A letter to the heartbroken.

To my friend that is heartbroken,

There isn’t really anything that I can say that will make you feel better right now. Heartbreak and heartaches are shit. There is no sugar-coating that. It fucking sucks. It reeeeeeeeally fucking sucks. It doesn’t matter whether the relationship was a healthy one, it doesn’t matter how long you were together, it doesn’t matter how it ended… heartbreak is heartbreak. What matters is that you allow yourself time to heal. Whether the heartbreak is fresh in the last week, or whether it happened 6 months ago, don’t feel that you have to rush to get over it – we all heal at different rates. There is no timeline to get over someone. You just have to ride it out.

One thing I have learnt during MY heartaches is this – you need to feel it. Distractions are ok for a while but eventually the hurt will catch up with you and then you’ll hate yourself for still being upset over something that you had fooled everyone else (and possibly even yourself) in to thinking you were over. You’re allowed to be hurt. You’re allowed to cry. You’re allowed to have days where you stay in bed and bury your face in your palms getting lost in memories of happier times, all whilst you search for the answers you may never get. You’re allowed to feel like you will never laugh again, like you will never love again. You’re allowed to be hurt, upset, confused and all of that. It’s ok not to be ok. Anyone that tells you any different is wrong.

Remember in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows when Ron is a total douchebag and leaves Harry and Hermione? He was allowed to be a douchebag because he had a horcrux around his neck – the boy you were with did not. He was a douchebag because he is a douchebag and honey, douchebags like that don’t change. Please don’t stop seeing the magic in the world. More importantly, don’t stop seeing the magic in you – there is so much that is special about you.

When you ARE happy again (and you will be happy again, promise) you will look back at the hard times and be thankful for where you are now and how you got there. No one is without hard times and heartache, no one. Own your hard times, life is made up of them and what we do with them is what matters. You might not see the day now but I promise that one day you’ll get into bed at night and realise that you haven’t cried all day, that will turn into a week, then a month. It will be then that you will realise you’re going to be ok and that will be a great day (one that we can celebrate with tequila).

I have also come to learn that nothing is taken away without being replaced. I don’t mean that you will have a new love interest straight away (maybe you will, who knows?) but you will have something. Maybe right now you are not supposed to be in a relationship with anyone else but yourself. Maybe it’s time to replace your love for him, with love for you. Perhaps this is your time to find yourself independently from anyone else and you’re meant to enjoy it for what it is. Your time, for you. Time to remember how fucking rad you are! How much you have to offer the world! Not a bad replacement if you ask me. Building a life that is different from the one you had planned out for yourself is scary, but also exciting. Who knows what adventures life will take you on now – embrace the uncertainty. If you don’t know where you’re going, you can’t get lost!

I can’t promise you that there will be no more heartbreak for you in the future but I can promise this. – I will be there.

I will be there to sit with you in silence whilst you cry.

I will be on the end of the phone whilst you wonder out loud for the seventieth time if you could have done something different so that things didn’t end the way they did.

My friend Tequila and I will be there on the nights you want to just forget about the hurt in your heart and laugh and dance as if you hadn’t a care in the world.

I will be there when you decide you’ve done enough crying and you are ready to pick yourself and your heart up and try again.

I will be there when you realise that pain will always be a memory, but that memories aren’t always painful.

I will be there when the sun finally comes through the clouds and you start to really smile and laugh again. On the days the sun fades I will be there to dance in the rain with you.

When you get to the stage when you can smile at the past and flirt with the future… you got it, I’ll be there.

Remember, your laughter tastes better than your tears and time really does heal all wounds. Make that your mantra. Time heals. Time heals. Time heals.

screen-shot-2017-02-15-at-21-01-20

I can’t wait for the day when you turn to me and say, “I can’t believe me and my little ole heart survived that”; because I know you can do it. We all do. We all know you have it in you; you just need to believe you do too.

I promise you that you WILL get over this, no matter how long it takes.

When you’re ready, your new life will be waiting for you and it will be more than you ever dreamed it could be.

Go get it, gurl!

 

cropped-fullsizerender-5.jpg

 

Hello, it’s me in 50 questions.

Happy Sunday! 

It’s Jan 15th 2017 which means it’s been a week since I last posted so here we are again. 

A while ago I answered ’50 questions if you really want to get to know who someone really is’ after I stumbled across a Thought Catalogue article of the same name. Well, I’m back doing the same thing. This time the article was written by Kendra Syrdal, again it was published on Thought Catalogue. That website is like crack for me, I lose hours reading people’s thoughts (go figure, it’s called thought catalogue) on love, life and why. I’ll post links at the bottom for the website and article but for now, here’s my answers to  ‘Your one word answers to these 50 Questions will reveal exactly who you are’ (as posed by Kendra)…

What’s the first thing you grab for in the morning? 

Normally my glass of water which I always have next to my bed, then my phone. 

Who’s your biggest inspiration in life? 

Diane. 

What do you think people notice the most about you? 

Big forehead 😂 or boobs or maybe that I’m the size of an Oompa Loompa. 


What do you hope people notice most about you? 

Physically, my height cause, you know, I like being small and it’s better than my big forehead. 

What is your biggest weakness/flaw? 

There’s two – how quickly I get bored and that I am very guarded and it can come off as being rude. 

What is your biggest strength?

My loyalty, for sure. 

What to you is the perfect, most ideal age to be? 

30

High school. Awesome or terrible? 

Err… more awesome, I guess.

Cats or dogs? 

DOGS  🐶 

Adjective that best describes you when you’re drunk

Sassy with a side of emosh (depends how drunk I am) 

Why do you love your best friend so much? 

Everything about them. In one word?  kindness.  

Where do you want to go more than any other place in the world? 

Machu Picchu 


Beaches or Snow? 

Beaches

What’s your absolute, number one, biggest pet peeve? 

Bad manners

What is the one personality trait you simply have no time for? 

Pessimissim

Zodiac, MBT1 or Birth Order? Which is the one you lean towards? 

Zodiac – I’m a Gemini 


Do you believe in something after death? 

Yes

How does someone instantaneously get on your good side? 

Make me laugh 

How about your bad side? 

By being rude

How do you hope you’re described by people when you’re not around? 

An adventurer 

What is your favourite attribute about yourself?

My positivity 

Is it ok to sleep with socks on? 

Yes

Coffee or tea?

TEA ALL DAY


How many dates until you feel it’s ok to have sex with someone? 

No set number. Whenever you both feel ready 

What is your love language? 

Brb gotta take an online test to find out…

Ok, apparently it’s ‘Quality Time’ and ‘Acts of service’ 

Do you or do you not believe in ghosts? 

I do

Twitter, Facebook or Instagram? 

Instagram 

Favourite Artist?

Oscar-Claude Monet (I think that’s the type of artist they mean? ) 


Odd numbers or even numbers? 

Even 

Do you believe in organising or letting things just happen? 

A healthy mix of both

Are you more right brained or left brained? 

Whichever one is the logical side.

Which do you prefer, logic or creativity? 

A healthy mix of both

Do you think opposites truly attract? 

Yes

What is your Hogwarts house? 

Ravenclaw (though I always assumed Slytherin – gotta love Pottermore for sorting that question out for everyone) 

Ask for permission or ask for forgiveness? 

Forgiveness


Do you think chemistry is instant or grows with time? 

Varies but overall I think it’s instant.

Do you trust someone until proven otherwise or do you think trust has to be earned no matter what? 

I generally trust until proven otherwise 

Are there situations in which you think lying is ok and understandable? 

Yes

Comfortable silences or non-stop conversation? 

Comfortable silences

Do you believe in date or do you think we’re in control of our circumstances? 

Both 

Love or Money? 

💞

Impulsive or methodical? 

Methodical 

Are you pro-technology/ constantly connected or do you think digital detoxes are super necessary?

Necessary 

Do you think it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? 

In hindsight, loved and lost.

Do you question things even if it will bother someone or do you try to not rock the boat? 

Question things. Always.

TV shows or Movies? 

Movies (I think) 

Books or magazine? 

Books

Which is more preferable being nice or being fair? 

Being fair 

Describe what would bring you the ultimate happiness in life.

Finding my place in this world, wherever that is and whomever that is with. 
Soooooo there you have it. Done and done! ✅ 

I got part the way through and realised I was meant o be answering with one word so I did my best to… some of it is hard though. It needs an explanation. 

As always I’d love to hear your answers. 

See ya next week!

Xoxo Micks 

Websites 

http://www.thoughtcatalogue.com

http://www.pottermore.com 

5lovelanguages.com 

Kendra’s article 

http://thoughtcatalog.com/kendra-syrdal/2017/01/your-one-word-answer-to-these-50-questions-will-reveal-exactly-who-you-are/ 

Quotes to live by

Last night, I was on Instagram and came across a post that said something along the lines of

“I never said that! – signed, Marilyn Monroe, Buddha, Kurt Cobain, Bob Marley etc”

and, after I’d finished chuckling at it, because we all know the so-called sources of the millions of quotes batted around should be take with a pinch of salt, I got to thinking about what seism to be the explosion of quotes, as social media has exploded so has the amount of quotes we see. You could search #quote right now on instagram and you would see 21,563,189 posts with that hashtag (at least on 16/04/15 at 3pm you would have) . That’s not counting all the other hashtags that are related like #quotestoliveby #quotestagram #quoteoftheday #quotemeonthat…. the list is endless.

Words are powerful things.
I remember once seeing an interview with the Fresh Prince himself, Will Smith, on The Ellen DeGenres show in the States and she was asking him about his kids education and his response was that he always encourages his children to read, he tells them if they have a problem, read – because there is someone, somewhere that has been through it before. I thought this was a pretty cool advice, not just for his kids, but for people in general.

It seems everyone loves a quote, where we used to soul search through reading , or through talking with friends and family, nowadays all it can take is a good quote to give us a kick up the bum, or calm us, or re focus us and our energies. The main message of the most recent live action Disney movie, Cinderella (which is AMAZING, just FYI), is the quote “Have Courage, and Be Kind” – a pretty good hashtag quote to live by, I’m sure you’ll agree. My cousin Katie, has even said she is going to bring up her little princess on those words.

I, myself, am a big fan of quotes and therefore have decide to share with you guys my top ten quotes to live by.

  1. A day without laughter is a day wasted – Unknown

Anyone who knows me knows I love to laugh. My theme tune could be “I love to laugh” from Mary Poppins. IT’S JUST SUCH FUN! I completely believe this and make sure I achieve this every day, life can be such a shitter at times but if you can laugh your way through it, you’re doing something right.

  1. Happiness can be found in even the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light – Albus Dumbledore

Ever the optimist, I am a glass half full kind of gal. The silver lining can be found in pretty much any situation, and you just need to focus on that to get you through it.

  1. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent – Eleanor Roosevelt

I love this quote SO much. We all seem to put so much on what other people think of us, how we come across. When people don’t see us they way we see ourselves, or say something negative or derogatory about us it can leave scars for days, if not years. We worry incessantly about what people, some of whom we’ll either, never see again or don’t even like, think. WHY DO WE DO IT? It is the most ridiculous thing. I’m guilty of it, and I’d bet you all are too. I take my hats off to those who can say they don’t worry what others think and are 100% honest with that. So long as the life your living is yours, do what you want. Who cares what Joe Bloggs thinks? You’ve no one to answer to but yourself (and maybe your Mum. And the Police).

  1. We accept the love we think we deserve – Stephen Chobsky

A simple but great quote from one of the most quotable books ever written: The Perks Of Being A Wallflower (a must read for all those book worms out there). When you know you deserve to be treated as an equal, with respect, compassion, love – that’s all you’ll accept from any person, and any relationship. If you allow someone to mistreat you, yes it makes that person an ass for doing it in the first place, but what does it say about how you view yourself? If you respected yourself more, you’d know you are worth so much more than that – you deserve the best because you are the best!

  1. The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude to the problem – Captain Jack Sparrow

I consider myself a positive person, not like Santa at DisneyLand on Prozac kind of positive but I try and find the best in each situation, and i have done ever since the worst year of my life so far (2011 for those that want to know) I learnt a lot about myself and my limits, and what I accept from the people around me. Ever since then when I have a situation I’m unhappy with I try and change it, if I can’t change it then I accept it, and get on with it. Some things you can’t change, there is no point in being bitter or angry about it – you’re just wasting your energy.

  1. it’s OK to be angry, it’s never ok to be cruel – unknown

Exactly as it says. We all get angry, we all get pissed off and say things in the spur of the moment. Things we later regret but you can’t recover the word after it’s said. Your anger will fade but the sting and memory of the words you said to whomever you said it to, will not. I still remember words said to me 6 years ago in arguments, hell I can even recall hurtful things said to me by my sister when I was still in school. I’ve never been one to physically fight, but damn I can be a right bitch and a spiteful one with my words if I want to be. So when I get the urge (which is once in a blue moon, I’m happy to say) to be spiteful because someone has pissed me off, I take 5 and calm down and remind myself of this.

  1. Pissing in my yard ain’t gonna make yours any greener – lyric from ‘Biscuits’ by Kacey Musgraves

Again, this is about being wise with your words. Stereotypically girls are bitches, but I think boys are just as prone to bringing people down because they are jealous. We’ve all been on the receiving end of jealous comments at some point, even if we didn’t realise it. This whole song is about focusing on yourself and what you have going on, rather than focusing on what your neighbour is doing and hating on that. You can live your life tryna belittle others, but that doesn’t make you any bigger or better than them. Pissin’ in someone elses yard aint gonna make yours any greener. The only way to be better is to focus on and continually improve yourself. Focus on you.

  1. You can’t make people love you. Either they do or they don’t. The End. – Keltie Knight nee Colleen

As someone who has an innate need to be liked this is one of the hardest lessons I’m learning. Sometimes people don’t like you, it’s nothing you’ve done. They just don’t, for reasons unknown. So rather than worrying about those people, spend time and make memories with those that do. They are the ones that matter.

  1. Don’t you ever regret knowing someone in your life. Good people will give you happiness, bad people will give you experience while the worst people will give you a lesson and the best people will always give you memories – Unknown

Every person comes in to your life for a reason, they can be a lesson or a blessing. You’ve just got to wait it out to see which one they are. Appreciate the good. Forget the bad, but don’t forget what you learnt.

  1. You only live once but, if you do it right, once is enough – unknown

This is one of Rachpal’s favourite quotes and I love it. You only get one life, so live it how you want to, go grab it by the horns. Money is temporary, memories are priceless. As Drake says, YOLO – that’s the motto.

Xoxo

Micks

this originally posted on my tumblr account: micksmusings.tumblr.com