moments to memories

I am fully in the Christmas spirit now, I had my first Christmas party yesterday and I’m feeling festive. I surprisingly did not wake up with a raging hangover but felt pretty fresh.

The last week or so I have been thinking about my favourite memories I’ve made in the last year. I have, overall, had a crackin’ 2017. Sure, there have been some terrible, terrible lows but I can look back on the year and see where the good times are and smile.

Here are some of my highlights from 2017

Dis-day 2018.

you cannot beat starting the new year off with Mickey and co.

 

 

LA KINGS Game

i finally, finally, finally found myself out in LA in season to go to an ice hockey game. it did not disappoint.

Screen Shot 2017-11-29 at 15.08.23

 

Arlo was born.

my adorable second godson/nephew who isn’t my nephew but is was born. he is a dream.

 

Irish adventures.

one of my favourite countries in the world, the sexiest accent in the world and some of my favourite people in the world. i can never go wrong with a trip there.

going back to my old job.

the best decision i have made this year. swear down.

 

star wars day

friends and star wars. i don’t think i really need to add anything else to that, do i?

 

 

Nick Lashaway day

the best day with my American familia, celebrating one of the best! on a day that could have been so so so sad we all managed to smile and laugh through the tears at memories of Nick and i certainly learnt more about him on that day. the strength his whole family have shown, none more than his mama, is incredible. it was a beautiful day filled with love and i am so privileged to have been a part of it.

 

 

london zoo 

my two favourite chicken nuggets took me to the zoo for my birthday because they know i love that shit. i love spending time with them playas. couple of the year.

Passenger concert

the first of my two favourite memories based at Kew Gardens this year. i have loved Passenger and his music for a wee while and i was finally able to go to see him live. in typical british summer style it was absolutely pissing down but as soon as he hit the stage i forgot about the rain. what a gem.

Brighton 

in the summer my best pal, my 2 nephews and i spent the day on brighton beach watching The Lion King. hashtag winning

Kew gardens 2

i spent  a lovely day here in the summer with my pals amy and byng. we went to see byngs younger brother in The Wind and the Willows. the sun shone, the play was super cute and we laughed. loads. i really have great friends.

Screen Shot 2017-11-29 at 15.09.26.png

 

annie

tomorrow, tomorrow, i love yaaaa, tomorrow! for my sisters birthday we all went to see annie in the west end. miranda hart played miss hannigan – she was a scream. i enjoyed it so much – i normally cry at the theatre and this was no exception. a great day.

Screen Shot 2017-11-29 at 15.15.33

 

NYC

back to the concrete jungle where dreams are made of to celebrate momma sophs birthday. we hung out with old friends, julie came down from boston for a day, it was magicallll.

 

montrose days

i always enjoy trips back to montrose and this time was no different. whilst mark and i were driving around montrose singing along to some pop song, i had a moment where i just thought, yeah. i like my life.

mj

this time last year my nephew and i really weren’t pals. this year we made friends. he’s just a wee dote. i love him.

 

xmas party

the last minute entry was yesterday’s xmas party. i bloody love my work collegues, i bloody love my boss. i just bloody love my job. don’t get me wrong it does my feckin’ head in from time to time but i have great people around me to lean on if it gets too much.

img_1107.png

 

2017 isn’t quite done yet, i know but it was fun thinking back over the last year and what i’ve got up to. some is here, some isn’t. with a busy december coming up i’m sure i will have more memories to add to these by the end of the month.

i hope you have a december filled with festive cheer.

until next week,

M xoxo

 

 

 

 

 

28 things you might not know about me. 

Where I am: sitting in Starbucks, Pumpkin Spice latte in a mug next to me (I’m so basic sometimes, it hurts)

Listening to: Mariah Carey (it’s really hard to not start singing at the top of my voice)

so, update time – after my post about World Mental Health Day i received a lot of messages of support from friends both near and far and so i’d just like to say thank you for that, i really appreciate that you all took the time out of your lives to reach out. thank you to those of you that shared your stories with me, it really is overwhelming just how many of us are touched by mental illness.

i have started therapy now – it’s weird but i’m hopeful it will be have a positive impact on me. i try really hard to not let it dictate my life.

i had a number of people message me to say that they would never had imagined i suffered, that had i not posted about it then and previously, i would be the last person they would have thought had depression and anxiety.

 

off the back of that, because we all know how egocentric i am, here are 28 other things you may not know about me…

  1. i will always be jealous of everyone that can play (competently play) the piano and violin. growing up my parents couldn’t afford for me to have lessons so it is something that i never learnt but always wanted to.

 

  1. my favourite seasons are spring and autumn. they are both transitional seasons and they feel just like starting over to me. spring is full of hope – everything is new. autumn clears my mind, when the leaves fall and so do the cobwebs in my head.

 

  1. i’m much more a ‘bunch of wildflowers’ girl than a ‘bunch of roses’ girl

 

  1. the best sounds in the world are my nephews laughs (all three of them) the sound of the waves crashing is a close second though.

 

  1. i am a bit of a tea snob – i take mine milk, no sugar. Preferably it will be a Barry’s tea bag or a Yorkshire. To end the debate once and for all – THE MILK GOES IN LAST.

 

  1. i do not like wine. Or champagne. i really wish i did. It looks so sophisticated, but it all tastes like vinegar to me. i do however enjoy a nice glass of Bucks Fizz and can stomach a glass of Prosecco but that’s as sophisticated as i get.

 

  1. if i were to ever design my own home and you told me i could have either a really big closet or a really big library i would choose a library every time.

  1. i really do want world peace

 

  1. the most perfect place i have ever been is the Island of Capri at sunset

 

  1. i really want to live by the seaside

 

  1. my friend Steph once bought me a notebook with a map of the world as a cover – she brought it for me to document my travels in. now, whenever i visit somewhere that requires me to board an aeroplane i always pick up a postcard from the destination and stick it in that book.

 ​

  1. most girls i know have thought in great detail about their wedding and what they want it to be like. i have not. i have, however, thought a lot about what i’d like my funeral to be like (morbid, i know)

 

  1. although i was christened COE when i was a bubba and i’m not overly religious now, i do still believe in God. i’m not sure in which sense – i don’t believe it’s a big dude sitting on a cloud, but i do believe in some kind of higher being. i also believe that Karma is a very real force in this world.

 

  1. If i could have anyone narrate my life i think i would choose either David Attenborough or the guy that narrates Come Dine with Me because he is a sarcastic ray of sunshine.

 

  1. i am obsessed with Crime documentaries and stories (i’m not sure what that says about me,really)

 

  1. yes it’s true, i was on the telly not once, but twice. autographs are 50p. per letter.

 

  1. i am a musical freak. my favourite is West Side Story.

 

  1. if i watch friends with you i will most likely quote at least 50% of the dialogue at you. if you’re really lucky it may be more.

 

  1. unless it is work, a medical appointment or something like a wedding or funeral I will be at least 10 minutes late. at this point i’ve realised it’s just who i am as a person.

my friends know.

  1. i love Cliff Richard!! – i grew up watching Summer Holiday and The Young Ones (see no.17 musical freak) and i think this is why i love him.

 

  1. most people are scared of clowns, rodents, snakes, spiders… not me. i’m scared of Octopus and Squid. i’m shivering just thinking about them now. Eurgh.

 

  1. i will put ketchup with pretty much anything. there isn’t many dishes that a squirt of Heinz can’t make better.

 

  1. want to know if you matter to me? find out if i have a song/songs attached to you. music is in my heart and if you are too, there will be a song for you.

 

  1. my favourite handbag designer is Kate Spade. And, unpopular opinion time, i do not like Michael Kors. at all.

 

  1. i really love Caroline Flack. i want her to be my friend. the same goes for Dawn O’Porter

 

  1. i have a bit of a crush on Gary Oldman. especially as Sirius Black

 

  1. my favourite accent in the world is the Irish (Northern > Southern, soz guys)

 

  1. one of my earliest memories from when i was very young is someone walked past me in the town, burning my left hand with their cigarette. that’s how i learnt my left and right.

i am me.

Where I am: HOME

What I’m listening to: Acoustic Room playlist on Spotify.

 

Morning,

 I just wanted to start this by saying a big thank you. After my last post I received an influx of messages from various people telling me I was definitely ‘enough’ already. I know I can be my own worst enemy, I’m learning new things about myself everyday and I am learning to be OK with who I am – it’s something we work on everyday.

So to the following…

Julie, Gel, Nat, Briana, Mary Jane, Laura, Momma Sophs, Mr AND Mrs Taylor (who messaged me separately), Tom, Auntie P, Katie, Dalbs (Well done for not cutting anyone), Maureen, Michelle, Sammy, Dina, Mama Sewell, My sisters, Donna and everyone else… BIG LOVE. Thank you.

Also thank you to Megan – I’m so glad you understood what I meant, you made me feel less crazy about it!

 

I honestly didn’t expect the reaction I got, I was just simply sharing my thoughts as I always do.

 

Today is a new day. Today I am ok. Today I am ok with who I am.

 

Someone recently told me they think I am ‘authentic’ – for me that is a huge compliment; I strive to be a lot of things and authentic is one of them.

I am me. I am not perfect. I have my chaos. I am emotional. I cry over stupid things. I get angry. I withdraw into myself. I doubt myself. I love people but hate them as well. I love to laugh. If you’re important to me I will tell you. I can be moody. I sometimes need a hug or a pat on the head. I am loyal – probably blindly. I am an all -or – nothing type girl. I need looking after. I will never forget how you made me feel. I will always listen and try and help where I can. Music is my therapy. I am sarcastic. I am scatty. I love learning about people. I need reassurance from time to time. I can be insecure. I am sunshine and showers. I am a million and one different things; I can only hope to be good enough for you.

If I am not, there isn’t much I can do about it.

This is me.

Are you in? If you are, great.

If you’re not, that’s ok too.

I’ll miss you though.

 

xoxo Micks

 

feeling the love

oh hey.

it’s 6am in LA. I can’t sleep. so y’all are getting a post (2 in as many days #sorrynotsorry)

so, quick background on where i’m staying and who i’m staying with.

one of my best friends from university (hey, Jade) is from LA. Her mom (Momma Sophs) dad (Wilf) and god mom (Lisa) all live together in a beautiful house (her dad did a beaut of a job on it, he’s so talented). I’m staying with / visiting them. Jade isn’t here- she lives in Finland with her fella. My Irish pal is here too, though. I know, I know… it’s complicated.

i’ve know Jade for 9 years nearly, and her folks for maybe 6/7 of those. They have all known me during my struggles with depression and anxiety, they housed me for a summer so Jade and I could road trip west coast >> east, they housed me this January  when I had my breakdown over going to Australia or not. 

they know me well.

they know not to talk to me in the morning because I’m grumpy. They know I’m pretty laid back about most things – one of the reasons Jades mom likes to travel with me. They know I can be a sarcastic little shite. They know I’m obsessed with music; if I’m not listening to it, I’m reading about it. If I’m not reading about it, I’m singing. 

when I come here to visit it feels like a home from home. I feel so relaxed, there’s no pretense, no bullshit. 

they remind me that friends really are the family we choose for ourselves. I think to myself on every trip how did I luck out and meet Jade and then gain an extra family? a family that is genuinely concerned for my wellbeing.

yesterday morning I was in the kitchen and Momma Sophs and I had this conversation 

S “Oh I’m glad you’re here by yourself, I wanted to talk to you alone”

M “ok, whats up?”

S “are you ok, sweetie? You’re not feeling anxious, your depression hasn’t come back?”

M “no, I’m ok at the moment. Maybe a bit anxious with work but I’m fine”

S ” ok good, I just wanted to check because you’ve been really quiet this whole trip and I was really worried”

DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY AND LOVED I FELT WALKING AWAY FROM THAT CONVERSATION? 

Having conversations like that with anyone that has a history of mental illness is so, SO important. 

Knowing someone is looking out for you… priceless. 

This email from the universe is true 

I’m feeling the love 

Xoxo micks 

Just like John, I’m so tired. 

where i am: Los Angeles with my American fam.

where my head is at: who bloody knows. when it stops spinning I’ll let you know. 

It’s happening, friends. I’m getting old. I can feel it in myself. I realise 28 isn’t really old in a numbers sense but I’m not talking about numbers and years. I’m talking about in my mindset, in my head. 

I’m feeling old. I’m feeling tired. I’m feeling the need to slow down and take some time for me, myself and I. I’m feeling like I want to start being selfish with my time. Since I was 20 or 21 every single holiday I took from work has been filled with trips here, there and everywhere. One of the first lines people say to me when they see me is ‘Where’s your next trip?’ Or ‘Where are you going to next?’. The self confessed free-spirit of my family, the traveller, the nomad I have always been the adventurer. I have loved it. I do love it, still, but I’m tired.

I have done some of the most incredible things on these holidays – I have had tomatoes thrown at my face during La Tomatina in Spain, seen the sunrise across Bryce Canyon in the US, got lost in the caves in Postonja, Slovenia. I’ve climbed Mount Vesuvius, sang and danced my way down the Champs Elysées, had my heart broken walking around Anne Frank House. I stayed out until the sun came up with friends I just made in NYC, felt the flames of Fallas on my face (not literally) in Valencia, visited Obama at the White House, swooned over the views at Giant’s Causeway… and so much more. 

But I’m tired.

I’m really fucking tired.

I was talking to one of my friends about this recently. I said that after my trip to India I have no trips planned. For the first time in a long time, I’m totally ok with that. It’s a very odd thing for me to say. I’m always looking ahead to the next holiday, the next adventure. Sure there are loose plans, but nothing confirmed.

My friend agreed it was odd and I said how tired I was. I said how I feel like I’m always travelling and that I have minimal time at home, to spend my time just being with the people I have in my life in England. My friend said to me that it’s ok to be selfish with my free time. That sometimes it is necessary. Sometimes, instead of flying off to visit someone when I have rare time off work, it’s ok to be selfish and say either ‘you come here’ or simply, ‘no’. I’m taking this time for me. I’m taking this time to be at home, to sleep in and see the people in this country. 

I realise this may post may rub people the wrong way, it may come across as ungrateful; you may be thinking I’m a brat. I promise you I’m not, that’s not my intention. I am aware how lucky I am to have travelled as I do, as I have. 

I’m also aware that I may change my mind on this (hello the sometimes fickle Gemini mind), perhaps I’m feeling this way as I’ve only had one week off since March. 

I’m just saying that right now, in this moment, I’m tired.

I’m currently visiting friends in the US. I go home, have 5 days at work and then fly to India for 2 weeks. After that, aside from work, my time is my own. 

I can’t fucking wait 

Xoxo Micks 

Be bloody kind!

It’s been a sad week in the world hasn’t it? You all know the horrid events that took place in Charlottesville last Saturday – the fact that there are still people in the world that believe themselves to be superior to others based on nothing more than skin colour is mind-blowing.

Screen Shot 2017-08-20 at 19.14.02.png

 

Then my darling Spain was victim of not one, but two terror attacks.

How is there still so much hate in this world? Do these people not realise we are all the same? Our hearts beat the same, our blood runs the same colour. We are all a mix of each other; is there actually anyone that can claim they are 100% pure English, Spanish or Indian etc? Our ancestors were probably all immigrants at one point or another.

For my birthday back in June I got a DNA kit from ancestry.co.uk. Some of my friends had done it the year before and I was immediately interested. My family tree is something that I am super interested in but unfortunately don’t know much about; both my nan’s passed away before I was born, we didn’t have anything to do with my paternal grandfather so there wasn’t anyone to ask about my dad’s side of the family. My dad knows bits but not loads. My beloved Pop-Pop (my Mum’s dad) was the only grandparent I had growing up, from him we know bits and pieces – there is definite Dutch heritage somewhere along his line.

I really wasn’t sure what to expect from my results but I was excited to see. I spat in a tube (super glam) and sent it off to the lab for them to work their magic.

When I got the email telling me my results were in… lets just say my jaw dropped. There was a bigger range that I had ever expected.

 

 

South Asia? Iberian Peninsula? Finland? Honestly the only result I was expecting was British, Irish and Europe West because that would account for the Dutch.

Of course I was super excited to get the results, my inner geek was rejoicing. I have always been interested in my heritage as I said. My point in sharing these results though is to prove something – we all were immigrants at one point. No one is superior over anyone. We’re all bloody mixed race! What I would love more than anything is for all these extremists to have their own DNA kit sampled – can you imagine their reaction if they found out they were descended from the very people they believe they were better than? Priceless. I’ll leave you with two things, 1. PLEASE BE KIND TO EVERYONE and 2. This video (apologies if you’ve already seen it, but I kind of proves my point ).

 

 

Peace out, bros

xoxo Micks

This song reminds me of you

What I’m listening to: Pentatonix; PTX Vol. IV – Classics (dem harmonies, though!)

 

 

Hiya pals,

I hope you’re all well. I’ve had a lovely weekend of work and general social merriment. I’ve even found time to start reading a new book after not having read anything since April (we can safely say that my aim of reading 2 books a month went out the window, ay) This book though, I’m in it hook, line and sinker. It’s called ‘I am missing’ by Tim Weaver about a guy that wakes up on a beach with no memory trying to find out who he is. I’m intrigued.

Anyway, today’s post is about the best therapy – music. I have posted before about how much I love it, my history with it and even my Desert Island Discs.

I always have and always will believe music is one of the few things that can bring people together. I have so many memories tied to songs; both good and bad memories. They are both as important as each other.

 

There are also songs that remind me of certain people – the other day in the car I was listening to Magic (my absolute fave station, no shame) and no less than four songs came on in a row that reminded of my best friend, Rachel.

  1. Hold on by Wilson Phillips – it’s ‘our’ song
  2. Despacito – Luis Fonzi and Daddy Yankee – anything Spanish we tie to each other as we became pals when we lived in Valencia
  3. I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas – it was the soundtrack to so many nights out in Valencia.
  4. Fast Car by Tracy Chapman – one of Rachel’s favourite songs (if not her favourite) so it always makes me think of her when I see her.

N.B when I say the other day I can mean anything from 6 months ago until yesterday

Then because I’m self-centred I wanted to know what songs remind other people of me so I asked.

Here’s what they said…

 

Sophie

Mulan – Reflection, because I think you’re still trying to find yourself

Frozen – Let it Go, because we ran around Paris singing this (much to Leanne’s embarrassment)

I’ll make a man out of you from Mulan reminds me of Sophia because we both love it. As soon as one of us says ‘Let’s get down to business’ that’s it, get ready for the show.

 

Leanne

Brown Sugar – The Rolling Stones; “I don’t know why, just ‘cause”

(I have no idea how Leanne’s brain works as we have never listened to this song together)

Anything Ed Sheeran because he is Leanna’s favourite. Also, Elvis ‘Can’t help falling love’ reminds me of Sophia and Leanna because it is ‘their’ song and it’s so cute!

 

Rachel

Hold on – Wilson Phillips “because it’s our song”

I Gotta Feeling – The Black Eyed Peas “because Valencia”

Anything by Jason Derulo “because you used to be obsessed with him” (It’s true, sorrynotsorry)

Carlos Baute – Te Regalo – this song is sooooo cheesy but we both love it

 

Aside from the ones I mentioned earlier, anything UB40. They’re her fave.

 

Diane

Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Ray “You were sad for such a long time and it makes me smile to think how far you’ve come”

 

How nice is that? Thanks, Dalbs. Mine for Diane are Amy Winehouse – Rehab and Rick Astley ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ , we spent sooooo many afternoons sorting the delivery out dancing and singing to these songs. Oh and Sugababes ‘About You Now’ that was another one we danced to.

Amy

I see the light – Tangled “your fave”

Do it like a dude – Jessie J “you put it on a CD for me when we were on placement together and sang it allll the time in the car”

I was made for loving you – Tori Kelly and Ed Sheeran “you suggested it to me for our wedding and it made it on our wedding playlist”

Girls by Marina and the Diamonds because Ams said it was written about me and I’ve always remembered that, Ho Hey by the Lumineers because it was another song at her wedding and also 5,6,7,8 by Steps because she loves a line dance…

Charlie

Paolo Nutini – Candy “I don’t know why, it just does”

Anything by Taylor Swift “because of our epic singalongs in the car”

Taylor Swift, for exactly the same reason plus ‘Dreams’ by Fleetwood Mac (such a tune)

 

Byng

Walkashame – Meghan Trainor “reminds me of the car ride to Norfolk for Amy’s wedding

Love on Top – Beyonce “we listened to it loads when we stayed in London”

 

Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepson. If you are ever lucky enough to meet Byng ask her about this song and Milan. That’s all I’m gonna say.

 

Jade

Happy – Pharrell Williams “every time it comes on my mom says ‘Oh I miss Michaela’ “

Let her go – Passenger / Best Song Ever – One Direction “because you listened to Passenger loads on the road trip and drove me mad with the One Direction one on the trip too.

It’s not my fault, Harry Styles is my one true love he just doesn’t know it yet. The song that always reminds me of Jade is Ryan Bingham ‘The Weary Kind’, I remember we were front row for one of his shows in Kings Cross and we both cried at this song and he cried too!

I know for sure I asked other people but in a move that is completely out of character I cannot find where I wrote them down and I have a habit of clearing all my chats so I can’t even go back and check. My bad.

Send them to me again, sure.

I’ll try not to lose them this time.

Xoxo

Micks