friday night ramblings

hello.

i’m not really sure what this post is going to be about if i’m honest but i was talking to one of my friends this morning who said i should start blogging again because she missed it.

i said i didn’t feel like i had anything to say

she told me to shut up (how rude) and start doing it again.

i used to write a lot because i had a lot of thoughts that i wanted to share with the world, because it calmed my mind and because i genuinely enjoyed it. some of you seemed to too. fair enough, 90% of the time yous were probably all thinking ‘oh fuck off” but you were all kind enough to never tell me – i guess you could tell i had a fragile ego through my words – so thank you.

why i haven’t written a lot for the last year or so? I just know i haven’t felt like writing. like i said, i just haven’t felt i’ve got much to share.

i think, in all honesty, at my core, i’ve been pretty unhappy these last 8 months or so, i couldn’t tell you why. i’ve just felt very detached from my life, almost left out of it (is that even possible? does anyone else ever feel like that or have i totally lost it). people i never imagined life without seem to be drifting away and i’m not quite sure how to reverse that.

i know i work too much – lots of people have told me that – but it’s just who i am. people tell me if i didn’t work so much then i’d not feel so distant. maybe they’re correct but i love being busy at work and feeling useful.

i’m sure people will read this and say they had no idea i’d felt like that… well that’s the beauty of social media. it’s made us a society of show offs – naturally we only post the great stuff, or the bad stuff that’s not really that bad but more funny. i’m so guilty of this. i bet you are too. no one wants a picture of me having a breakdown, questioning all my life decisions and wondering if i’ll be alone forever and if this is everything i have to look forward to… they want a picture of something fun and happy #blessed

anyway, look, i’m rambling.

i guess maybe this post is just me having a bit of a vent and testing the waters again. to see if i can still string a coherent sentence together and maybe the odd paragraph. how am i doing?

xoxo M

• Dorentina •

Day 11.

Hello.

Dorentina, Queen Dora … it’s your turn for a letter.

I mean, I said a lot of nice things about you in your card but I also figured that if I didn’t write you a letter then you’d probably cut me so here it is (I’m joking… kind of)

I have worked with many people over the years and I can truly say, you’re one of a kind.

Take that as you wish 😉

Can you believe it’s been 4 weeks since I saw your face? FOUR WEEKS. Honestly… time is flying.

The thing I miss about our old work is the people… I laughed at someone / something every day. Every single day when I worked with you. I miss that. I also miss the M&S apple crumble and custard dates we used to have. I haven’t had one since I left because I feel like if I do, I’m cheating on you 😂

Anyway, to keep it short and sweet. I think you’re bloody fantastic. And pretty, let’s not forget pretty. Considering you thought I was rude when you first met me, I don’t think this turned out too badly, do you?

Thanks for being my wing woman when we worked together, and gracing me with that Big Dick energy. Knowing I had someone that had my back in that place was so reassuring. I hope you know I always had yours too.

I hope if you learnt one thing from working with me it was to trust yourself more, you’re a good manager – dedicated, loyal, you get the job done and encourage others to come along with you (unless it was Ben, he didn’t have a choice, he had to come whether he wanted to or not 😂) Always happy to let the team have their fun so long as the job got done – I know I don’t have to tell you how important that is.

You special – and I mean that in a nice way, not a sarcastic way (for once)

Can’t wait to see what the future holds for you because I know it will be exciting and a great story to listen to. Let’s hang out soon.

Missing you and your big dick energy, errrryday.

Xoxo Mik

• Mummy Cheese •

Mummy Cheese.

You’re my day 10.

1. I miss you

2. I love you

3. I miss you

Please come back to me.

One of the BEST things to come out of my time at Mothercare. Swear down. I miss calling you after conference calls on a Tuesday to have a chat and occasionally advise you on what to do when a pigeon gets stuck in the shop (RIP Clive).

I got the good vibes from you the first time I met you. Region 9 (I think) meeting in Maidstone. You were the new kid and you walked in with your backpack and I was like “she’s my people, she likes backpacks!!” (honestly, I know, I’m weird)

Since then you’ve just gone up even further in my estimations.

You’re such a support to me, you help me cut through all the noise and remind me to pick the weeds from my garden (so to speak). You say the things I need to hear, even when I’m not really ready to hear or accept them. You just keep saying it until it sinks in and I go ‘you were right’ and you smile and say ‘I know’.

I know that you always have my back. Please know I always have yours.

We have the same (excellent) taste in music and I always looked forward to the conferences/ xmas parties / leaving do’s because I knew we would be on the same team asking the DJ for a bit of Dizzee or old garage chooons.

You love of a good pun is the cherry on top of the cake.

You are beautiful, inside and out, and can rock that Pixie cut in a way that no one else can. You have no idea how jealous that makes me.

I love how much you love your new job.

I love that they are recognising your greatness. You deserve it. I feel like you’ve found your place there and it’s so amazing to hear about and see.

My only issue is that it means we aren’t working together. Please can we work together again?! Some day in the future? Purleeeeaseeee.

Love you, Rachel.

Thanks for being my pal.

xoxo M

• J- Ro •

Day 9 (I think)

JRo.

If anyone ever needs proof that opposites attract then they need look no further than us.

Honestly.

Even your Ma has commented on how different we are.

Our friendship just works though, and I’m so glad it does. I think we balance each other out.

You’re one of my most low maintenance friendships. We go months and months without any contact and then when we do chat, it’s like old times. Nothing’s changed.

I know that I can be hard work, and I know that I’m not always the easiest person for you to be friends with – sometimes our differences are glaringly obvious and that can cause some friction. I know, without you saying anything, that there have been times when you don’t know if you’re coming or going with me and for that I apologise. I want you to know that I’m glad you have stuck around though.

My first and original travel buddy – we’ve had some adventures! I love how keen you are to see the world and how educated on EVERYTHING you are. You are, without a doubt, my smartest friend.

Our adventures have taken us all over Europe and the US. The most glamorous moment of my life is still brushing my teeth in Walmart when we were RVing!! I’m so glad I got to do that with you by my side.

You have the kindest heart of anyone I know – you are my moral compass at times. Not a bad word to say about anyone (except maybe Trump), you lead with love and compassion.

Like me, you just want world peace.

I’m so glad I met you. I’m so glad I get to call you my friend.

I can’t wait to see you in May, give you a big ‘ole hug and make some more memories.

All the love, JRo. All the love

xoxo M

• Steph •

Stephanie Hall.

You Goddess.

When I try and describe my friends it’s always a hard thing to do because there are always so deliciously complex that to only use one word / one phrase would do them an injustice.

You are no different.

The best way I can describe you is this though – you’re the inner voice everyone should have.

You know how fuck boys always have a habit of coming back just as you’ve moved on? Well you always seem to have a habit of checking in just when I am about done with life and all it’s shit. How do you knoooow??? LITERALLY.

I still remember the first time I met you, just a couple of small town girls, living in a small town world (Big up Guildford). You and Gemma both got the job at Mothercare and told Diane that you didn’t know each other… then spent your first shift walking around the floor together. I remember saying to Huma “they’re obviously mates”. Didn’t hide it well, hun 😂

Then there was the jumper out the back (that was pretty traumatic) but you were just as nosy and me about it and I knew then you were just like me.

You were always down for a laugh and weren’t scared of making a fool of yourself for it and I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU. This probably sounds rude but I’m gonna say it anyway – you wouldn’t expect someone so hot to be so funny. You’re bloody hilarious.

We’ve come along way from cleaning porches on a Sunday and being sung to by the homeless folk of Guildford (he was right, you are beautiful) and I’m so glad I’ve got to stand by the sidelines and watch you blossom into a kind hearted, successful, beautiful woman.

Instagram has such a filter on it and I know behind the happy grins and ‘carefree’ life on those squares there is a lot of hard work and effort that allows you to enjoy the best of what life has to offer. You deserve all of it and so much more.

You are such a force and I’m so glad I get to feel that in my world (sounded less dodgy in my head lol)

Keep on being you, because you are just wonderful.

I love you.

M xoxo

• Byng •

Day 7.

My Byngalyng.

I adore you.

That’s all.

No, I’m just messing with you, but I do. I really do.

You are, most probably, the funniest person I know and you have definitely taught me how important it is to be able to laugh at yourself and how much more fun life is when you laugh your way through it. Any afternoon spent with you is an ab workout. Everyone needs a friend like Byng!! (They can’t actually have you though because you’re mine and I don’t like to share too much)

One of the most genuine, kind hearted people I know. I’m so glad you’re my friend. So supportive and so easy to get along with. I do not know anyone that has a bad word to say about you. We all know I’m a bit like marmite – people either love me or hate me, but you, you’re like chocolate. EVERYONE LOVES YOU.

Always up for an adventure, be it to Norfolk or LA. Some of my favourite memories over the last decade are with you and because of you.

Shout out to that time walking down Venice Beach –

“You in the black! The sun is not your friend”

What a dick.

Thanks for sticking around.

I can’t wait to see what the next 10 years look like.

Love you, peanut cup

M xoxo

• Rachpal •

Well I’m just slightly behind on these 🙈 please forgive me!

Today, Day 6.

McCarth.

I don’t think I really need to tell you how important you are to me because, well I think you know, but I will because I can.

I fucking love you.

I might not have used my degree but the fact I got to meet you – well that is worth the Student Loan debt 😂

I’m so glad I get to do life knowing you.

I sometimes forget how much we’ve changed since we first met. I mean… jeez louise.

I still remember the first time we met.

Stood in that lecture hall to listen to Ursula harp on about Erasmus – we both wanted something more out of uni, hunting for an adventure.

“My brother’s girlfriend did it and said it was just one big party” – direct quote from you.

HELLO VALENCIA.

Theeee best 4 months.

We worked, we played, we laughed, we walked out of university lectures and placements (oops) because we’d rather be at home in one of our apartments having a cup of tea and listening to emo music.

There are far too many memories and private jokes for me to list here but a couple of my favourites are (and these won’t make sense to anyone but us)

“Yeah, yeah, yeah”

“YOU STAGGER”

“DONT LET THEM GET THE BIKES”

“Sea bass (sea bass), Scallops (scallops)”

We have the same sense of humour and I knew we were friends for life when we would lay in bed laughing for hours through the night, knowing that we’d regret it in the morning because we actually had to be adults and teach classes of impressionable Spanish children – imagine they will be about 16 now?! Might be older actually… 18? Sweet lord.

You are thoughtful, generous, kind, make a killer cup of tea. You always have an ear for anyone and you never make people feel like they’re a burden. You’ve been there for me through some of theeee worst times and through all of my mistakes (there’s been a few). Even though I’m sure there were times you wanted to shake me and tell me to buck up.

You also are the most incredible mother to those two incredible boys – they are a credit to you. If I ever have children (that little girl you were talking about the other day) I can only hope to be half the mum you are and I’d be chuffed with that. I love them more than life. I hope you know that.

You deserve all the happiness in the world.

Truly.

One in a million.

Love you, pal.

Xoxox M