shantaram – pt. 1

where i am: montrose, CA

what im listening to: tori kelly- unbreakable smile

can i just say this holiday rocks! i haven’t been this relaxed in so long – i haven’t eaten  this much in forever – i am constantly full up. its got to the point where i may need to book an extra seat on the flight home to accommodate my increasingly large arse. not only that but i am getting the chance to write so much, i haven’t written in my notebook this much since the beginning of the year when i was a bum. the more i write, the clearer my head feels, always.

today’s post is a little different from the norm in that i’m going to be giving you someone else’s words and thoughts and not my own.

i am constantly fascinated with people, their stories, their lessons, their thoughts and views on life and everything that happens to us. 

if you’ve been reading my posts for a while you’ll know i can be quite sensitive (i pretend i am not “i don’t have a heart” is a favourite line of mine) but actually i am really sensitive and i feel everything probably a bit more than i should. i am that girl that can burst into tears over a book, a song or even an advert on the telly (yes, i’m a loser). 

i was recently lent a book by a friend called ‘shantaram’ by gregory david roberts. i am obsessed. there are so many truth bombs in the text, so many statements that make me really think and so many that resonate with me. i’m going to share some of them here. also, i’ve called this part one because i can guarantee i will end up sharing more from this book in the future. you’re welcome. 

“It took me a long time and most of the world to learn what I know about love and fate and the choices we make, but the heart of it came to me in an instant. The choice you make between hating and forgiving can be come the story of your life”

The best thing in the world is power… love is the opposite of power, that’s why we fear it so much”

“She loved the guy. She did it for him. She would’ve done anything for him. Some women are like that. Some loves are like that, from what I can see. Your love starts to feel like an overcrowded lifeboat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self respect and your independence. After a while you start throwing people out, your friends, people you used to know. And it’s still not enough. The lifeboat is still sinking and you know it’s going to take you down with it. I’ve seen that happen to a lot of girls here. I think that’s why I’m sick of love.”

“There’s a truth that’s deeper than experience. It’s beyond what we see, or even what we feel. It’s an order of truth that separates the profound from the merely clever, and the reality from the perception. We’re helpless usually in the face of it; and the cost of knowing it, like the cost of knowing love, is sometimes greater than any heart would willingly pay. It doesn’t always help us to love the world but it does prevent us from hating the world. And the only way to know the truth, is to share it, heart to heart…”

“I think that we all, each one of us, we all have to earn our future. I think the future is like anything else that is important. It had to be earned. If we don’t earn it, we don’t have a future at all. And if we don’t earn it, we don’t deserve it. We have to live in the present, more or less forever. Or worse, we have to live in the past. I think that’s probably what love is – a way of earning the future”

“One of the reasons we crave love, and seek it so desperately, is that love is the only cure for loneliness, and shame, and sorrow. But some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths about yourself are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. And some things are just so sad that only your soul can do the crying for you”

“Fate has every power over us but two. Fate cannot control our free will, and fate cannot lie. Men lie, to themselves more than to others, and to others more often than they tell the truth. But fate does not lie”

Reality – as you see it, as most people see it – is nothing more than an illusion. There is another reality, beyond what we see with our eyes. You have to feel your way into that reality with your heart. There is no other way”

“Justice is not only the way we punish those who do wrong. It is also the way we save them”

“It’s forgiveness that makes us what we are. Without forgiveness, our species would have anhilated itself in endless retributions. Without forgiveness, there would be no history. Without that hope, there would be no art, for every work of art is an act of forgiveness. Without that dream, there would be no love, for every act of love is in someway a promise to forgive. We live on because we can love, and we love because we can forgive”


i mean…  wow, right? 

some of those i read, and re read, and read again. i copied those down in my journal and annotated them, i added my thoughts (i haven’t done that here because i don’t think it’s necessary and would probably take away from the original message) some of those made me really sit and think. others brought me to tears. does that make me weird? most likely. i’m ok that. 

i’m about halfway through the book and i’m excited to see how it turns out. if you’re looking for a new book to read i can’t recommend it enough. 

xoxo

Micks 

Just like John, I’m so tired. 

where i am: Los Angeles with my American fam.

where my head is at: who bloody knows. when it stops spinning I’ll let you know. 

It’s happening, friends. I’m getting old. I can feel it in myself. I realise 28 isn’t really old in a numbers sense but I’m not talking about numbers and years. I’m talking about in my mindset, in my head. 

I’m feeling old. I’m feeling tired. I’m feeling the need to slow down and take some time for me, myself and I. I’m feeling like I want to start being selfish with my time. Since I was 20 or 21 every single holiday I took from work has been filled with trips here, there and everywhere. One of the first lines people say to me when they see me is ‘Where’s your next trip?’ Or ‘Where are you going to next?’. The self confessed free-spirit of my family, the traveller, the nomad I have always been the adventurer. I have loved it. I do love it, still, but I’m tired.

I have done some of the most incredible things on these holidays – I have had tomatoes thrown at my face during La Tomatina in Spain, seen the sunrise across Bryce Canyon in the US, got lost in the caves in Postonja, Slovenia. I’ve climbed Mount Vesuvius, sang and danced my way down the Champs Elysées, had my heart broken walking around Anne Frank House. I stayed out until the sun came up with friends I just made in NYC, felt the flames of Fallas on my face (not literally) in Valencia, visited Obama at the White House, swooned over the views at Giant’s Causeway… and so much more. 

But I’m tired.

I’m really fucking tired.

I was talking to one of my friends about this recently. I said that after my trip to India I have no trips planned. For the first time in a long time, I’m totally ok with that. It’s a very odd thing for me to say. I’m always looking ahead to the next holiday, the next adventure. Sure there are loose plans, but nothing confirmed.

My friend agreed it was odd and I said how tired I was. I said how I feel like I’m always travelling and that I have minimal time at home, to spend my time just being with the people I have in my life in England. My friend said to me that it’s ok to be selfish with my free time. That sometimes it is necessary. Sometimes, instead of flying off to visit someone when I have rare time off work, it’s ok to be selfish and say either ‘you come here’ or simply, ‘no’. I’m taking this time for me. I’m taking this time to be at home, to sleep in and see the people in this country. 

I realise this may post may rub people the wrong way, it may come across as ungrateful; you may be thinking I’m a brat. I promise you I’m not, that’s not my intention. I am aware how lucky I am to have travelled as I do, as I have. 

I’m also aware that I may change my mind on this (hello the sometimes fickle Gemini mind), perhaps I’m feeling this way as I’ve only had one week off since March. 

I’m just saying that right now, in this moment, I’m tired.

I’m currently visiting friends in the US. I go home, have 5 days at work and then fly to India for 2 weeks. After that, aside from work, my time is my own. 

I can’t fucking wait 

Xoxo Micks 

Feck it, it’s 2017

Date: 14/12/16

Time: 8:27am

Where I am : On a train somewhere between Southampton and Weymouth

What I’m listening to: The Overtones ‘You’ve lost that loving feeling’ and anything else that Lachie sings lead on because THAT VOICE (insert heart eye emoji)

 

 

 

Hullo to you my lovely reader. It’s been a while hasn’t it. I hope this finds you all well and full of festive cheer. Christmas time, as a lot of you know, is one of my favourite times of the year – or at least the build up to it. Christmas day is normally a bit of a let down – everyone eats and drinks until they hate themselves and then there is an argument over who cheated at Monopoly. This year though, I am not as in to it as normal and that may be because I have something bigger to focus on.

 

January 1st.

 

No no, not that ‘new year, new me’ tosh.

January 1st I’m leaving the homeland for adventures with no return date.

Solo.

Alone.

All by myself. (you have to sing that one)

 

 

Am I excited? Yes.

Am I crazy? Most definitely.

Am I scared? Hell yes, but as someone once told me – if your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough.

 

Doing the Australia work/travel thing is something that I have been talking/ dreaming about for 7 years now. Yep. SEVEN years. Almost a decade. It’s been 5 years since my old boss Mrs T (who currently resides there) told me to get my butt over there. “Give me a few years” I said… 5 years later…oops. There was always something in the way – there was the epic summer of ’13 in the States, then there was my sister’s wedding. Then I was petrified something would happen to my Grandad and I wouldn’t be here – October 2014 saw that horror realised. Then my sister got pregnant, my friend Amy got engaged and wanted me to write for the wedding and be in the wedding party… after that I ran out of excuses. They were all excuses too – the things I listed there (all bar the American Summer) would have happened regardless of me being in England or not. I could have gone and come back for those things but the truth is, I wasn’t brave enough to go. I was so used to relying on other people to keep me company, to take care of me and guide me that I would never have survived travelling alone. The loneliness would have killed me.

 

Now I figure, feck it. You can be lonely no matter where you are, so where better to be lonely than on a beach in Aus whilst topping up your vitamin D levels? Of course there is the possibility that I will not like it, I may find that the grass isn’t greener and home really is where the heart is. I’ve said for the last few years now, the more I travel the more I realise that London is the best city in the world – and it is right on my doorstep. Maybe I am silly for jumping ship across the world and leaving that behind. However, the beauty of the year 2017 is that I can come back whenever I want.

 

My visa is currently 6 months, with the option to stay on a work/travel visa in Aus for up to 2 years. The majority of my friends seem to think that I won’t come back – as my friend Amy put it “You’ll either hate it and be back within a week, or you’ll love it and we’ll never see you again”. It’s true, there rarely is grey area with me in anything I do. The idea that I may not come back probably goes someway to explaining why, when I talk to people, it feels like I’m dying “Oh I need to see you before you go!” “I can’t believe you’re not going to be here” and so on and so forth. I’m not dying people, I’m just going to see what the land down under has to offer for a wee while. Calm yourselves. Of course it’s nice people want to see me (I like being liked) but I don’t like a fuss and I feel that there is massive ‘fuss’ potential in this move, if that makes any sense? Probably not, I’ve had about 90 mins sleep in the last 24 hours so I apologise if it doesn’t make sense.

 

Truth be told I don’t know what is going to happen when I am away. I don’t know if I will love or hate it. I don’t have a plan on how long I will be there because of this. Maybe I’ll end up somewhere else. Who knows what could happen? So long as I am happy and healthy I’ll go wherever the wind takes me. The uncertainty is part of the adventure and, I may as well do it now because, why not? To quote the great philosopher Drake “YOLO”.

 

YOLO, that’s the motto.

 

xoxo

 

Micks

 

P.S if y’all have any recommendations for me of what to do/see in Aus then by all means let me know! I’d love to hear them.

 

 

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Numerology, Soulmates and Jake.

Soul mates. Do you believe in them? I know I have written about them before and my belief hasn’t changed. I still believe in them but not in the traditional sense of there is one for everyone. I believe that we all have multiple soul mates; time and circumstance determines which ones we find, when and why.

There is a great quote from Eat. Pray Love about soul mates. It talks about how we aren’t meant to stay with them, that we meet them to learn about ourselves, they shake things up for us and then they move on. I think this is true, at least it rings true for me and it’s what I choose to believe.

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soulmate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tears your walls down and smack you awake. But to live with a soulmate forever? Nah, too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life to reveal another layer of yourself to you and then they leave. And thank God for it” – Eat, Pray, Love. 

Most people who know me well know I am open to most things and believe in things that others might not necessarily. Things such as spirits, zodiac sign traits tarot cards etc so to those people that know that it wouldn’t surprise them to hear I had my numerology read the other night. It wasn’t massively in-depth, just scratched the surface on a few areas of life.

Numerology, for those of you that don’t know, is the study of numbers and how they affect and reflect certain aptitudes and personality traits. Each letter has a numeric value and these numbers show a great deal about character, purpose in life, what motivates the person who’s having their numbers read and also where their talents lie.

Of course, along with anything else that doesn’t have solid proof, there are many that don’t believe it and think it to be absolute tosh. I find it extremely interesting and am open to hearing it at least. Perhaps they got lucky when reading mine but there were a few things that rang true for me; especially within the relationships section, here are some snippets.

(N.B they had no idea of my current relationship status, dating history etc)

 

“You’re pretty choosy about romantic partners”

 

“You’re unpredictable… nonconformist… what pleases other women doesn’t please you”

 

“…far from domestic in the traditional sense of the word”

 

“you’ve been successful in all areas but have struggled in relationships, you don’t trust easily”

 

“Recently, there has been someone, you’ve known for a while, you feel safe with him. He loves you very much, he will affect your life for years to come. Romantically though, it is not meant to be”

 

This could be completely coincidental, but there has been someone the last while. Let’s call him Jake. We’ve known each other a few years, always gotten along. We’ve a very similar sense of humour and he’s the only person I’ve met that can keep up with me… I won’t bore you with the details but there is a mutual attraction.

As they say, timing is everything and the timing for Jake and I isn’t right, and I don’t think it will ever be. Hearing that ‘romantically, it isn’t meant to be’ has actually helped me in a weird way. Accepting that something isn’t meant to be is hard, especially when you appear to be so compatible. At least I think we are but, Jake likes his life as it is and I am… well me. For this one I am not worth the risk.

 

I do believe that Jake is a soul mate for me in the ‘Eat.Pray.Love’ sense of the word. I have learnt a lot about myself, what I want and expect from others, that there are others out there that I can be honest with and vulnerable and they won’t use it against me or use it to make me feel stupid. I really could have fallen in love with him. Alas, it is not to be and the numerology reading, whether you believe it or not, has calmed me and made me see that. Some may find that crazy (him included, in fact I know he’ll think it a lot of nonsense) but hey, it takes allsorts.

 

Though Jake and I will never happen romantically, I hope we always stay in each others lives; I have the utmost love and respect for him. He’ll always be my favorite ‘almost’.

 

Oh and Jake, you sarcastic ray of sunshine, thanks.

 

 

Xoxo

 

Micks

 

You’re not scared of climbing mountains, you’re scared that you can’t make them move.

“Making a big life change is scary, but you know what is scarier?

REGRET”

 

 

This quote is so applicable to my life right now it is freaky. As my family and friends know I am currently working my notice period for a company I have worked at for (on and off) 10 years. I’ve worked my way up from a 6hr Sunday girl to store manager. The company has supported me completely throughout this time, providing me with a part-time job during university, a career after. They have allowed me to take sabbaticals to go off, explore the world and live my best life whilst providing me with a safety net to return to when I’m done. It’s been my comfort blanket for the last 10 years. On August 13th 2016 that comfort blanket is gone for good.

 

A change gon’ come.

 

Now, considering I was the one who made the decision to leave you’d think I’d be more excited about the new challenges that lay ahead with my new job and I am, to an extent, but I am also shitting my pants a bit. Why? Exactly as that quote says – change is a scary thing. I know my job I have now (after 10 years I’d be worried if I didn’t), I still love the company – I believe in where it is going and its vision for the future. Whilst it is not perfect (no business is), it’s determined to be the best in its category. I adore the (majority of) customers that come through the door; in fact I properly enjoy talking with the kids more than the adults! My favourite customers I have seen through numerous children, they have come back to see me time and again – one customer even followed me from my previous store to the one I’m currently in.

To think that will be gone is both sad and scary.

Some of my close friends have had the drama of me officially making this decision – when I handed my notice in my regional manager made it VERY hard to leave – so hard in fact that when I hung up the phone to him I promptly burst into tears through both confusion and because he was very nice to me and I wasn’t expecting it. I then called Den and Michelle straight away and they spoke whilst I cried a bit more, I then crazy messaged my friend in Weymouth shouting about needing her life coach advice (She’s yet to steer me wrong) and then starting harassing two people who’s opinions I value a lot through the mediums of Whatsapp and Snapchat. Ultimately the decision was mine and I decided to go ahead with the resignation because I have bigger, long-term plans and could never live with the ‘what if’ that I know I would end up with if I stayed.

 

Over the last week I have almost called my RM and retracted my notice on a couple of occasions because change is scary. Because I worry that I’ve made the wrong choice and the grass isn’t really greener. Because I worry about the people I’m leaving behind and that I’m somehow letting them down. Especially when you’re settled, change is scary. When you constantly worry about what could go wrong, and what if you feel that you are not strong enough, independent enough or lovable enough to succeed in getting through an important change?

Change is scary.

 

Now, some people embrace change as though it is nothing (I hate and admire those people in equal amounts), a smart man said once “change is the only constant thing in life” and we need to learn to embrace it, little by little to challenge ourselves and grow. If I was to let it, my imagination could come up with a million different worse case scenarios and terrible things that could happen as a result of this change I’m making. Thinking about it, if I can imagine the worst thing, why can’t imagine the best? It can only go one of two ways, right? Things can get better, or they can get worst. 50/50 chance of both.

 “the key to change…is to let go of fear” (Roseanne Cash)

and right now that is what I am deciding to do (at least for the next 5 minutes).

 

 

Yes, the change I am making is scary. Yes, it could go wrong. Right now though, I am deciding to take a leap of faith and trust in the magic of new beginnings. I have to live my life for me, and no one else.

Besides, who knows, give it a year and I might be back where I started, but at least I’ll be able to say I tried.

Xoxo

Micks

P.S to all my work favourites… you’ll never really get rid of me. Like a fly to shit I’ll always be hovering around J Love yous xxx

26 lessons for 26

Happy Birthday to my blog! It’s officially 2 years old (at least it will be in a couple of weeks) How weird is that? 2 years ago when I was on me holidays in Italy and one of my favourite people in the world convinced to put my musings out in the world and 2 years later here we are. If I am not mistaken I do believe some of you enjoy them too.

Although my blog is still very much in its infancy – the terrible twos start now – I am, shall we say, no longer in my infancy. Be kind of weird if I was, wouldn’t it. A two year old having these kinds of thoughts, tres strange. I am, gulp, now a couple weeks away from being classed as in my late twenties. It’s a long road to acceptance but my therapist assures me that I’ll get there, I just need to stay drunk and I’ll be fine. There is a theme in my writing, very soul search-y (search-y is a real word, promise) because I’m always tryna figure life out, and I like to share my lessons learnt with y’all in the hopes you learn from me and maybe just feel a little bit better about yourselves and any decisions you may have made.

So off the back of that, here are my 26 lessons for 26.

  1. Disney really is the happiest place on earth

 

No surprises here. I’ve been twice in one year. I’d move in tomorrow if they’d let me. I fell in love with the guy who played Peter Pan on my first trip. If only for the reason that, after asking me about my necklace and me saying I stole it (it was my name necklace, and no I don’t know why I said it and yes my friends still rip me for it now) he didn’t bat an eyelid and asked if I stole from Skull Rock – he encouraged the crazy. What a guy. You cannot go to Disney and not get swept up in the fairytale. Life is rosy for your stay. Even if it’s only one day.

 

 

 

  1. Love is rarely the fairytale you think it will be, it’s time to take off the Disney tinted glasses

 

This is something someone said to me a couple of months ago and it’s really stuck with me. I think it’s because I’d never imagined that this particular person, who knows me pretty well, would ever get me confused with someone who thinks like this. I know love isn’t perfect; nothing is, but love especially. For as long as I can remember I have never been the type of girl to dream about dressing in white. I admire those that get married and fall in love with no inhibitions – I think they are brave above everything. They are brave enough to take a chance on something that isn’t guaranteed; because we all know that happily ever after isn’t a thing. They are brave enough to leap, and chose someone else above everyone else, knowing how messy it could end up. Despite it being legally binding be it through marriage or living together and buying a property together. There is no get out of jail free card with either of those. I guess they just figure they’d rather argue with their SO than be making love with anyone else. I don’t feel that’s Disney tinted glasses – I feel that’s real life.

 

 

  1. The right people will encourage your crazy and not make you feel like you have to hide it

 

The older I get the more comfortable I get in my own skin. I am told I’m odd at least once a day, if not more. You know what, I’m ok with that. I am a bit odd (aren’t we all?) and I’m learning to surround myself with the people I can be 100% around at all times, rather than being that awkward quiet girl in the corner who doesn’t really speak. The right people, the forever people, will encourage the crazy, not make you feel like you have to hide it. My best friends know that I will randomly burst into song and dance in the middle of the street, they know that I talk to myself more than the average person, they know that I will randomly switch up my accent in the middle of a conversation but rather than pull a face and tell me to stop, they join in.

 

  1. Trust your gut, it knows more than you think

 

Let me just put this out there. YOUR GUT INSTINCT IS A REAL THING. Sure, sometimes it’s wrong but 95% of the time my gut instinct has steered me right. On the occasions I haven’t followed my gut and it’s then been right I spend a ridiculous amount of time saying to myself and other people and even random strangers on the train “I knew it, I knew it, why didn’t I listen to myself? WHY GOD, WHY” Follow your gut, it knows more than you think.

 

  1. Don’t waste people’s times or emotions.

 

Period. Don’t lead people on. Don’t waste their time. Don’t let them get in so deep that it hurts to say goodbye – that it hurts to pull away. Don’t tell people your thoughts about ‘could be’ unless you are sure, or you’re willing to take a risk and change your life. If you like your life as it is, then just don’t say anything. Keep schtum. It’s kinder to everyone.

 

 

  1. I can be a bit of an askhole.

 

Hands up if you’re an askhole… don’t lie there are more than that. An askhole is someone who asks for your advice and then does the opposite anyway. I can be that person. For that I am sorry. I’ll try harder.

 

  1. You can’t plan everything – life will throw forks in your road. It’s up to you which road you take

 

The best-laid plans rarely go without bumps and forks in the road. Life changes too quickly for you to be able to plan every small detail (no matter how much we’d like to). Life can flip 180 in a matter of hours, let alone days. All you can do is have an end game and try and be flexible in how you achieve it. If you really want it, you’ll get there. It just might not be in the way you’d originally thought you’d get there.

 

 

  1. It’s ok to postpone plans for yourself. It’s not ok to postpone plans for other people, especially boys.

 

Something my life coach said to me this year. Just thought I’d share because I think it’s great advice. You can’t wait around for people to get their shit together.

Do you.

 

  1. Sometimes you have to take life by the horns, stand up and say ‘this is what I want’

 

No one got what he or she wanted by sitting there quietly and praying for it. You gotta stand up and be counted. You need to put the work in; you need to put yourself out there. Of course there is every chance you might not get what you want, but at least you tried. There’ll be no regret and no what if’s. Just an ‘I was bold and honest and did what I could to make it happen’. Definitely better than a ‘what if’

 

  1. If someone wants to be with you, they will. End of story.

 

At this point half my friends are happily in relationships, they other half are single. The one thing the partnered up people always say to us singletons – if someone wants to be with you, they will be. It’s really that simple. Don’t read into the messages, don’t ask how high when he says jump – it’s a two-way street. The effort can’t be one sided, it can’t be one person calling and texting all the time; it can’t be one person always going to see the other. It needs to be a balance. If it’s not, they just aren’t interested. Simples.

 

 

 

  1. How people treat you says more about them than it does you

 

If someone treats you like shit and you feel you’ve done nothing to deserve it (most of us have been there) please believe me when I say it has more to do with them than you. It’s not a hidden fact that people tread on those that they are jealous of or feel threatened by. Try not to let their insecurity in themself get to you. Just smile and walk away. Then call them a twat under your breath because, hey, we’re not perfect and sometimes it just pisses you off.

 

 

  1. People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

 

Once you’ve figured out which they are, you’ll know what to do.

 

 

“When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realise is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life”

 

They worded it better than I ever could.

 

  1. Don’t be so hard on yourself – everyone else is winging it too

 

Big ting for me, I judge myself very harshly. Social media makes it so easy to be hard on yourself but don’t judge your hustle against someone else’s highlight reel. Everyone else is making it up too. No one is perfect, we all fuck up from time to time, and we all get things wrong. We are all human. Just because they look like they got their shit together, doesn’t mean they do. We all edit our lives and ourselves. Remember that.

 

  1. Honesty isn’t always the best policy

 

Sometimes a little white lie to protect feelings is a good thing. Trust me.

 

 

  1. Going out on a Saturday night is rarely as fun as it seems.

 

I enjoy a good night out as much as the next person but being honest, most nights I’d rather go for dinner and drinks and then go home. There is no shame in being in bed by midnight on a Saturday. My bed is one of my favourite places to be.

 

  1. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.

 

Just because your life expectancy should be 85 doesn’t mean it will be. It’s the average for a reason. I recently lost someone who I thought of as family and when I got that phone call to tell me he had died, the thing that kept running through my head was “he had so much life left to live, how is this possible. He was only 28”. I know it’s easy to say but don’t take your life for granted, don’t just exist. Live.

 

  1. The outdoors is a great place to be.

 

I’ve been told that I live in the country – now I don’t believe I do (there are no tractors for a start) but I do know there are some banging parks and gardens to visit in close proximity to where I live. Being outdoors is one of my simplest pleasures. I enjoy a good walk around the park, or the fields at the back of my house. By myself or with others. I’m not fussy. Earth is pretty stunning when you actually take time to look at it and appreciate it.

 

 

  1. Becoming friends with my parents and sisters is one of the best things I have ever done.

 

 

Hand on heart this is the truth. Maybe I am one of the lucky ones who actually enjoy spending time with their immediate family? All I know is that when I was younger it could sometimes be a bit of a chore spending time with them, it was a case of having to spend time with them, not wanting to. Now, I will happily choose to spend the day with them because I actually like them for the people they are. Some people that I speak to seem to view their families in a different way to their friends – they almost expect their mums, dads and siblings to never make mistakes and think the same way they do and never challenge them and then when they fall short of their high expectations they seem surprised. My parents and siblings are only human and sure they still do me crust in from time to time but I know that, even if they weren’t family, I’d still choose them. Aren’t they lucky?

 

  1. Just because I’m not considered a girly-girl or particularly feminine doesn’t make me any less of a lady.

 

Beauty standards are bullshit. You don’t need to conform to the stereotype that all women have to wear dresses and high heels 24-7, you don’t have to have perfect make up. I am more of a jean and t-shirt kinda girl and it’s a miracle if I manage to leave the house having brushed my hair most days. If you’re into the highly made up look, go for it. If you’d rather sleep an extra 20 minutes and go out the house bare faced, rock it. The only beauty standards we conform to are the ones we put on ourselves. I have a vagina and that is enough to make me a lady.

 

  1. I’m too lazy to be crazy

 

 

Just what it says. I’m too lazy to be crazy. I don’t have time for the bullshit drama that so many people get caught up in. Thanks to the LadyGang for bringing this phrase into my life.

 

 

  1. The world doesn’t owe you a thing

I’m sure I’ve said this before and I’m sure I’ll say it again. The world owes you nada. It was here first. If you want something, if you want a change only you can make it happen. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

 

  1. It’s ok to spoil yourself.

 

Sometimes the world is shit and you just need an extra glass of vino at dinner. Some days are draining and you need to eat the chocolate bar. Sometimes you get your heart broken and need to splash out on that girls holiday or that stupidly expensive pair of shoes. It’s ok to spoil yourself once in a while, you work hard for it and sometimes we all need that instant gratification to turn a crappy day into a not so crappy one.

 

  1. Take a lot of pictures.

 

One day you’ll be glad you did.

 

 

  1. First impressions are not always right

I can’t tell you the amount of times that I have met someone and not been sure on them or not been fussed by them. Second impressions are a much better I think. A lot of people are shy or awkward the first time they meet people – the second everything is a bit more comfortable.

The best example I have of this is when I first met one of my best friends. I was actually interviewing her for a job and my first impression was too shy, too quiet to work where we are. My boss at the time told me to give her a chance, which I did, and she turned out to be one of the best workers I ever hired. We have both since moved on from the place we worked together but have become best pals. She’s a genuine little flower and I love her. Also, she’s definitely not quiet or shy. In fact most days I can’t get her to shut up!

 

 

  1. Don’t wash your hair everyday.

It’s not good for your hair. Your hair will look and feel better if you leave it a little longer. It’s also easier to style when it’s not so clean.

  1. Do nice things for strangers

The last one on the list but possibly the most important; it costs nothing to be nice. Give that pregnant lady your seat on the train, help that old dude cross the street, ask that person in the coffee shop that is crying if they are ok. Talk someone through his or her panic attack; distract someone who hates flying on your flight. What do you have to lose? Nothing. The person on the receiving end leaves with a smile and their faith in humanity restored and you feel all the tingles from bringing someone a small drop of happiness. Win-win, bro. Win – win.

So there we have it.

26 lessons for 26.

I’m out.

xoxo

Micks

Note to self: 16 things to remember in 2016.

The people that truly love you will lift you up

I can’t tell you this enough. Too often I see myself and those around me accepting ‘love’ with conditions; love whereby someone always has the upper hand, love where there is always someone who is left feeling small as a result of conversations or situations that they have. Those who truly love us know we are not perfect, they accept that we aren’t yet treat us as though we are. They don’t judge you. They aren’t only interested in you when you’re vulnerable. They aren’t only interested when they have a spare 5 minutes in their day and want some attention. They don’t put down your choice of outfit, vocabulary, job or interests. They know that they are all things that make you, you. They celebrate you, they support you, they laugh at your silliness, they find your passion for all things ‘cute’. They help you see the best in yourself and see you in a way you could never see yourself. They lift you up.

You really do deserve to be someone’s priority and not an option

In some things, like job interviews, you are an option. That is ok. In your personal life though? Not cool. What is even worse is that we allow people to treat us like that. Now, I’m not saying I’m the most important person in the world, and neither are you (sorry to burst that bubble) but when it comes to personal relationships, both romantic and platonic, you deserve to be treated as a priority. Not as the fall back. If you allow people to treat you as an option once, you will always be an option to them. That fall back they can rely on when their ego is bruised and they need someone to make themselves feel better; love is the ego’s best friend and worst enemy. You will feel great that you have made them feel better about themselves, and maybe even think that you are an alright person because of it; until they run off again back to their priority (who is most likely the reason they felt shit to start with) and you are left feeling insignificant again. Don’t let people treat you like this. It will be hard to stop, but it is necessary. Remember, “we accept the love we think we deserve” . We all deserve to be the priority.

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You can do it

2016, for me, is going to be challenging. I already know that. The goals and targets I have set for myself are going to take a lot of dedication, a lot of sacrifice and, no doubt, a lot of tears. However, I know I can do it. I am in the best mental and physical state I have been since my pre-uni days, I can safely say I have the best group of cheerleaders around that I have ever had that are happy to pick me up if I stumble and fall, or just to simply sit me down and tell me to find my balls and remind me why I’m doing what I’m doing. Remember: YOU CAN DO IT. Everyone knows you can, you’re your own worst enemy. Stop with that. Douche.

Only you can make your dreams come true

Similar to the above note; it’s all down to you. There is no white knight in shining armour who’s gonna come and save the day. There is no Genie in a lamp who is going to give you three magic wishes, no Fairy Godmother who is going to Bibbity Bobbity Boo all your dreams into reality. You will have to make it work. Pool your resources “Teamwork makes the dream work”. There will be days when it doesn’t seem worth it, when you want to give up, when you wish the aforementioned Genie, Fairy Godmother and K.I.S.A were real. But (and as a Disney obsessive it pains me to write this) THEY ARE NOT REAL. Only you can make your dreams come true. What better time to start than now?

Everything really does happen for a reason

Fate. Destiny. Whatever you want to call it or dress it up as. Everything does happen for a reason, I truly believe that. Everything decision that you have gone through, everywhere you have been, the people you have met… it has all been for a reason. It has lead you to where you need to be right now, to take you to where you’re meant to go. It’s given you experiences and lessons that do you right in the future. No doubt some will think it is wishy-washy nonsense, but I believe it is true. It will all make sense one day.

 

It’s ok to not know the reasons right now; it will all make sense in the end

Life is confusing. I know it. You know it. Joe Bloggs at number 6 knows it. Things will happen that will shake your faith, make you question the point of things and make you want to crawl into bed, assume the foetal position, cry and not come back into the real world for a week or 52. As previously stated, everything does happen for a reason. Accept that sometimes we don’t find the answers straight away. The sooner you accept it the easier it will be for you to cope with change and the inevitable bumps in the road that life likes to dot our journeys with along the way. The answers will come in time.

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No one else will put your health and happiness first, so you need to

 

You gotsa look after number 1! The sooner you start taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically, the better you will feel. No one else will put it first, so you have to. If something (or someone) is bad for your health, get rid or cut back. If you’re not happy, identify what is causing the unhappiness and make moves to fix it. It won’t be an overnight win, but you’ll thank yourself for it this time next year.

“Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life”

 

Work is not the be all and end all. Some people were meant to change the world with their jobs and roles. Some people aren’t, because someone else doesn’t see it as life changing or important, doesn’t mean it isn’t. If you have a passion for something, follow it. Live it. Everyone takes work home with them sometimes, but just remember that you need time to relax and recharge. Work is not the be all and end all. It will still be there in the morning.

Go one place you’ve never been before

There is so much of this planet you haven’t seen yet. So go see it. It doesn’t have to be abroad. It can be another part of this tiny island. Just go. See the world from a different perspective. Experience new things. Embrace a new culture and traditions. Live life; make memories.

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Give back in anyway you feel you can

You might not have the time to visit the soup kitchen. You might not have the funds to donate regularly to charity. We can all give back in our own way, buy that homeless guy a hot drink one time, give the old lady jingling her charity bucket the coppers in the bottom of your bag. Spend time with someone who needs it most, giving back doesn’t always have to be to charity. It can be to those that mean the most to you in the world. Your best friend just had a baby? Offer to go around and look after little one for an hour so she can get a power nap in. Your mum’s feeling unwell? Make her dinner, offer to do the shopping for her. It is the little things after all 🙂

Have courage

“If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try”

That’s all I’m sayin’

Be kind

To yourself and to others; everyone has their shit they’re going through, they don’t need you being an asshole to add to their shit. Remember, a smile goes a long way.

 

Be the best version of yourself

Truly happy people become that way by being the best versions of themselves, not on the outside but on the inside. They work on their true self, not the persona they portray to the world. Stop with the negative self talk – you are not stupid, ugly, fat etc etc, there is someone out there who wishes they were more like you. Stop judging and criticising other people – the comments you make are more a reflection of your own issues and insecurities. Stop procrastinating, stop doing things to please other people, stop being scared or failure and, even more so, stop being scared of success! Maybe you can have it all.

Listen more

 

Many wise people before have noted the importance of listening more than talking. You learn more, about yourself and others. You DO more. The less time you talk the more time you have to actually ‘do’ things. For most people, work is the best example of this. I know lots of people who have had to stay late to get work done because they spent that 15 minutes by the coffee machine talking instead of sending that email, or proof reading that document. Listen more.

 

 

Embrace your crazy

 

Everyone is a little crazy. The lucky ones are a lot crazy. Embrace it. It makes you, you. There is no one like you out there, if you suppress that crazy, you suppress yourself and that leads to whoooole other load of things. Embrace the crazy. Life is more fun that way.

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Have fun

 

There will never be another 2016. Let’s make it the best year yet. HAVE FUN.

2016, come at me, bitch.

Wishing you all a very merry New Year.

Xoxo

Michaela