Words to learn from.

Hi friends,

I hope you’re well on this beautiful, beautiful Saturday. I have had lovely belated birthday out with two of my most favourite friends. I’ve come home with slight sunburn, face paint and lots of memories and possible plans for the future.

So, fun fact about me; I don’t really like people but I am a little obsessed with what they all think. I love listening or reading about people and I adore them sharing their lessons and views on anything and everything. I truly believe that we can learn so much if we just listen. We very often listen just to respond, we don’t listen to learn. We just need to pay attention.

Another fun fact about me: since I was around 15 I have kept journals filled with my thoughts / lessons learnt but also with the words of others that have, for one reason or another, struck a chord with me. Sometimes it has been what I needed to hear at the time, others it has been that I just knew I’d need to hear it at some point in the future. I’ll jot them down in a notepad, other times I’ll take a photo of them with my phone or in the ‘notes’ app and I go over them from time to time.

Today, I did just that and thought I’d share some of those with you. The majority of these are from this year; some are from years gone by. Unfortunately I am not so great at noting down where I get them from, some you may recognise, others you may not but all rights to their respective owners. Some of them I have added my thoughts in brackets to, others I haven’t.

Here we go…

“Ruin is beautiful. It’s where transformation happens” (What a beautiful way to look at it)

 

“Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself”

 

“We all need someone who challenges us, someone who touches our soul”

 

“Some people can’t believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first” (This is me. 100% )

 

“We get to choose who we let in to our weird little world”

 

“Sure you’ll have bad times, but it will always wake you up to the good stuff you weren’t paying attention to” (PREACH)

 

“Part of growing up is learning to leave behind the nasty remarks and the hurt that comes with them and turning them into positives.”

 

“Ugliness is on the inside. Hatred and cruelty are what make a person truly ugly”

 

“The perfect marriage, just like the perfect wedding, doesn’t exist”

 

“It’s what marriage is all about: finding someone to love and love you back, through lifes hurdles. There should be excitement and fun but its how you deal with the tough times, how you get through the day-to-day and grow together that matters”

 

“We must take care of our family, no matter where we find them” (For someone who has always said family is purely blood, nothing more, this is super on point)

 

“The only way to heal is to trust”

 

“I thought too much, felt too much. I didn’t want to feel anything” – this should be engraved on my gravestone when I die.

 

“Getting older means accepting loss; it’s a fact of life. Some people will stay forever, some wont. It’s the heartbreak of being on this planet”

 

“My friends are my human wonderbras. Supportive, uplifting and they make me look bigger and better” (Thanks to my human wonderbras. You know who you are)

 

“There are people that you have that you cant bullshit and you have to be honest with them. Whether you want to or not”

 

“To be of service to other people is a purpose of life”

 

“The centre of the earth can be anywhere you want it to be”

 

“Sometimes closure arrives years later. Long after you stopped searching for it. You’re just sitting there, laughing this laugh that is unapologetically yours. As it trails off, the corners of your mouth hugs your face and it hits you “I’m happy”. It’s just like that. With no fanfare or epiphany. Suddenly you are grateful for the goodbyes that carried you to this moment; to the space you are now holding” (LIFE GOALS)

 

And the last one… a lovely one to finish with

 

“You’re always someone’s hero, whether you know it or not”

 

There we have it… just a selection of those I’ve noted down this last while. Those that know me may be able to guess which ones struck a chord with me and why – possibly even ones that I haven’t yet figured out myself. Anyway, I hope you enjoy them, I hope that maybe you might have had a moment of clarity when reading one of them.

 

I know I have.

 

From me and my hippy heart

Big love xoxo

Micks

The Women Who Made Me

 

Ladies, in case you didn’t know – Wednesday is OUR day.

International Women’s Day. A whole day to celebrate us because, being honest, we’re pretty bloody great aren’t we? I find so much to admire about my gender and the people who fall into it. I’ve been lucky to have been around some pretty fabulous women my whole life. I am a combination of these women; their lives, experiences and influence have helped shape me in to the woman I am today.

The women who made me come from everywhere. All over. Some real, some make-believe. Some I know personally. Some I don’t. Their influence on my life has been no less because I don’t know them on a personal level, or because they are the figment of someone’s imagination.

I am surrounded daily by women whom I admire, women who have traits and qualities I covet, women that teach me things about myself and the world, that influence me in all areas of my life. The women I surround myself with are my biggest cheerleaders, my biggest challengers. Badasses, the lot of ’em!

The women I am about to write about are the women that I feel had the biggest influence on turning the painfully shy, socially awkward Michaela into the less shy and slightly less socially awkward Michaela I am today in the years when I was still trying to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be.

 

My Mum – the ever delightful Mazza.

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Those of you that know me well would know to expect to find my mum on this list. What can I say about the woman who raised me? She’s fuckin’ nuts. She really is. Aside from the standard ‘mum’ lessons that most mums instill in their children, the biggest thing she has taught me is to laugh. Life is there to be enjoyed; laughter is the best medicine. She taught me humility and gave me the gift of being able to laugh at myself. She gave me my love for music – without which I would be completely lost. Music is my best therapy, aside from writing, and there are many times in my life – without sounding too dramatic – that music has saved me from feeling too lonely and lost.

 

My siblings.

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My sisters also deserve their own shout out because they too have had a hand in making me who I am. I am really mix of both of them. They have both always been very protective of me as the youngest child. Melanie is loud and strong, stubborn as a mule – traits that have definitely rubbed off on me. Melissa is quiet, shy and can be quite conservative, I have those sides of me too. One thing that I have gained from these betches is balance. As I said I am a mix of the two of them – so whilst I can be stubborn I am often the one that helps Melanie see the other side of the story and that goes for situations I find myself in too. Being able to see both sides is a trait I’m proud I possess. Melissa has helped me developed my “fake it till you make it façade” – when I push the status quo too far Melissa is there as my moral compass, keeping me on the straight and narrow.

 

Cinderella

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 Cinderella was my favourite Disney princess growing up. She was kind, gentle and she persevered through a mass amount of abuse from her stepmother and step sisters, and she still managed to come through the entire ordeal without wishing them any harm or wrongdoing. The animals were her friends. She lived in harmony with them – she even treated Lucifer (I hated that cat) with respect. She was soft but strong. Something that I aspire to be, even now. She was the lesson that whilst you cannot always change your circumstances or how people treat you, you can make the best of the situation – you can control your reaction to it.

Miss Glover/ Miss Meredith/ Miss Rao / Miss Brown.

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I have no pictures of my old teachers so here is one of Miss Honey from Matilda.

Miss Glover – Year 2 and 3 teacher

Miss Meredith – Year 6 teacher

Miss Brown – Biology teacher in Year 8 and 9

Miss Rao – Psychology teacher in years 12 and 13

These women are the female teachers that made me love school and learning. At 27, I still love to learn. Without sounding arrogant I was a bright student; academically I was above average in everything, except perhaps I. T (I still hate technology). I was however a lazy student – if the subject matter did not interest me, or the teacher was not engaging I would switch off and there was no going back. I fluked my way through all my GCSE and A-Level exams; rarely looking at revision books or notes.

Miss Glover was the first teacher that made me enjoy learning – she coaxed answers out of me in front of the whole class, something which no other teacher had been able to do. I was so shy in my first years at school that I would tell my friend what I thought and she would tell the teacher and rest of the class, until Miss Glover came along. To this day I still have no idea how she did it.

Miss Meredith was the first teacher I really looked up to. I remember just really liking her and would have happily stayed at school long after the bell rang when I was in her class.

As those of you that have met me know I am shorter than average. 5’1 to be exact. Of course growing up I was aware that I was much smaller than most of my class mates and it was never something that gave me much trauma but I was always very aware of it. Miss Brown was also a petite lady but she more than made up for it in attitude and she helped me see that being short didn’t mean you had to be ignored – you could still be short and sassy. She helped me learn how to own my height and be comfortable with it.

Miss Rao gave me my love for all things psychology related. Even now the human brain and psyche fascinate me. I love to observe people and find out why they do what they do, mental health issues and diseases fascinate me. I also just remember her being so cool for a teacher. She was young when she taught me, maybe mid twenties. She loved to travel in the holidays and would come back and tell us all these stories of what she’d done and where she’d been. I was just in awe of her and her confidence and how she carried herself – she really made being intelligent (and passionate about things) cool.

 

Keltie Knight nee Colleen.

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Keltie is an entertainment journalist based out of LA. She used to be a dancer and has danced with everyone from Beyoncé to Kanye, Panic at the Disco to Christina Perri.

I was going through a really tough time when I found Keltie online, it was around 2010 that I began to follow her. She used to send out emails to her blog followers called ‘Moonbeams’ – a weekly lesson or thought. She has provided me with food for thought for the last 8 years and continues to do so now. She has reminded me time and again that people need other people and spreading happiness can be effortless.

Her book “Rockette, Rockstars and Rockbottom” taught me to own my vulnerabilities, to not be ashamed of the bad times and the sadness that surrounds them. That it’s ok to be sad and have a pity party every now and again but you can’t stay there – you have to get up and fight again.

Diane Alice Lorraine.

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Funny story: when I met Diane I didn’t like her. She hired me when I was 17, buggered off to run another store for a couple of months, came back and I hated her. I still remember the first thing she ever said to me and where it was. Fast forward 10 years and I’d be completely bloody lost without her. She’s put up with the majority of my crap over the years, calling me out on my shit when it’s needed and providing me with some much-needed pep talks. The one thing Diane has taught me, I think more than anything, is that it is ok to want more. Some people are happy to settle but it’s ok not to. As a girl from a working class background that grew up on a council estate people would expect me to settle – so many do, Diane made me see it’s ok not to. In fact she actively encouraged me not to. Thanks, C**t.

Marina Diamandis of Marina and the Diamonds

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“Are you satisfied with an average life?”

“Look like a girl but I think like a guy”

“Can’t let your cold heart be free,
When you act like you’ve got an OCD”

“It’s okay to say you’ve got a weak spot
You don’t always have to be on top
Better to be hated
Than loved loved loved for what you’re not”

Marina was the first female singer / songwriter that I related to – her lyrics where about everything from not feeling good enough, mental health issues, being bored with what society demanded of females and the standard idea of beauty we see in gossip magazines. Of course she wasn’t the first EVER female to sing about these things but she was the first I related to from my age bracket that I listened to. Her lyrics could have come out of my journal, even my friends have remarked over the years that her songs ‘could be about you’. Especially her song ‘Girls” of which Marina herself has said: Of her song

“It’s a call for women to stop being their own enemies. These days you’re either a nun or a whore, to be both and neither, all in one. I want to help redefine women’s place in society.” I love her.

 

These are, of course, a handful of the women that helped make me who I am. I have 4 Aunts who each have played their part in who I am. Up to the age of 20 they and those name above were without a doubt the biggest players in making me, well, me. There are friends that I have made over the years too that have played a part. Becky was my first best friend, Rebecca in middle school – I remember many a sleepover at her house, Neysa in secondary school – she helped me find my singing voice, encouraged me to join the choir which led to many more memories… I could sit here all day and list the women that made me, everyone that has influenced me. The list would be never-ending because I guess in a way, everyone we come into contact with impacts us. We are the people we surround ourselves with.

 

To the women that have made me, thank you!

To the women I know and surround myself with – thank you!

To women all over the world – you matter, your stories matter and you fucking ROCK.

 

Here’s to having a vagina!

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xoxo Micks

Happy Tears and Thank-Yous.

Location: Starbucks

Listening to: My ‘Musicals’ Soundtrack

Last night went like this.

5:30 – Home, spend the next hour hanging out with the fam and winding my BFF/ nephew MJ up (just for the record – when Mickey Mouse’s Clubhouse comes on the TV and he runs up to me, arms raised to pick him up and dance with him to the theme tune is one of my favourite moments of the day)

6:30 – MJ and co leave to go home. Potter around for a couple of hours.

8:00 – Quick 10 min phone call with the BFG, chatting work and life

8:20 – BFG calls back with more news.

9:00 – Ready for bed (so yes, the answer to your question is I AM rock n roll), Netflix on. It’s a ‘The Big Bang Theory’ kind of evening.

9:15 – Another friend messages me to say ‘Thank you for being my friend’ we chat for a while

9:30 – Chat finished.

9:40 – I have been lost in my thoughts for the last ten minutes and suddenly find myself crying.

Yep, for no reason at all I just start crying.

WHO DOES THAT?

Then I start thinking, what is wrong with me? I have no reason to be crying. Why am I such a weirdo? I have always been a bit of a weirdo – I kind of like it to be fair – but more than a healthy amount of weird is the person that just starts to cry. They weren’t sad tears but rather happy ones, grateful ones. We all know happy tears are a thing but it isn’t something I recall affecting me too much. In fact I can tell you the four times I have ever been affected by happy tears.

  1. When my friends surprised me on my 18th birthday
  2. When Oscar was born
  3. When MJ was born
  4. When Arlo was born (which was actually today, the day I started this post)

That’s it.

4 times.

The happy tears came from a place of gratitude though. I was grateful. I AM grateful. I know it sounds odd but I have had a bit of a roller coaster these last six months. I left a job I thought I was done with, started a new one that I was a bit bored on but met some lovely people, rediscovered an old dream of living that Oz life, quit job, flew to America, decided I’d changed mind on old dream and came home in more ways than one.

I must have been a bit of a nightmare during that time. I know some of my nearest and dearest were worried my old friend depression would come knockin’ on my door again (he hasn’t) and were worried I’d regret my decision (I don’t) and thought I was having a mid-life crisis 30 years too early (my old/new bosses words and he isn’t completely wrong).

The support from the majority of people during these hectic few weeks and months has been sure and steady from those I always knew had my back and some I didn’t know did but was pleasantly surprised to find out they do. Of course there have a been a couple of people who have surprised me in an unpleasant way but I am choosing not to dwell on that, I’d rather move on from those people and leave them pre-breakdown.

I have written about the power of gratitude before. I’ve spoken about it to a few people. Thoughts become things – positivity breads positivity. Last night, after I got that message from my friend – which was completely unexpected – it triggered a non-verbal wave of gratitude. I don’t understand my emotions sometimes but last night I decided that I would write about it and list my thanks to my many family and friends that have been there for me this last while.

Role call please…

Mi familia – I apologise for freaking you out at 3am when I called to tell you I wasn’t going to follow the yellow brick road. Mel and DC, I’m glad I didn’t wake MJ up but to be fair you could have taken him to mum and dad’s as they had breakfast at 4am to ‘celebrate’. THANKS FOR BEING SO COOL WITH ME AND MY WAYS.

Mrs. Howman – the message you sent me when you found out I was coming home, made me cry – thanks for that. We’re so similar in so many ways, not just the fact that we were both Grandad’s favourites. We’ll always be cousins because of the whole ‘blood’ thing but I hope we’re always friends too.

Denise (or Dennis the menace) – who’d have thought that my very first supervisor at work would turn out to be such a good friend? 10 years is a long time to put up with anyone, especially when you work with them too. Thanks for always being there with a cup of tea to listen and tell me when I’m being a dick. You’re one of the few people I actually will listen to. We don’t really do emotions but I don’t think I’ve said thank you enough over the years.

Rachpal – Thanks for being my best friend. We’ve done a whole lot in the last 7 years but mostly we’ve laughed. We’ve laughed so much. An afternoon with you is the best tonic for most of life’s woes, even if you can’t fix it you’ll always try. You always keep me realistic when I’m chasing something. You’re not just a ‘yes’ person and I love that about you. Oh, and thank you for making your babies. I love them dearly.

The 4130 Rincon fam (Momma Sophs, Liseeee, WIlf) – you were all so cool during my breakdown, when the decision was made there was a simple “that’s cool, there’s no judgement. Just a margarita when you’re ready”. I know I’ll always have a safe place there with you if I ever need it and that puts so much peace in my heart. You are the greatest. Love you!

Markus – my brother. You were the one (along with Momma Sophs) that reminded to listen to me and what I wanted; no one else had done that for a long time. How you made out what I was saying during those voice notes where I was crying I’ll never know. Thanks for always being there to pick me up when I fall and to then push me back over again so we both have something to laugh at.

The BFG – I think I’m stuck with you whether I like it or not! You are one of the most genuine people I have ever met (and the most talkative) and you never tell me something just for the sake of it – you’re another person who isn’t just a ‘yes’ person. Thanks for taking losing the Oz holiday so well, at least we can adventure together now… oh the fun we’ll have! You’re a good egg, and I’m glad you chose me to harass all those phone calls ago at work. ( I know, I know HOW RUDE).

Humy – when you look at us we are so different, you are the glamorous, cool girl whilst I’m the dorky girl in comfortable shoes but somehow it works. It has since day 1. We might not see each other as often these days but I’ve survived a few personal shit storms with you by my side and visa versa. You’re incredible. Thank you.

Alice Lorraine – in the words of our favorite, Rick Astley “never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you” I realise that he means it in the romantic sense but it translates to friends too, kind of. Thanks for sticking around.

The best of the rest…

Byng – you are bloody brilliant. My life would be sooooo dull without you.

Mr and Mrs TayTay – thanks for offering me a home from home and thanks for always being supportive. Amy Jayne, you’re one of my biggest fans. Love you.

Charles in charge – There’s no one I’d rather singalong to T-Swizzle with.

The original 010 crew – you know I’m an idiot but you take care of me anyway. Thank you. I have never laughed at work with anyone more than I did with you.

Sophia and Leanna – I feel like I never see you anymore but remember you’re always my favourites.

J-RO, I miss the days when you and I could just hang out , the two of us. I miss you, friend. Thanks for the memories, we’ve had the best times.

Steph, RhiRhi, Ags – we’ve gone in such different directions and even though I am not much older than any of you – in fact I’m younger than one but won’t say which 😉 – we’ve never lost each other. There’s something really beautiful about that. I’m so proud to call you my friends.

Naughty Norman, you deserve your own shout out. You’re a top bird, cheers mate.

Heather, the sass queen, you’re bloody brilliant. Thanks for being you, crackhead.

In case you couldn’t tell I’m surrounded by some pretty f@ckin’ awesome people! I don’t know what I did to deserve it so I’m not questioning it, just saying thanks a bunch!

Something else I am also thankful for is to be going back to work! Around this time last year I was out with a friend and I remember saying “ I really love my job” and they replied “ I can tell”. I start back at work in a couple of weeks and I can’t wait to get back to feeling like that. Various things in last half of last year made me lose interest in work and I felt a bit bored with it all. I am going to be working for someone who I have a lot of respect for and surrounded by faces old and new. I’m so excited to be given this chance and to be out the house and interacting with everyone again for wholes days rather than just hours. To be working with friends again. Being unemployed is boring and I’m so bad at it. I think this is the best time to thank Netflix for keeping me company, though.

2017 is only 2 months in, and already I have so much to look forward to. I’m feeling good; life is good. 2017 holds a lot of potential and I’ll try and remember to say thank you every step of the way.

Oh, and to anyone else I may have forgotten… thanks

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What would you do?

Location: Starbucks con iced Americano

Listening to: Little Big Town – Better Man

 

Week 4. I’m late with this one but I have spent the majority of the last week laying in bed and thinking about what I have done, so forgive me. No regrets though. I have realised that I am definitely bad at being unemployed and that I need something to get out of bed for besides to make my next cup of tea (or coffee, I blame Gilmore Girls for that). I have pulled my butt out of, not just my bed but also, my HOUSE. I KNOW. ALL THE HIGH FIVES AND GOLD STARS FOR ME. I’m out in the world for realsies. How did that happen? I made it to my local Starbucks (oh hai all my fellow basics) to interact with the human race and write.

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YAY ME.

So, today’s topic is one that I have toyed with writing about for a little while now. It is a bit of sensitive subject but one that is very relevant to me right now. I have bent a lot of people’s ears about this topic to help me decide what to do. This woman is definitely not an island.

 

 

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR FRIEND’S BOYFRIEND/ GIRLFRIEND?

 

Seriously? It is such a tricky situation to be in. I like the other half; I just don’t like them for my friend. Now, disclaimer, I may be completely biased in what I am about to write BUT I think that all my friends are beautiful gems that deserve the world so this post comes from a good place. Regardless of my personal relationships, everyone deserves a relationship in which they are put first most of the time. Or so I think. Why would you be in a relationship with someone who puts you second, even third on his or her list of priorities? Taking my princess crown off and taking a shot of reality, I understand that no one is anyone’s number 1 100% of the time because…well… life. Things get in the way, work becomes stressful and needs more energy, family and friends demand attention too but overall your significant other should be your number one, no? (Until you have kids and then you’re eternally bumped to number 2 but that’s how it should be, don’t you think?) I struggle being around one person 24/7 so it’s definitely not about having your S/O there for you at the drop of a hat, we all need our own lives so we don’t wind up feeling suffocated and isolated. It is about factoring your S/O into your decision-making, about doing things that THEY want to do too so they feel valued. Spending time with THEIR family and THEIR friends too because it’s not just you anymore.

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I have had conversations with both real life friends, online friends (HELLO LADYGANGERS) and as of an hour ago, complete strangers. From my discussions it is a more common situation than I’d first thought and, like most things, everyone has an opinion on what to do.

MY biggest problem is keeping my mouth shut – as my darling Momma Sophs said to me a couple of weeks ago “The thing I like the most about Michaela…. What you see is what you get. She doesn’t bullshit you, she’s the one to go to when you need tough love in a nice way”

“Sometimes my greatest achievement is keeping my mouth shut”

I’d say that’s a pretty accurate statement – I like to think I tell people what they need to hear, not what they want to hear. My current dilemma is this – when this friend comes to me with relationship gripes, do I make it known how I feel? Do I tell her that I think her other half doesn’t value her, do I tell her that she seems to be doing all the giving and none of the taking? Do I have the right to do that as her friend? Or do I keep my big hooter out? I understand being an outsider that I will never know 100% what their relationship is like – I’m not in it, I do not know what goes on behind closed doors – but I have seen them together enough, heard enough stories (both good and bad) to create my own opinion. Is it my place to say that, whilst I think she is happy, I think she could be happier?

 

I don’t pretend to be an expert on relationships – Lord knows I have been single since before the war and can only seem to attract men that are already in relationships these days, but that’s another story for another day – but one thing this time being a single pringle has allowed me is to evaluate (ok, judge) other people and their relationships and what I WANT and NEED from my future relationship(s). I have watched friends fall in and out of toxic relationships, seen them happily plod along with something because it was better than being alone. I’ve seen friends settle because they were too scared to go after something better.

 

The general consensus from my advice seeking about what to do in this dilemma has been to keep my mouth shut because it could shake the foundations of our friendship and leave it un-repairable – let her make her own mistakes, it’s her life to live. If she decides that this is what she wants you need to respect that. He has never been abusive to her; she says she is happy so leave it. It just hurts my heart to watch someone so incredible, who means so much to me, give so much of herself to someone who doesn’t seem to give AF about her in the way she does about them. It really hurts my heart.

Like I say, this person is not a bad person, I can hang out with them quite easily, I just have my doubts on their intentions and their behaviours.

 

What would you do in my situation? HELP ME.

 

XOXO

 

Micks

Pick the weeds, keep the flowers.

Like most, I have dealt with my fair share of ‘shady’ and ‘toxic’ people over my 27 years. There were those friendships and relationships that started as all good things do, then at some point it all went a bit, well, a bit Pete tong. I’ve always believed that it is at that point that you really see who someone is – when it goes wrong that is when people show you their ‘true self’.

 

Life is unpredictable, you don’t need to be a genius to know that, and you want to make sure you have good people around you when the shit hits the fan. Over the years I have got pretty good at differentiating between the weeds and flowers.

 

I am a lot more guarded with people now than I was when I was fresh out of school but my inner hippy still wants to believe in the potential good in people and, to quote a friend, “that blinds you to who they really are and you end up being disappointed and then shutting everyone else out”. It’s true, too many times in the past I’ve put flowers in an asshole and called it a vase. (I’m not quite sure where all these plant references are coming from but we’ll just go with it)

 

I really thought that I’d mastered being able to tell the difference between the good and the bad though like, I was almost at 5 years clean! 5 years with no weeds. A record for me, but, alas, it became apparent recently that this was not the case.

 

I’m still pretty proud of the 5 years clean though, I’d mainly done that by only letting a few newbies in and also doing something that we never seem to do – trust our gut. I always get a ‘vibe’ from people who I am with –how this vibe makes me feel will determine if I put you in the ‘hi ya’ or ‘bye-ya’ basket.

If I’m unsure then I’ll generally go quiet and then observe them. Like David Attenborough watching a gazelle in Africa. I sit patiently and wait, they show their true self in the end.

 

The following 5 are normally the most obvious (although they may not display them frequently or at the same time) clues that they are sucky people. You don’t need sucky people in your life, there is enough going on.

 

They only seem to be around or in touch when they need something

 

This, generally, won’t be a straight away thing. This will creep in later on. Of course there is give and take in any relationship/friendship and we all go through phases of taking more than we give but when you get to the point of wondering what the relationship brings to your life that’s the time to think about getting out.

 

They enjoy stirring trouble up between other people

 

The thing that is perhaps scariest of all, is that some of these people don’t appear to see the negative impact they have on other people by doing this. Those of them that do, who are perhaps the grossest kind of human, seem to derive a bizarre satisfaction from the stress and chaos that they have created. Do you really want to be associated with someone like that? Someone that causes trouble for the sake of it isn’t going to be in your corner when your life takes a turn; they’ll be grabbing popcorn and watching it all unfold.

 

They find ways to slyly make you feel like shit about yourself

 

It could be a look, a tone in their voice when they mention something you’re wearing/ doing etc . It is always very subtle and normally when you are in a group so they have an audience see them ‘put you in your place’. Sometimes people are just too blunt about how you look; your weight, your hair, your spots.
It’s fine though because they are your friend and they are ‘just joking’. Right?

 

 

You catch them in a lie / They are fake af

 

Think Mean Girls. Regina George and that is the ugliest ‘effin skirt I have ever seen. If you have no clue what I’m talking about then see below ( and then go watch Mean Girls).

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The lies are always believable at first but sooner or later they start to unravel. When you call them on it YOU are the bad person, not them. Ok then…

 

When you’re done hanging out you always feel like shit.

 

Not necessarily related to number 3. This is more about how you feel physically when you leave them. There are those people who just seem to drain you of your energy and leave you feeling super bleurgh. Headaches, nausea… these can be a sign of a dodgy friend as well as a dodgy lunch.

 

We are all so so busy, that sometimes weeds will sneak into our lovely gardens. For the most part we have all decent, honest, kind, funny, uplifting people in our lives. It is only natural. It is also natural to always want to defend our ‘friends’ because we think they are just that, a friend. You’ve known them for a long time maybe, or maybe it’s easier to keep them around for whatever reason.

 

If having them in your life is detrimental to your happiness – it is not ok. It is not easier to have them around. If you really must keep them in your life, please recognize them and keep them at arm’s length.

 

If you take just one thing from this post please let it be this. When people show you their true self and it is sucky, DROP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND RUN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION.

YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE! THEY WILL NOT CHANGE FOR YOU OR BECAUSE OF YOU. THEY WILL ONLY CHANGE WHEN THEY ARE FULLY READY TO AND REALISE THEIR BEHAVIOUR IS SUCKY, AND THIS MAY BE NEVER. DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES FOR THEM BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST ENABLING THEM AND THEIR BEHAVIOUR.

THEY ARE NOT DIFFERENT WHEN THEY ARE WITH YOU.

Sorry for the all caps, I just feel very strongly about this.

 

 

I’m going to take a wild guess now and say that, if you have been thinking about someone in particular as you have been reading then, chances are, you’ve found/ recognise a weed.

Don’t bury your head in the sand, take note and say see ya later, pal! You will feel better for it, I promise (I have done/do).

 

Happy weeding!!

 

 

Xoxo Micks

 

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#100HAPPYDAYS

#100daysofhappy. #100happydays. #100daysofhappiness. Happy happy happy.

I have recently started doing the 100 days of happy challenge on social media which, on day 12, I am sure some people are already bored of seeing, the rest of you wait on tenterhooks for my daily postings, don’t you? You little loves. I always knew I liked you.

This trend has got some stick for making people look at ‘boring’ posts on social media, that whilst the challenge has great intentions it should be kept private as those that dreamt it up state on their website state it is ‘for you’ and social media is just that – social. No one wants to see the daily pictures or posts of things that have made you happy – because no one else cares that seeing your friend for dinner or starting that book made you happy. You know what I say to those people? STOP BEING A PARTY POOPER.

Frank in ‘Father of the Bride II’ (what? It’s a cool film!!) taught us all that every party has a pooper but on this one occasion, this one time, I am taking a stand. NO PARTY POOPERS ALLOWED. If you don’t like people like me posting what you consider boring and mundane things that make us smile then, honey, hit that unfollow/unfriend button because I’d rather you left this party than sat there in the corner being a bitter Becky about it; even if you have got good hair.

Different people have different reasons for starting the challenge. A lot of people have spoken about wanting to see more positivity on social media, some have started because they don’t feel they have time to be thankful or happy so this gives them that time, and some people have done it just for the craic. Me? I did it because I needed to check myself. Honestly, I needed a lesson in gratitude. I am being pulled in a lot of different directions at the moment (I know, I know boohoo) and I was beginning to feel bitter and begrudge giving people my time and energy. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone for a year or two so I could catch up on my sleep and get back to feeling semi-healthy. I was exhausted, suffering with nausea and awful dizziness that just wouldn’t budge. I was becoming the previously described party pooper. Those friends that really needed me, it became something of a chore to be there for them – something that I hate to admit but it was the truth. I only wanted to see a select few people. Most of who live nowhere near me then when I realised this I became annoyed about this.

My darling Linda was trying to help me from her home in LA LA with remedies for dizziness and reminded me of the book she gifted me a year or so back called ‘The Magic’. The basic premise of the book is that thoughts become things; you need to take a moment each day to be thankful for what you have. The more you are thankful, the more good things come your way. Gratitude is the key to a happy life. I had originally opened the book to look at the health chapter but quickly realised that it wasn’t just my health that needed a look at. My attitude did too. The negative attitude I had recently copped wasn’t helping anyone and that I needed a serious lesson in gratitude. Just like anyone else I get tired and snappy and am not a joy to be around – normally that was restricted to early mornings and late nights but somehow it had spilled over to all day, everyday. I wanted this to change; I will always try and choose positive over negative and pessimistic people are my least favourite people. People that constantly feel sorry for themselves and feel the world owes them something are the absolute worst. So how had I become one of them? How would I change it?

That was when I recalled seeing various friends’ previously posting #100happydays and decided to Google it, twenty minutes later I was on the mailing list and had planned to start the next day.

That was just under two weeks ago and you know what, it’s worked! 12 days in and I am already feeling lighter in myself, getting back to where I need to be so I can be the best version of myself and live my best life with the people who mean the most to me. I’m feeling much more sociable, less sorry for myself but still as sleepy. Hey, some things never change. Once a sleepyhead, always a sleepyhead.

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HERE’S TO THE NEXT 88 DAYS OF HAPPY.

Xoxo

Micks

p.s let me know your ‘happy’ moment from today

p.p.s 100happydays.com is the site you need if you want to start it yourself. HAPPY POSTING

 

 

 

 

The TayTay Wedding

In case you missed my posts on social media I have just returned from a fabulous few days down on the farm in Kings Lynn. The delightful Amy Jayne Nelson married the delightful Peter James Taylor…oops I mean James Peter Taylor to become the new Mrs. TayTay and I was lucky enough to be apart of their special day.

There were 6 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen. The bridesmaids, or bridesbabes as we nicknamed ourselves; Emma (Amy’s big sister), Sammy, Nat and Alice (Amy’s friends from school) and Byng and I (who Amy met at uni).

Not only did Ams ask me to be part of her wedding – but also her and Mr. TayTay asked me to write something to be read during the ceremony. Now, I must confess, when I was asked to write something I was under the impression that someone else would be reading it so I was like yes, of course! Whilst drafting it out I sent the first little bit to Amy for her and James to look at because I wanted to make sure that it was along the lines of what they were looking for before I carried on. The readings are an important part of the ceremony, they break it all up and you want them to sentimental but also interesting – I mean no one likes pure cheese do they? You don’t want to be sick in your mouth during the ceremony! So I was both delighted and a little bit sick when a message came saying ‘yes we love it, please can you read it too?’

My immediate reaction was ‘hmmm about that…’ It was fine when someone else was reading it but now I had to I was pooping my pants! Of course I said yes though, it was lovely to be asked (and trusted) to do this – especially when I found out that I would be, essentially ‘opening’ for want of a better word, the entire ceremony. The registrar would do her H+S/turn off phones bit and then I would speak before dashing out to walk in with the rest of the girldem. But, as Amy said, I write how I talk so it wouldn’t sound right coming from anyone else.

I am not one of those girls who have ever thought about getting married or thought about what she’d want her wedding to be like. Until recently I thought that I wouldn’t want to get married. I have since realised that I would like the marriage, just not the wedding. Too much hassle for me, I’d rather elope and then come back and a have a big party. So much thought went into The Taylor’s day. From the pictures of them growing up along the ivy draped windowsills, to the world’s coolest place settings, everything was perfect. It was amazing to see their vision come together within a matter of hours on Friday.

Friday night the majority of the bridesmaids stayed at Amy’s (the guys were kicked out) and we had pizza, talked, laughed, painted nails, swapped surprises, had a pillow fight (just kidding) and enjoyed the fine specimen that is Tom Hardy in the movie Legend; because clearly a movie about the Kray Twins is essential pre-wedding viewing.

I was woken Saturday morning by the gorgeous Fudge (Amy’s dog) licking my face, and it was go go go. The day went so quickly, we were getting hair and make up done, the photographer arrived (he was a complete G), we got dressed, we got to the venue… before we knew it we were watching Amy and James exchanging vows, then stuffing our faces on canapés, having photos taken, eating a delicious dinner, abusing the sweetie cart and the free bar, watching the first dance before joining them on the dance floor to throw some serious shapes. It was a magical day. I haven’t had so much fun for a while.

Some people are very skeptical of love; I can be one of them. I may enjoy Disney movies and any love story with a happy ending, but I know that reality isn’t like that. However, being around Amy and James it is hard to be skeptical about it and the idea of there being someone for everyone. Their love for each other is overwhelming and you just need to see them together for 5 minutes to see how much they completely adore and compliment one another.

I had such an amazing weekend and I am so thankful and pleased that the happy couple decided to include me in their celebrations as they enter married life together. I am also so thankful to them for bringing my fellow bridesbabes into my life – I do believe I made some new friends. They are all beautiful girls, both inside and out.

Two years in the making and now the wedding is over and married life begins.

Thank you for giving me memories that will last a lifetime Amy and James.

Here’s to you!

xoxo

Micks

Below is a copy of my reading and some pics from the wedding. Enjoy!

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My speech/reading.

 

 

 

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Scrubs up alright, don’t she ; )

 

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My treats from the wedding. My bouquet, a tub of sweets and half a bottle of tequila. Shot anyone?

And lastly…

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The new Mr and Mrs Taylor.