me.

Tarzan, we all know the story – “Me Tarzan, You Jane” What a guy.

Moana

The most recent release on this list, I adore this movie. Lin Manuel-Miranda delivered one of the BEST soundtracks to date and I have been known to burst into a song (or 6) from this movie in the middle of the pub. Everyone sing with me “I WAS A DRAB LITTLE CRAB ONCE”.

Moana is our heroine who saves her people by travelling across the ocean, to restore the heart to Te Fiti with the help of a few friends. Also, I really want a pet pig like Moana.

Lilo and Stitch

C’maaaaannnn. This had to be on my list. Lilo is a bit of an oddball – which I’m sure we can all relate to. She wants a friend so her sister lets her adopt a ‘dog’ whom she calls Stitch. Little does she know that he’s actually the galaxy’s most wanted extraterrestrial. Stitch has issues and doesn’t really like people (I can relate on SO many levels) but Lilo is determined to tame him.

This is the movie that showed there are good guys out there (David) and taught that “Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten”

I’m not crying, you’re crying! Oh and Elvis Presley is on the soundtrack. I’m sold.

Pocahontas

What I wouldn’t give to have my very own Grandmother Willow. From the age of about 10 I wanted to be Pocahontas. I remember going to see it at the cinema – it was my first memory of seeing a movie in the cinema. I loved it. What a girl. Pocahontas was beautiful inside and out. Her best friend was a raccoon and her life coach was a tree. Colours of the Wind is one of my favourite Disney songs ever, it’s message is powerful and still resonates all these years later.

Cinderella

My favourite Disney movie when I was small. This always reminds me of being off school and poorly because that was when I would get to watch it the most. I wanted my own posse of mice friends, a dog called Bruno and the fairy godmother. I’m good without the dead dad and evil step family though.

Mulan

Mulan. I only watched this for the first time in the last few years but it has quickly become one of my favourites. SHE IS BADASS. What other girl can save the whole of China? Sure she had help, but it was her plan. I think this may have been the first Disney movie that showed us that you didn’t have to be the ‘pretty’ girl to succeed. Your brain is worth just as much as a pretty face, if not more.

Additionally, Eddie Murphy’s Mushu is a brilliant side kick for Mulan and is def in my top 5 sidekicks.

Aladdin

Alan Menken soundtrack.

Robin Williams voiced sidekick (the Genie is the number one sidekick, ever.)

His best pal is a monkey.

WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE.

Tangled

My favourite Disney princess; Rapunzel. I mean. Hashtag hair goals. She looks at the world with wide naïve eyes and I love it. She has the knack of seeing the best in everyone and making friends with everyone – be it the grumpy palace horse, a pub full of villains or our male lead Mr Flynn Ryder. Another great soundtrack. The scene on the lake gave me my dream proposal even though I’m sure I never want to actually get married. Dreamy.

PETER PAN

No surprises here. I am called the female Peter Pan at least once a month. I love him, even though that may sound a bit weird. Neverland is my dream home.

“To live would be an awfully big adventure”.

Wouldn’t it just.

So there you have it… any surprises? I actually surprised myself when writing this. There are so many movies that nearly made the list but I stand proud of my top ten. Ask me next week though and numbers 5-10 may have changed. I’ve always been a fickle creature.

What is in your top ten? Tell me do, I could talk about Disney all day, everyday!

The year of 27.

May 29, 2017thegirlwiththebackpack 2 Comments

Where I am: my bed

Listening to : Paramore ‘After Laughter’

Wassup dawgggss!!

WHAT A YEAR. Next week marks 3 years since I started sharing my word vomit with the world. It is also my 28th birthday. I seem to have made a tradition for myself in sharing lists around this time of year – normally things I’ve learnt. This year though I am going to share 27 things I loved about being 27; it’s a great way to say goodbye to my 27th year.

I started 27 off the saddest and have ended up the happiest. Life will throw all sorts of things your way but it makes you tougher, it makes you funnier (we all know I’m hilarious) and it makes the good times exponentially more magical.

So here it is, 27 things I loved about being 27.

I SAW PAUL MCCARTNEY AND RINGO STARR IN THE FLESH

I just so happened to be in Leicester square the same time they were. I was going to the theatre, they were there premiering their movie ‘Eight Days a Week’. I had to jump to see them, but I did. Be still my beating heart.

PRAHA

Since 2010 I have wanted to visit this magical city. An old friend had studied there for a year and his tales made me want to go. This year I did. Leanna turned 21, so we made a special trip. Such fun.

ARLO RALPH BOULTER

Nuff’ said

I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY OTHER 2 NEPHEWS EVEN MORE

Oscar has been the main man since 20/11/2011. He is the best kid, I laugh so much when I’m with him. I could cry with pride at the person he is becoming.

Mason-James – we started the year hating each other. We finished it as best friends. He is the dreamiest little guy.

I WAS VERY BRITISH AND HAD AFTERNOON TEA AT THE RITZ

Momma Sophs asked to go for her birthday so that’s what we did. I was far too common to be allowed in a place like that but I somehow managed to sneak in.

FRIENDS FEST

Naughty Norman made it happen last minute. I love that girl and loved that day.

OK LADIES NOW LET’S GET IN FORMATION

Beyonce pt 2. Croke Park, Dublin. Ain’t no party like a Queen B party.

NICK THE TIGER WAS IMMORTALISED ON MY WRIST

Many of you know we lost our boy Nick Lashaway in May 2016. This is my tribute to him.

I HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN

I liked this, huh? Well, yes. It gave me clarity, a different outlook and a better direction. As a result of this…

I LEARNT WHO WAS TRULY RIDE-OR-DIE

And who is ‘ride until you do something I don’t like/agree with’

THE BOOK OF MORMON

I’d read the reviews, I’d seen snippets on Youtube but was yet to go. Was it worth the wait? Abso-fuckin-lutely. Hilarious, I laughed from the opening number right through to the finale.

CLIMBED THE 02

Miranda and Stevie had a little day out. Such fun!

I FELT THE LOVE

When I needed it most, even when I didn’t ask for it, I felt the love from my pals. When I felt like I was free-falling and couldn’t find solid ground they were there at the side saying ‘It’s right here’. Biggest shout outs go to Sophie, Leanna, Dalbs, Rachpal and the BFG.

HELSINKI

I finally got to go and see my bro and his hoe in their city.

ICE HOCKEY GAME

Y’all know I have lots of friends in the US of A. The only American sport I was really interested in was Ice Hockey. It may have taken 4 years but I finally got to a game. Thanks, Wilf!

I REALISED YOU DON’T HAVE TO RUN AWAY TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE

What is probably obvious to some was not so to me. I felt very stuck this time last year. Very unhappy with an injured heart. An old dream came back to me and I thought it would change everything. Until I realised it wouldn’t and the dream had changed. I was running away. It’s not necessary.

DISNEY

The most magical day.

DIANE ALICE LORRAINE GOT BOOKFACE

Many of you will not understand the significance of this. It’s HUGE..

I CAME OFF MY HAPPY PILLS

Happy pill free since Aug ’16.

I REDISCOVERED MY LOVE FOR MY WORK

It feels different this time; I’m so much happier. Sure there are still days I want to put my head through a wall but overall it’s all gravy baby.

INDIA WITH MIRANDA AND STEVIE

So this is happening. Our boss authorized us to be off at the same time saying “Please both come back in one piece as I can’t be down two store managers”
Michelle “Oh I’ll be fine but if she pisses me off too much I might sell her for a camel”
Charming.

FRIENDS AND FOOD

I found those friends that find it acceptable to eat dinner in one place and then go somewhere else for dessert. Hashtag winning. Next time we’re going 3 for 3 – starter, main and dessert at separate places.

DELETE

If anything is too much effort, delete. This goes for everything from Social Media (see ya, twitter) to friends.

NEW FRIENDS

I’ve spoken about this before but this year I made some new pals, ones that I wasn’t looking to make but now I wouldn’t be without them. Big up yourselves.

NICK LASHAWAY DAY

It was magical from start to finish and the most perfect way to remember him, big love to my American Fam for including me. I’m sure he would have been rolling his eyes at all the fuss haha.

ACCEPTANCE

The road to self love, and accepting yourself is a long one. I’d been unhappy for a long time. This year I feel like I have accepted myself more. It will no doubt always be a battle for me but I feel like I’ve made my biggest leaps down that road this year.

I LOVE LIFE

For someone that was unhappy for so long this is a big statement to make. 27 will always be the year that I fell back in love with life, I’m excited for the future.

Final thoughts:

Make the most of every single second. Be nice to people. Never go to bed on an argument and never mix your drinks!!

Thank you to anyone and everyone that has impacted my life in the last year, thank you to those I have learnt from. Thank you to those friends that have been there for the good and the bad, I am lucky enough to call some of the best people on the planet my friends. Thank you all for believing in me and seeing my light when I couldn’t see it myself (Amy Jayne, especially you here. You never stop telling me). I’m not quite sure what I’ve done to deserve you all but I am so grateful. I’m going into 28 with so much joy and gratitude in my heart.
Thanks for the adventures. Thanks for the laughs (Byng, especially you. Please never, ever change)

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

It’s been magic!!

Xoxo Micks

Manchester

May 25, 2017thegirlwiththebackpack Leave a comment

I woke up at 3:30am Monday night to see the news about the Manchester attack. Half asleep I could not really process what I was seeing before my eyes.
Having fallen back to sleep, I woke up again around 6am and again struggled to process what it was I was seeing.

The more I read, the more I see, the more I get upset. For me, and I’m sure all of you, the hardest thing for me to get my head around is why? Why would someone do this? How can someone have so much hatred in their heart and head to even THINK to do this, let alone carry the attack out.

I have been in tears reading about what’s happened, I cannot even try to watch the news and many videos being circulated. Those poor people went out to lose themselves in music for the night and some ended up losing their lives. The youngest victim announced so far is only 2 1/2 years older than my precious Godson Oscar and my heart breaks to even THINK of him going through anything like this – I can’t even imagine what her parents are feeling.

Ariana herself tweeted a short while after saying

I can imagine she is feeling guilty as hell that she chose tonight to play her show because if there had been no show then there may have been no attack (for the record I don’t believe this is true, I think it would have happened regardless).

What I hope Ariana, and more so all families of the victims take comfort in is that the majority of these people had just had the time of their lives. They had spent the evening laughing and singing and dancing and loving every second of it.

I always look for the light in the dark times and in the press we can see them everywhere – from the taxi drivers offering free lifts home, the hotels taking in children, the beautiful hero that is Chris Parker – the homeless man who rushed to help and cradled someone as they died, so they didn’t die alone, the citizens of Manchester turning up to donate blood throughout today so that the hospitals would have enough supplies if needed, everyone that has donated to the fund for the victims… there are lights everywhere.
Manchester, I applaud you. Your residents have really shown what they’re made of in your hour of need. You have once again shown that we the people will not be beaten, we will continue to stand tall and extend hope and love to our neighbours – no matter their colour or creed.
As with any attack like this it will take time to heal, it will take time to fully process and, for want of a better phrase, move on from it. The community will never quite be same, if only because there are 22 souls missing from their streets, from their homes and from their lives. Really, I don’t think it is something any of us can move on from.
My heart breaks for anyone and everyone effected. I’m truly sorry.
Everyone has been very vocal about the attack and their opinions on it, I won’t document them here because, well you have google. All I will do is quote Harry Styles who spoke about it onstage in Mexico

“…choose love every single day”
It’s what the world needs.
Manchester, we’re with you.

Always.

Opinion Overload

May 23, 2017thegirlwiththebackpack Leave a comment

I have recently realised something about myself; I have a lot of opinions. I know, I know – state the fucking obvious Michaela.

When I was in Ireland a while back I remember looking for an article to show my friend on my Facebook wall that I had shared previously and that’s when it hit me – a lot of my posts had been politically charged or about sensitive issues such as sexual abuse, being part of the LGBTQ community, feminism, sexism… you catch my drift; all topics that easily divide opinions.

The first thing that ran through my head was “wow, I bet my friends roll their eyes at all my posts and shares.” I was sorry that I had opinions. Then when I really thought about that knee jerk reaction I had to seeing my own posts I became annoyed – at me. I was sorry? WHAT NOW? Why would I not share something that I find interesting just because someone I connect with on social media might disagree with it? It’s more likely that they just scroll right pass it and don’t think about it.

Opinions. We’ve all got one, right?

Opinions are healthy, opinions mean we are interested and engaged in what is going on around us; in our lives and in the world.

We don’t all have to agree on everything; it isn’t natural for us to. That doesn’t mean we should stop forming, having and expressing opinions. There is nothing I love more than a healthy debate so I personally really enjoy when people have differing opinions. I’d like to think that my opinions are based on a healthy mix of common sense, education about the topic at hand and perhaps a dash of empathy where necessary. I’d also like to presume that everyone elses opinion are based on this mix but one look at the comments section on pretty much ANY online article and I find myself realizing that this is very, very wrong.

You can learn a lot from people who have different opinions and in turn you teach them a lot. What cannot be condoned though is ignorance and, to a point, stubbornness. Opinions are changeable but without that willingness to learn and communicate or process new information in an objective way you will never grow and will probably end up quite a lonely person – I mean, who wants to be around someone who thinks they are ALWAYS right? Not me, sister!

I have always been an opinionated little ratbag. I remember people giving me shit in school for it when I was about 10 years old. Back then it bothered me, now not so much. Why would I chose to stay silent about things I feel strongly about, especially on my own social media? Perhaps more importantly, why should I feel I should keep quiet?

One day I may become so un-bothered by the world and not give a hoot anymore but until then if you dislike me and my opinions then please remove yourself from my social media profiles.

Right, I’m off to sign up for opinions anonymous.

Ciao for now

Ok Ladies, now let’s get in formation.

May 17, 2017thegirlwiththebackpack Leave a comment

“Men make the moral code and they expect women to accept it.”

That is a direct quote from Emmeline Pankhurst. I must say, what a woman.

Like most people my age I knew Emmeline’s name, I knew that she was a big player in securing the vote for women. I knew that she inspired a group of women to bring about a change in the British Law that we still benefit from today. What I didn’t take away from those History lessons in secondary school (ICC class of 2005 waddup) was how much those women went through to get something that we take for granted now, that some women don’t even use.

Speaking to someone on the weekend it became apparent she didn’t even know who Ms. Pankhurst was, and what the suffragettes did; how much of a stir they created. How they went to prison for asking to be heard and have a say in how their country was run. How they were seen as ‘odd’ and outcast because they wanted their voices, the voices of women all over the country, to be heard.

I have previously posted on my social media the impact the move “Suffragette” had on me when I saw it. Of course there was a storyline that was the work of fiction as the main focus of the movie, but they were based on real things that happened to real women in those times. The facts and issues they faced were based on real events, inspired by real events. With the impending general election in Britain I feel like I need to revisit the importance of this film and it’s message.

I am not here to tell you about the parties policies. You have google, research it. I am here to ask one thing of you –

LADIES – USE YOUR VOTE. PLEASE.

EDUCATE YOURSELF ON THE PARTIES AND THEIR POLICIES AND USE YOUR VOTE.

MEN, YOU TOO.

We all know how opinionated I am, I have pretty strong views on most things. I lost facebook friends over my opinions on Brexit (tragic, really). Yesterday when I was at coffee with one of my friends we started talking about the general election and I got so wound up that we had to change the subject.

Extreme some might say; necessary to others.

For me I find it completely mind boggling that people DON’T use their votes, that some don’t see the point in educating themselves and blindly vote for the party they always have, or the party their parents do. My voting history is not one that is consistent with any one party – I am proud to say that with each election I take the time to listen and research the policies and vote based on that. Since I have turned 18 I have voted for all 3 of the major parties; and even some of the smaller ones. I may be blindly loyal in other situations but not in political ones.

“My vote doesn’t make a difference”

I’ll just leave this lovely little graph here showing how wrong you are…

act.goingtowork.org.uk

All those votes not made – it could have changed the face of the UK. It is crazy to me that you would not want to be heard, you would not want to have the chance to influence your future; the future of your country; the one that so many were keen to ‘get back’ from the EU.

As a woman I can’t help but go back to what the suffragettes did for us, to get our vote, to allow us ladies to be heard. To know there are women that now don’t use that vote – well you may as well go and take a piss on Ms. Pankhurst’s grave. To me it is that disrespectful. Again, some may say that’s an extreme opinion but after seeing the movie and then doing further research myself I would beg to differ.

I mean, women in Saudi Arabia have only been allowed to vote since 2015.

2 years.

I’m younger than a lot of those women and I have more years of voting under my belt. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

Women living in Vatican City are still not allowed to vote. IN 2017.

Perhaps if you were not allowed to vote then the ‘non-voters’ would feel slightly differently, who knows.

So, this is a call to arms.

Beyonce says so!

STAND UP AND BE COUNTED.

AND THEN ON JUNE 8^TH – VOTE.

I don’t care who you vote for on June 8^th – ok, well I do. It would be great if we could all agree with me but I do understand that differences in opinions are what make life so colourful – I just care that you vote; that you educate yourselves and vote.

Your country needs you.

Don’t let it down.

Xoxo Micks

P.s register to vote here: https://www.gov.uk/register-to-vote