Trust.

 

Listening to: Kelly Clarkson ‘Breakaway’ (what a banger of an album)

 

 Hi friends,

This week I have a question to ask you.

Can you still be friends with someone who you don’t trust?

You’ve probably heard the saying (or a version of it) that trust is like a mirror, once it is shattered it can be put back together but never truly repaired. Side note: I think my favourite version is Gaga in her ‘Telephone’ video –

 Screen Shot 2017-11-07 at 20.54.03

 

The only problem I have with that explanation of trust/ broken trust is that it’s always led me to believe that, and expect that, my trust would always be shattered in a big way. Like the person would pick up our shared mirror and smash it like a plate at Greek wedding but that isn’t always what happens. Sometimes it’s little chips over time until one of these chips is so big that it causes a ripple effect and you find yourself unable to see your reflection in the mirror, or be able to trust the person who’s mirror it is.

Part of being friends with someone is being able to rely on each other; to trust them. You should know whole heartedly that they won’t run off and tell someone what you said, they should know you enough to know the things that shouldn’t be shared. You should be able to know that some things are only shared between you; some things aren’t meant to be shared. What is possibly even worse than sharing private thoughts and feelings is sharing thoughts and feelings with a twist – sharing a fabricated, sometimes exaggerated, version of the truth. You shouldn’t have to watch what you say to your friends, you shouldn’t have to have your guard up. Should you?

How can you be friends with someone you can’t trust?

Are we, or rather am I, too quick to call people my ‘friend’?

A couple of years ago someone who I definitely do trust called me out on how much I use the word ‘love’. I didn’t ever ‘like’ it, I always ‘loved’ it. It was a great observation, and made me realise that I DID use the word ‘love’ too much. Perhaps the same could be said of the word ‘friend’, perhaps I use it too freely, perhaps I use it too much, or too quickly.

Perhaps the word ‘friend’, like the word ‘love’, should be used sparingly.

xoxo

M

The one where Elsa was the inspiration.

How often have you heard the phrase ‘let it go’?

Not including all the times you sang along with Elsa, obvs. How many times in life do we tell ourselves, and the others around us to ‘let it go’?

When you’re having a bad day, life is getting you down it seems to be people’s go to phrase.

“Let it go”.

It’s a great message in theory – accept life and situations for what they are, some things cannot be changed. There is definitely an argument for it being a cornerstone of a happy life.

I just have one problem.

It’s hard.

It’s really fucking hard.

 giphy

When we’re being asked, or told, to let go of something, it’s usually something (or someone) we’re very passionate about, something we’re deeply connected to. It almost seems like we’re being told to forget about the past – forget about the person or event we’re connected to. Letting go is something very, very different to forgetting though.

If we’re all honest, we all have things we need to let go of. Myself included. If anyone reading this can so “no, I don’t” then I’m really very jealous.

As I previously said, it’s really hard to let go. It takes a lot of work on our part. We have to really look at the situation and work out what it is we’re attached to. Is it really the person or event? Or is it how it made us feel? Is it idea of them and/or it?

Only when we’ve been really honest can we start the process of letting go. When we let go of what’s holding us back and whatever is tying us to the situation then the healing can begin.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us” said someone, somewhere at sometime. I know, it’s cliché af and basic but there is actually some truth in it.

 Screen Shot 2017-05-15 at 19.43.13

We need stop over thinking everything. We need to stop projecting how we think the future is going to pan out – that doesn’t mean don’t have goals, don’t have drive and ambition – it means get rid of that image in your head of how you think it will be, get rid of the “I’ll be happy when…” phrase.

If you’re on the “things should be this way for me to be happy train” GET OFF NOW; you have reached your final destination.

giphy (1).gif

Staying fixated on how you think your life should be not only stops us from letting go but also stops us from appreciating what we have now – we all know I’m a big believer in gratitude.

The reality is, and I know it’s hard to hear at times, and even harder to accept, everything at this time is exactly as it should be.

 

Learning to let go of things that aren’t bringing us happiness will free up energy, time and resources and we can begin to reap the benefits of that. We can put it towards things that are productive, that will make a positive difference and have real, impactful change in our lives.

Let’s all make like Elsa – it’s time to let it go.

 I’ll try my best to do so if you do too.

Pinky promise?

Screen Shot 2017-05-15 at 19.39.10