The Women Who Made Me

 

Ladies, in case you didn’t know – Wednesday is OUR day.

International Women’s Day. A whole day to celebrate us because, being honest, we’re pretty bloody great aren’t we? I find so much to admire about my gender and the people who fall into it. I’ve been lucky to have been around some pretty fabulous women my whole life. I am a combination of these women; their lives, experiences and influence have helped shape me in to the woman I am today.

The women who made me come from everywhere. All over. Some real, some make-believe. Some I know personally. Some I don’t. Their influence on my life has been no less because I don’t know them on a personal level, or because they are the figment of someone’s imagination.

I am surrounded daily by women whom I admire, women who have traits and qualities I covet, women that teach me things about myself and the world, that influence me in all areas of my life. The women I surround myself with are my biggest cheerleaders, my biggest challengers. Badasses, the lot of ’em!

The women I am about to write about are the women that I feel had the biggest influence on turning the painfully shy, socially awkward Michaela into the less shy and slightly less socially awkward Michaela I am today in the years when I was still trying to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be.

 

My Mum – the ever delightful Mazza.

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Those of you that know me well would know to expect to find my mum on this list. What can I say about the woman who raised me? She’s fuckin’ nuts. She really is. Aside from the standard ‘mum’ lessons that most mums instill in their children, the biggest thing she has taught me is to laugh. Life is there to be enjoyed; laughter is the best medicine. She taught me humility and gave me the gift of being able to laugh at myself. She gave me my love for music – without which I would be completely lost. Music is my best therapy, aside from writing, and there are many times in my life – without sounding too dramatic – that music has saved me from feeling too lonely and lost.

 

My siblings.

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My sisters also deserve their own shout out because they too have had a hand in making me who I am. I am really mix of both of them. They have both always been very protective of me as the youngest child. Melanie is loud and strong, stubborn as a mule – traits that have definitely rubbed off on me. Melissa is quiet, shy and can be quite conservative, I have those sides of me too. One thing that I have gained from these betches is balance. As I said I am a mix of the two of them – so whilst I can be stubborn I am often the one that helps Melanie see the other side of the story and that goes for situations I find myself in too. Being able to see both sides is a trait I’m proud I possess. Melissa has helped me developed my “fake it till you make it façade” – when I push the status quo too far Melissa is there as my moral compass, keeping me on the straight and narrow.

 

Cinderella

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 Cinderella was my favourite Disney princess growing up. She was kind, gentle and she persevered through a mass amount of abuse from her stepmother and step sisters, and she still managed to come through the entire ordeal without wishing them any harm or wrongdoing. The animals were her friends. She lived in harmony with them – she even treated Lucifer (I hated that cat) with respect. She was soft but strong. Something that I aspire to be, even now. She was the lesson that whilst you cannot always change your circumstances or how people treat you, you can make the best of the situation – you can control your reaction to it.

Miss Glover/ Miss Meredith/ Miss Rao / Miss Brown.

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I have no pictures of my old teachers so here is one of Miss Honey from Matilda.

Miss Glover – Year 2 and 3 teacher

Miss Meredith – Year 6 teacher

Miss Brown – Biology teacher in Year 8 and 9

Miss Rao – Psychology teacher in years 12 and 13

These women are the female teachers that made me love school and learning. At 27, I still love to learn. Without sounding arrogant I was a bright student; academically I was above average in everything, except perhaps I. T (I still hate technology). I was however a lazy student – if the subject matter did not interest me, or the teacher was not engaging I would switch off and there was no going back. I fluked my way through all my GCSE and A-Level exams; rarely looking at revision books or notes.

Miss Glover was the first teacher that made me enjoy learning – she coaxed answers out of me in front of the whole class, something which no other teacher had been able to do. I was so shy in my first years at school that I would tell my friend what I thought and she would tell the teacher and rest of the class, until Miss Glover came along. To this day I still have no idea how she did it.

Miss Meredith was the first teacher I really looked up to. I remember just really liking her and would have happily stayed at school long after the bell rang when I was in her class.

As those of you that have met me know I am shorter than average. 5’1 to be exact. Of course growing up I was aware that I was much smaller than most of my class mates and it was never something that gave me much trauma but I was always very aware of it. Miss Brown was also a petite lady but she more than made up for it in attitude and she helped me see that being short didn’t mean you had to be ignored – you could still be short and sassy. She helped me learn how to own my height and be comfortable with it.

Miss Rao gave me my love for all things psychology related. Even now the human brain and psyche fascinate me. I love to observe people and find out why they do what they do, mental health issues and diseases fascinate me. I also just remember her being so cool for a teacher. She was young when she taught me, maybe mid twenties. She loved to travel in the holidays and would come back and tell us all these stories of what she’d done and where she’d been. I was just in awe of her and her confidence and how she carried herself – she really made being intelligent (and passionate about things) cool.

 

Keltie Knight nee Colleen.

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Keltie is an entertainment journalist based out of LA. She used to be a dancer and has danced with everyone from Beyoncé to Kanye, Panic at the Disco to Christina Perri.

I was going through a really tough time when I found Keltie online, it was around 2010 that I began to follow her. She used to send out emails to her blog followers called ‘Moonbeams’ – a weekly lesson or thought. She has provided me with food for thought for the last 8 years and continues to do so now. She has reminded me time and again that people need other people and spreading happiness can be effortless.

Her book “Rockette, Rockstars and Rockbottom” taught me to own my vulnerabilities, to not be ashamed of the bad times and the sadness that surrounds them. That it’s ok to be sad and have a pity party every now and again but you can’t stay there – you have to get up and fight again.

Diane Alice Lorraine.

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Funny story: when I met Diane I didn’t like her. She hired me when I was 17, buggered off to run another store for a couple of months, came back and I hated her. I still remember the first thing she ever said to me and where it was. Fast forward 10 years and I’d be completely bloody lost without her. She’s put up with the majority of my crap over the years, calling me out on my shit when it’s needed and providing me with some much-needed pep talks. The one thing Diane has taught me, I think more than anything, is that it is ok to want more. Some people are happy to settle but it’s ok not to. As a girl from a working class background that grew up on a council estate people would expect me to settle – so many do, Diane made me see it’s ok not to. In fact she actively encouraged me not to. Thanks, C**t.

Marina Diamandis of Marina and the Diamonds

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“Are you satisfied with an average life?”

“Look like a girl but I think like a guy”

“Can’t let your cold heart be free,
When you act like you’ve got an OCD”

“It’s okay to say you’ve got a weak spot
You don’t always have to be on top
Better to be hated
Than loved loved loved for what you’re not”

Marina was the first female singer / songwriter that I related to – her lyrics where about everything from not feeling good enough, mental health issues, being bored with what society demanded of females and the standard idea of beauty we see in gossip magazines. Of course she wasn’t the first EVER female to sing about these things but she was the first I related to from my age bracket that I listened to. Her lyrics could have come out of my journal, even my friends have remarked over the years that her songs ‘could be about you’. Especially her song ‘Girls” of which Marina herself has said: Of her song

“It’s a call for women to stop being their own enemies. These days you’re either a nun or a whore, to be both and neither, all in one. I want to help redefine women’s place in society.” I love her.

 

These are, of course, a handful of the women that helped make me who I am. I have 4 Aunts who each have played their part in who I am. Up to the age of 20 they and those name above were without a doubt the biggest players in making me, well, me. There are friends that I have made over the years too that have played a part. Becky was my first best friend, Rebecca in middle school – I remember many a sleepover at her house, Neysa in secondary school – she helped me find my singing voice, encouraged me to join the choir which led to many more memories… I could sit here all day and list the women that made me, everyone that has influenced me. The list would be never-ending because I guess in a way, everyone we come into contact with impacts us. We are the people we surround ourselves with.

 

To the women that have made me, thank you!

To the women I know and surround myself with – thank you!

To women all over the world – you matter, your stories matter and you fucking ROCK.

 

Here’s to having a vagina!

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xoxo Micks

Quotes to live by

Last night, I was on Instagram and came across a post that said something along the lines of

“I never said that! – signed, Marilyn Monroe, Buddha, Kurt Cobain, Bob Marley etc”

and, after I’d finished chuckling at it, because we all know the so-called sources of the millions of quotes batted around should be take with a pinch of salt, I got to thinking about what seism to be the explosion of quotes, as social media has exploded so has the amount of quotes we see. You could search #quote right now on instagram and you would see 21,563,189 posts with that hashtag (at least on 16/04/15 at 3pm you would have) . That’s not counting all the other hashtags that are related like #quotestoliveby #quotestagram #quoteoftheday #quotemeonthat…. the list is endless.

Words are powerful things.
I remember once seeing an interview with the Fresh Prince himself, Will Smith, on The Ellen DeGenres show in the States and she was asking him about his kids education and his response was that he always encourages his children to read, he tells them if they have a problem, read – because there is someone, somewhere that has been through it before. I thought this was a pretty cool advice, not just for his kids, but for people in general.

It seems everyone loves a quote, where we used to soul search through reading , or through talking with friends and family, nowadays all it can take is a good quote to give us a kick up the bum, or calm us, or re focus us and our energies. The main message of the most recent live action Disney movie, Cinderella (which is AMAZING, just FYI), is the quote “Have Courage, and Be Kind” – a pretty good hashtag quote to live by, I’m sure you’ll agree. My cousin Katie, has even said she is going to bring up her little princess on those words.

I, myself, am a big fan of quotes and therefore have decide to share with you guys my top ten quotes to live by.

  1. A day without laughter is a day wasted – Unknown

Anyone who knows me knows I love to laugh. My theme tune could be “I love to laugh” from Mary Poppins. IT’S JUST SUCH FUN! I completely believe this and make sure I achieve this every day, life can be such a shitter at times but if you can laugh your way through it, you’re doing something right.

  1. Happiness can be found in even the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light – Albus Dumbledore

Ever the optimist, I am a glass half full kind of gal. The silver lining can be found in pretty much any situation, and you just need to focus on that to get you through it.

  1. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent – Eleanor Roosevelt

I love this quote SO much. We all seem to put so much on what other people think of us, how we come across. When people don’t see us they way we see ourselves, or say something negative or derogatory about us it can leave scars for days, if not years. We worry incessantly about what people, some of whom we’ll either, never see again or don’t even like, think. WHY DO WE DO IT? It is the most ridiculous thing. I’m guilty of it, and I’d bet you all are too. I take my hats off to those who can say they don’t worry what others think and are 100% honest with that. So long as the life your living is yours, do what you want. Who cares what Joe Bloggs thinks? You’ve no one to answer to but yourself (and maybe your Mum. And the Police).

  1. We accept the love we think we deserve – Stephen Chobsky

A simple but great quote from one of the most quotable books ever written: The Perks Of Being A Wallflower (a must read for all those book worms out there). When you know you deserve to be treated as an equal, with respect, compassion, love – that’s all you’ll accept from any person, and any relationship. If you allow someone to mistreat you, yes it makes that person an ass for doing it in the first place, but what does it say about how you view yourself? If you respected yourself more, you’d know you are worth so much more than that – you deserve the best because you are the best!

  1. The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude to the problem – Captain Jack Sparrow

I consider myself a positive person, not like Santa at DisneyLand on Prozac kind of positive but I try and find the best in each situation, and i have done ever since the worst year of my life so far (2011 for those that want to know) I learnt a lot about myself and my limits, and what I accept from the people around me. Ever since then when I have a situation I’m unhappy with I try and change it, if I can’t change it then I accept it, and get on with it. Some things you can’t change, there is no point in being bitter or angry about it – you’re just wasting your energy.

  1. it’s OK to be angry, it’s never ok to be cruel – unknown

Exactly as it says. We all get angry, we all get pissed off and say things in the spur of the moment. Things we later regret but you can’t recover the word after it’s said. Your anger will fade but the sting and memory of the words you said to whomever you said it to, will not. I still remember words said to me 6 years ago in arguments, hell I can even recall hurtful things said to me by my sister when I was still in school. I’ve never been one to physically fight, but damn I can be a right bitch and a spiteful one with my words if I want to be. So when I get the urge (which is once in a blue moon, I’m happy to say) to be spiteful because someone has pissed me off, I take 5 and calm down and remind myself of this.

  1. Pissing in my yard ain’t gonna make yours any greener – lyric from ‘Biscuits’ by Kacey Musgraves

Again, this is about being wise with your words. Stereotypically girls are bitches, but I think boys are just as prone to bringing people down because they are jealous. We’ve all been on the receiving end of jealous comments at some point, even if we didn’t realise it. This whole song is about focusing on yourself and what you have going on, rather than focusing on what your neighbour is doing and hating on that. You can live your life tryna belittle others, but that doesn’t make you any bigger or better than them. Pissin’ in someone elses yard aint gonna make yours any greener. The only way to be better is to focus on and continually improve yourself. Focus on you.

  1. You can’t make people love you. Either they do or they don’t. The End. – Keltie Knight nee Colleen

As someone who has an innate need to be liked this is one of the hardest lessons I’m learning. Sometimes people don’t like you, it’s nothing you’ve done. They just don’t, for reasons unknown. So rather than worrying about those people, spend time and make memories with those that do. They are the ones that matter.

  1. Don’t you ever regret knowing someone in your life. Good people will give you happiness, bad people will give you experience while the worst people will give you a lesson and the best people will always give you memories – Unknown

Every person comes in to your life for a reason, they can be a lesson or a blessing. You’ve just got to wait it out to see which one they are. Appreciate the good. Forget the bad, but don’t forget what you learnt.

  1. You only live once but, if you do it right, once is enough – unknown

This is one of Rachpal’s favourite quotes and I love it. You only get one life, so live it how you want to, go grab it by the horns. Money is temporary, memories are priceless. As Drake says, YOLO – that’s the motto.

Xoxo

Micks

this originally posted on my tumblr account: micksmusings.tumblr.com