I’m not a bitch, I’m the boss.

 

First I need to do some background checks. The LadyGang podcast. For those that don’t know The LadyGang is a super fun weekly podcast (Tuesdays are the new Fridays, girls) hosted by Becca Tobin of Glee fame and fash blogger extraordinaire, Jac Vanek the ultimate scene queen and owner of a rad clothing line and my lifespiration Keltie Knight, former Rockette and entertainment journo. Ladies, imagine Sunday brunch with your gal pals talking, laughing, drinking…that is this podcast. Every week they have different guests –mostly fierce females because…LADYgang….duh… the official description is “LadyGang” is a celebrity driven podcast from the minds and mouths of Keltie Knight, Jac Vanek, and Becca Tobin where no subject is off limits. Inspired by their bottomless mimosa brunches, each week, a celebrity guest joins the girls for a raw, honest, and hilarious look at what life is really like under the bright lights of Hollywood.

This weeks guests were the two Foster sisters who created the VH1 show Barely Famous, one of the questions they were asked was around their place as females bosses in Hollywood which is generally dominated by males in power.

This is what they said…

“Whats very hard for women is knowing how to be say what you want without feeling like you’re acting like a bitch. And I have fully accepted acting like a bitch if that’s how it comes across. I think you have to have confidence in your choices, it’s very easy to be talked out of things and I do believe that men will be condescending and by the way women are condescending too….

 

“I don’t need you more than you need me, I am willing to lose what I have, I’d rather do that than stand behind something I don’t believe in.”

 

If a man goes nuclear its fine but if I go nuclear it’s “is it that time of the month, she’s crazy! She’s difficult… but when a guy does it he’s just being a boss.”

 

“As women we learn to justify ourselves and I think as women as soon as you justify yourself you’re asking people to treat you like a child… don’t justify you living.”

 

As someone who has worked herself up from being a minion to being a boss, a female one at that, this is a subject that piques my interest. For various reasons but mainly because it is true and it is something I have experienced more than once whilst I have been management. You should also bear in mind that I work in a very female dominated company – the majority of my fellow store managers are female, the higher up you go the more penises you encounter. I cannot speak for my colleagues when I say I have encountered this, I guess you could call it sexism, but it is something that I have been subject to – especially by customers.

 

I have been spoken down to more times than I care to remember, I get I’m 5’1 and most people have to talk down to me because most people are taller, but being spoken down to because you are a woman, and a short one at that, is something that is a very real thing for me. Or at least it used to be.

 

Over the years, like the Foster sisters suggest, I have stopped trying to justify my existence and stopped trying to, almost apologise, for doing my job. If you do something wrong, I will tell you off. Not because I have my period, because I am the boss. I will tell that customer no, not be because I am hormonal but because I am the boss. I will step in and take over when someone is verbally abusing a member of my team, because I am the boss. Just because I have a vagina it doesn’t mean I am hormonal. It doesn’t make me a bitch. It means I’m doing what I am being paid to do. I am being the boss.

 

If I am being honest, being hobbit sized probably doesn’t help. I do not know what my fellow little ladies have found, but, certainly working in retail, I have found that men, not all men let me make clear, but rather a certain type of man, will try to use their height and general masculinity to try to intimidate me into doing what they want. They will become aggressive, swear, hit things, shout… all to try to make me cower in the corner saying yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir. Take what you want, do what you want just please don’t make poor, weak little me cry. Well I’m sorry dudes, all this does is two things 1. Piss me off more and make me less likely to go out my way to help you 2. Make me think you’re trying to make up for something else. You need to show your masculinity to the world in that kind of way? You’re insecure, bro.

 

If you google ‘Female Boss’ it makes my heart drop.

“Are female bosses really that awful?”

“Why men and women prefer male bosses?’

“Don’t work for a female boss”

Just a few of the headlines you’ll find when you google ‘female boss’.

Really? Like, really, really? Are we that bad? I don’t get it. The female bosses I have worked for, which has been a lot over the last decade, have not been bad. Some of them did leave me wondering how they actually got the job in the first place, but none of them have made my life hell. If anything it was those women that empowered me and taught me all I know. It was women that gave me the opportunity to progress and coached me into being the manager I am now. Of course I’m not perfect at my job, but I work at it.

 I could sit here a list ways in which you could get ahead in the workplace, or lessons I have learnt being a female boss but there are enough articles on the web that can do that for you. All I will say is this… the Foster sisters hit the nail on the head

STOP JUSTIFYING YOURSELF.

Erase the word ‘just’ from your vocab. You’re not ‘just’ checking up on the progress on the report that’s due. You’re checking up on it. Cut the fluff. You’re doing your job. It’s business,it’s not personal; if anyone takes offence to that or calls you a bitch for that, screw’em. I mean, still be polite, manners are free, but don’t apologise for doing your job. Your employee isn’t going to be the one sat in a room with your boss explaining why that shipment didn’t come in on time, or that deadline was missed. You will be. So make sure no one puts you in that position. You’re in control.

Own it.

Work it.

Get it done.

Preferably in a fabulous pair of shoes.

Xoxo Micks

Subscribe to the LadyGang podcast for a does of awesome every Tuesday on itunes or listen on Podcast one. You can also sign up to their mailing list at http://www.theladygang.com

Shop Jac’s site: http://www.jacvanek.com

Follow Becca’s blog: http://www.junemoss.com

Follow Keltie on Instagram because she’ll love you forever @keltieknight

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International Women’s Day

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY

 

 

Yes, that is a thing. Didn’t you know? (I didn’t either I found out last week; I’m not sure if that makes me less of a woman but hey ho) What is it all about I hear you ask?

 

It is a “global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. The day also marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity”

 

There have been events all over our little globe celebrating Women and what they have achieved – there was a Gala lunch in Hong Kong with an “inspirational keynote address” by Jackson Katz, a conference in Aberdeen looking at social media, digital comms and education and how these are central to career development for ladies. In Ontario there was a day celebrating Women in Aviation and encouraging a new generation of girls to become pilots. Today there is an art exhibition in Gibraltar showcasing some of the best art by local female artists whilst also raising money for the local charity “women in need”. Of course London too has got in on the act: the WOW –Women of the World festival is one of the various things happening in the capital and the one that I am totes gutted I missed out on; it looks super rad. Check it

 

 

Now dudes, don’t hate – this isn’t about ignoring the contribution you’ve made to the world; it’s about noticing what women have done to make the world a better place in all areas for everyone. It is about promoting equal rights, for ALL. And you only have to look at the news to see that there is not equal rights for all; and obviously this isn’t restricted to different genders let’s be honest. It’s best that I don’t get started on that though because otherwise this post will never end.

 

So, on this International Women’s day I am celebrating some of the fabulous women in the world and in my life that deserve all the praises, all of the days.

 

  1. My mum

 

She’s an absolute bloody legend. One of my favourite people in the world, who has, as most people have, had a lot of shit to handle throughout her life and is still smiling; I laugh with her more than anyone else. Like most girls, when I was younger I hated her getting all up in my business but now, I go to her with my business. My mum taught me to laugh at myself, knocks me down a peg or two when I get too big for my size 4 boots, and she comes out with some of the best one liners you’ll ever hear. She’s just super fucking rad, Mazza, I love you.

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Mazza and I doing what we do best. Laughing

 

  1. Annie Clark and Andrea Pino

 

These are two ladies you may not have heard of but they should be. These two girls have taken on the biggest colleges across America to ensure they handle the reporting of sexual assaults on campus in the correct way, the right way. They filed a Title IX complaint against their college UNC (University of North Carolina) after they were both raped during their first weeks at the university and the university administrators failed to acknowledge the assaults and were, to put it lightly, unsympathetic to the girls after their attacks. They have started a group called “End Rape on Campus” to bring together survivors of assault from colleges all over the USA to support each other and challenge schools and challenge the law to recognise the severity of this problem. Visit http://endrapeoncampus.org/ for more info. You can also learn more about their stories by watching the documentary ‘The Hunting Ground’.

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Andrea and Annie

 

  1. Rachel McCarthy

 

This girl. My skin and blister, sister from another mister; I’m sad I went 20 years without knowing her. I just simply love her; I’m struggling to put into words how much she makes me love life. I admire Rach for so many things; her attitude, her manners, her sense of humour – but nothing more than for being the amazing mum she is to my favourite guy, Oscar. He is turning into the funniest, kindest most heartbreakingly handsome boy in the world (I may be slightly biased but I’m sure you’d all agree if you spent 5 minutes with him). She is doing motherhood right, if I ever have children I will be happy to be half the mother to my kids that she is to Oscar.

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Rach and I at the funfair in Valencia

 

  1. My favourite LadyGang aka Keltie Knight, Becca Tobin and Jac Vanek

 

Every Tuesday a new podcast is automatically downloaded onto my phone. On my way home I laugh so hard I get odd looks on the train – these ladies are making it cool to be real. They jibber jabber for 45 minutes a week over mimosas and sweet treats and make you wish you were at brunch with your best gal pals. They talk about anything and everything. Life in Hollywood (Keltie works in TV, Becca is an actress), business (Jac has a self made business selling super cool things – check it here) and the struggles of womanhood in general. Most weeks includes a celebrity guest but my favourite parts of the podcast are ‘Good week, Bad week’ – where they say the best and worst thing that has happened to them the past week – I’m still laughing at Becca talking about her sharting in her yoga pants – and #AsktheLadyGang which is where listeners send in their questions for the girls to answer; this is the part where I sit there and think about the advice I would give too. It’s just a super cool podcast, where 3 women are celebrating other women and life and friendship. The best part is you can get it on iTunes for free! Go subscribe; you won’t regret it!

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L to R: Becca Tobin, Keltie Knight and Jac Vanek

 

  1. Diane Alice Lorraine Dalby

 

The woman that gave me my first job and the MC bug; even though she jumped ship 7 years ago to run her own business with her hubby. She turned the quiet, naïve 17 year old Michaela into the loudmouth Micks that you’ve all come to know and tolerate. This year will be 10 years since we first met and I would not be without her, ever. Which is kind of funny because I actually didn’t like her when I first met her; something we laugh at now. I thought she was a bit of an ass back then, she thinks I’m a bit of an ass now; the tables have turned. My life coach. My confidante. My cheerleader. My friend. Di seems to see something in me that I don’t see in myself, something half decent. One of my favourite people in the world.

P.S if any of you ever find yourself in Weymouth go and stay at their guest house; it’s bloomin’ lovely. To check it out, click here.

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We have so much fun together. Clearly.

 

  1. Emma Watson

 

You just need to watch this video to know why she is on my list.

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  1. Audy

 

Aud and I have had a rough ride this last year, things have been strained – something which we both admit. I am pleased to say we seem to be back on track now. If you know Audrey you know why she is on this list. This woman is the true definition of STRENGTH. In the decade I have know her she has been through more shit than most people go through in a lifetime –it isn’t my business to tell everyone – but I’m just going on public record to say that, Aud, I’m in awe of your strength. Knocked down 7 times, you stand up 8, still kicking and screaming. After everything you still have a heart of gold, you feel so much, so deeply (even though you pretend you don’t) and it is incredible to see. I will never forget that you came around the day my Grandad passed away just to drop off flowers, offer condolences and bring me a little penguin gift to ‘make me laugh’. You really are one in a million please don’t ever change.

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Micks and Maud at Becky’s wedding 

 

 

  1. Every woman in my life

 

I am quite choosy about who I give my time to now, if you’re one of my best friends or closest pals you are there because I love you. You all show me unconditional support and love, and are doing life right mixed with the right amount of passion and crazy and you all inspire me everyday. So thank you for choosing me as a friend, for making me feel loved, understood and enjoying – and sometimes encouraging – the crazy. You all rock. I feel I will have forgotten people in the list below but please, charge it to my head and not my heart.

 

Melanie (free hair cuts are the best hair cuts) Melissa (DANGER) Sophie (the little sister I never had) Jade (sloppy) Leanna (let’s get the chicken nugget tattoo) Denise (Denise, Denise, I talk about her all the time!) Huma (Miele) Amy (my favourite punch bag) Byng (there would be so much less laughter in my life without you) Steph (superhero in nurse form, I’m so proud of you), Charlie (my sunshine and showers, thank you for the T-Swift sing-alongs), Auntie Pol (Ignore Adam, you have a great singing voice), Becki (Norman Price, miss ya), Carol Lorraine (HI CAROL), Nicolias (My favourite friends quoting dino) RJ (my best posh bird, how’s Giles?), Agy (I still have bottom envy), Kelv (no way, no way, manamanaaa) The cousins that I haven’t seen in sooooo long Katie, Lorna & Amy (Kate, we really were Grandad’s faves)… Lisa (Linda, my Bostonian mother), Momma Sophs (I really like it), Philomena (I LOVE YOU)…this list is endless.

 

Today, and everyday, I celebrate you and am grateful for you and to have you by my side as I try to make my way in this big old world.

 

Here’s to the ladies.

 

Xoxo

 

Micks

 

 

 

 

Useful links

 

http://www.internationalwomensday.com/

 

http://endrapeoncampus.org/

 

http://www.heforshe.org/en

 

https://www.jacvanek.com/

 

http://theladygang.com/

 

http://croftonguesthouse.co.uk/