WAKE UP

The last month or so has been tough emotionally and it has served a reminder of my own mortality. There has been a number of people passing away around me; their ages across the spectrum and most of them a massive shock.

I was at the funeral of one of those people last week and whilst I was sat there listening to his eulogy and hearing his son speak about what an amazing man his dad was, something clicked. It almost shook me awake to my own life and to how much I have to be grateful for; to all the wonderful people I have in my life and how I perhaps have been very selfish with my time and energy – what would my last memory of them be if they passed? What was theirs be of me if I did?

 

I do realise this sounds very morbid and is probably a bit heavy for a Tuesday night but these thoughts have been taking up a lot of space in this little brain of mine for a while so I figured it was best to get it out there and share it.

 

Being completely honest I have been a selfish mother****** lately with my energy and my time. I have been going through a ‘Why me?’ ‘Why is it always me?’ “Why can’t everyone leave me alone, stupid twats’ phase. I don’t throw pity parties often but boy, when I do! WOO! I have not wanted to talk to anyone, let alone be around them. Work is my perfect escape – with a new team in a new location there is no one that knows me personally to care to ask about my life. They just want Michaela the manager, not Michaela the person and that has suited me just fine. I’ve ignored calls, cancelled plans, told people I was busy when I wasn’t just because I wanted to be alone. I am a true Gemini in that there are two sides to me. I am equal parts introvert and extrovert. I love people but also hate them. This last while I’ve kept to myself because it is easier. There has been about 5 people I’ve been genuinely pleased to hear from in the last month – call me an asshole, it’s fine. I have been one.

 

How many of us have found life through death? It’s a shame that it takes something as final and tragic as death to wake us up. To make us realise what a good thing we’ve got going on. It’s a reminder to live life to the fullest because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Truth is, none of us know what is going to happen so why spend your time being anything but happy? Why spend your time being anything but honest? Be kind. Trust Karma will meet those that need it. Don’t settle for any reason. Don’t be afraid to change your mind.

 

The pain and discomfort of grief will follow us everywhere we go – anyone who has lost someone knows this but we can choose everyday what we do with it. We can let it defeat us or let it strengthen us; fall apart for a while, for a day or a week when you need it but remember to pick yourself back up and start again. There is so much more for you to experience. Choose hope every day.

 

Tell the people you love what they mean to you. Hug them. Love them. Treasure them. Give them the one thing above all that they deserve – your time. Try to be grateful for every day; I know I will.

 

“Every day’s a gift, that’s why it’s called the present”

 

xoxo

Words to learn from.

Hi friends,

I hope you’re well on this beautiful, beautiful Saturday. I have had lovely belated birthday out with two of my most favourite friends. I’ve come home with slight sunburn, face paint and lots of memories and possible plans for the future.

So, fun fact about me; I don’t really like people but I am a little obsessed with what they all think. I love listening or reading about people and I adore them sharing their lessons and views on anything and everything. I truly believe that we can learn so much if we just listen. We very often listen just to respond, we don’t listen to learn. We just need to pay attention.

Another fun fact about me: since I was around 15 I have kept journals filled with my thoughts / lessons learnt but also with the words of others that have, for one reason or another, struck a chord with me. Sometimes it has been what I needed to hear at the time, others it has been that I just knew I’d need to hear it at some point in the future. I’ll jot them down in a notepad, other times I’ll take a photo of them with my phone or in the ‘notes’ app and I go over them from time to time.

Today, I did just that and thought I’d share some of those with you. The majority of these are from this year; some are from years gone by. Unfortunately I am not so great at noting down where I get them from, some you may recognise, others you may not but all rights to their respective owners. Some of them I have added my thoughts in brackets to, others I haven’t.

Here we go…

“Ruin is beautiful. It’s where transformation happens” (What a beautiful way to look at it)

 

“Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself”

 

“We all need someone who challenges us, someone who touches our soul”

 

“Some people can’t believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first” (This is me. 100% )

 

“We get to choose who we let in to our weird little world”

 

“Sure you’ll have bad times, but it will always wake you up to the good stuff you weren’t paying attention to” (PREACH)

 

“Part of growing up is learning to leave behind the nasty remarks and the hurt that comes with them and turning them into positives.”

 

“Ugliness is on the inside. Hatred and cruelty are what make a person truly ugly”

 

“The perfect marriage, just like the perfect wedding, doesn’t exist”

 

“It’s what marriage is all about: finding someone to love and love you back, through lifes hurdles. There should be excitement and fun but its how you deal with the tough times, how you get through the day-to-day and grow together that matters”

 

“We must take care of our family, no matter where we find them” (For someone who has always said family is purely blood, nothing more, this is super on point)

 

“The only way to heal is to trust”

 

“I thought too much, felt too much. I didn’t want to feel anything” – this should be engraved on my gravestone when I die.

 

“Getting older means accepting loss; it’s a fact of life. Some people will stay forever, some wont. It’s the heartbreak of being on this planet”

 

“My friends are my human wonderbras. Supportive, uplifting and they make me look bigger and better” (Thanks to my human wonderbras. You know who you are)

 

“There are people that you have that you cant bullshit and you have to be honest with them. Whether you want to or not”

 

“To be of service to other people is a purpose of life”

 

“The centre of the earth can be anywhere you want it to be”

 

“Sometimes closure arrives years later. Long after you stopped searching for it. You’re just sitting there, laughing this laugh that is unapologetically yours. As it trails off, the corners of your mouth hugs your face and it hits you “I’m happy”. It’s just like that. With no fanfare or epiphany. Suddenly you are grateful for the goodbyes that carried you to this moment; to the space you are now holding” (LIFE GOALS)

 

And the last one… a lovely one to finish with

 

“You’re always someone’s hero, whether you know it or not”

 

There we have it… just a selection of those I’ve noted down this last while. Those that know me may be able to guess which ones struck a chord with me and why – possibly even ones that I haven’t yet figured out myself. Anyway, I hope you enjoy them, I hope that maybe you might have had a moment of clarity when reading one of them.

 

I know I have.

 

From me and my hippy heart

Big love xoxo

Micks

The year of 27.

Where I am: my bed

Listening to : Paramore ‘After Laughter’

Wassup dawgggss!!

WHAT A YEAR. Next week marks 3 years since I started sharing my word vomit with the world. It is also my 28th birthday. I seem to have made a tradition for myself in sharing lists around this time of year – normally things I’ve learnt. This year though I am going to share 27 things I loved about being 27; it’s a great way to say goodbye to my 27th year.

I started 27 off the saddest and have ended up the happiest. Life will throw all sorts of things your way but it makes you tougher, it makes you funnier (we all know I’m hilarious) and it makes the good times exponentially more magical.

So here it is, 27 things I loved about being 27.

I SAW PAUL MCCARTNEY AND RINGO STARR IN THE FLESH

I just so happened to be in Leicester square the same time they were. I was going to the theatre, they were there premiering their movie ‘Eight Days a Week’. I had to jump to see them, but I did. Be still my beating heart.

PRAHA

Since 2010 I have wanted to visit this magical city. An old friend had studied there for a year and his tales made me want to go. This year I did. Leanna turned 21, so we made a special trip. Such fun.

ARLO RALPH BOULTER

Nuff’ said

I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY OTHER 2 NEPHEWS EVEN MORE

Oscar has been the main man since 20/11/2011. He is the best kid, I laugh so much when I’m with him. I could cry with pride at the person he is becoming.

Mason-James – we started the year hating each other. We finished it as best friends. He is the dreamiest little guy.

I WAS VERY BRITISH AND HAD AFTERNOON TEA AT THE RITZ

Momma Sophs asked to go for her birthday so that’s what we did. I was far too common to be allowed in a place like that but I somehow managed to sneak in.

FRIENDS FEST

Naughty Norman made it happen last minute. I love that girl and loved that day.

OK LADIES NOW LET’S GET IN FORMATION

Beyonce pt 2. Croke Park, Dublin. Ain’t no party like a Queen B party.

NICK THE TIGER WAS IMMORTALISED ON MY WRIST

Many of you know we lost our boy Nick Lashaway in May 2016. This is my tribute to him.

I HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN

I liked this, huh? Well, yes. It gave me clarity, a different outlook and a better direction. As a result of this…

I LEARNT WHO WAS TRULY RIDE-OR-DIE

And who is ‘ride until you do something I don’t like/agree with’

THE BOOK OF MORMON

I’d read the reviews, I’d seen snippets on Youtube but was yet to go. Was it worth the wait? Abso-fuckin-lutely. Hilarious, I laughed from the opening number right through to the finale.

CLIMBED THE 02

Miranda and Stevie had a little day out. Such fun!

I FELT THE LOVE

When I needed it most, even when I didn’t ask for it, I felt the love from my pals. When I felt like I was free-falling and couldn’t find solid ground they were there at the side saying ‘It’s right here’. Biggest shout outs go to Sophie, Leanna, Dalbs, Rachpal and the BFG.

HELSINKI

I finally got to go and see my bro and his hoe in their city.

ICE HOCKEY GAME

Y’all know I have lots of friends in the US of A. The only American sport I was really interested in was Ice Hockey. It may have taken 4 years but I finally got to a game. Thanks, Wilf!

I REALISED YOU DON’T HAVE TO RUN AWAY TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE

What is probably obvious to some was not so to me. I felt very stuck this time last year. Very unhappy with an injured heart. An old dream came back to me and I thought it would change everything. Until I realised it wouldn’t and the dream had changed. I was running away. It’s not necessary.

DISNEY

The most magical day.

DIANE ALICE LORRAINE GOT BOOKFACE

Many of you will not understand the significance of this. It’s HUGE..

I CAME OFF MY HAPPY PILLS

Happy pill free since Aug ’16.

I REDISCOVERED MY LOVE FOR MY WORK

It feels different this time; I’m so much happier. Sure there are still days I want to put my head through a wall but overall it’s all gravy baby.

INDIA WITH MIRANDA AND STEVIE

So this is happening. Our boss authorized us to be off at the same time saying “Please both come back in one piece as I can’t be down two store managers”
Michelle “Oh I’ll be fine but if she pisses me off too much I might sell her for a camel”
Charming.

FRIENDS AND FOOD

I found those friends that find it acceptable to eat dinner in one place and then go somewhere else for dessert. Hashtag winning. Next time we’re going 3 for 3 – starter, main and dessert at separate places.

DELETE

If anything is too much effort, delete. This goes for everything from Social Media (see ya, twitter) to friends.

NEW FRIENDS

I’ve spoken about this before but this year I made some new pals, ones that I wasn’t looking to make but now I wouldn’t be without them. Big up yourselves.

NICK LASHAWAY DAY

It was magical from start to finish and the most perfect way to remember him, big love to my American Fam for including me. I’m sure he would have been rolling his eyes at all the fuss haha.

ACCEPTANCE

The road to self love, and accepting yourself is a long one. I’d been unhappy for a long time. This year I feel like I have accepted myself more. It will no doubt always be a battle for me but I feel like I’ve made my biggest leaps down that road this year.

I LOVE LIFE

For someone that was unhappy for so long this is a big statement to make. 27 will always be the year that I fell back in love with life, I’m excited for the future.

Final thoughts:

Make the most of every single second. Be nice to people. Never go to bed on an argument and never mix your drinks!!

Thank you to anyone and everyone that has impacted my life in the last year, thank you to those I have learnt from. Thank you to those friends that have been there for the good and the bad, I am lucky enough to call some of the best people on the planet my friends. Thank you all for believing in me and seeing my light when I couldn’t see it myself (Amy Jayne, especially you here. You never stop telling me). I’m not quite sure what I’ve done to deserve you all but I am so grateful. I’m going into 28 with so much joy and gratitude in my heart.
Thanks for the adventures. Thanks for the laughs (Byng, especially you. Please never, ever change)

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

It’s been magic!!

Xoxo Micks

The One With The Nostalgic Traveller.

Facebook ‘on this day’ kindly reminded me that this time last year I was in NYC having a fucking ball.

This year I was on a train at 6:20am. That got me all nostalgic for adventures before and excited for travels to come.

One thing I realised as I was scrolling through was that I travel differently now, that the reasons I visit places has changed. When I was in my early twenties I travelled because I could, I travelled to places so that I could see what was out there and maybe find my place in the world. I would never have dreamed about going back to the same place twice, why would you? There is so much world to see, I was always worried that it would never live up to my previous experiences. That view worked for a while, until it didn’t.

I’ve become a much more nostalgic traveller, I long to visit all of the places I’ve been to before BECAUSE I know they will rarely live up to my previous experiences; normally they surpass them.

When you first visit somewhere you’re a little bit blind to what to do, where to go, what is a must see vs what is a tourist trap. The second visit is a much truer version of the place – you know where you are, you know the things that you want to do rather than the things you feel you need to do because of the numerous ‘things to do in….’ lists in travel guides and on websites.

Travel has always given me a new perspective on things, there is something about being in a new place where you don’t know anyone that makes me reevaluate my life. The anonymity and no expectations of anyone that you meet or see (except those you’re with, but even those relationships feel different) give you a sense of freedom; or at least they do for me.

I have travelled a decent amount, not a much as some but definitely more than others. I’m so grateful to have those experiences and those friends that have come with me.

Here are a few of my favourites.

Valencia – The One That Changed It All

There is no way I could start this list with anything else. This temporary move to another country in 2010 with 3 girls I didn’t know is the one that changed it all and makes my heart smile the most.

I met my best friend in this city, realised that the Spanish really make everything better, fell in love and left a part of my heart behind.

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Derry – The One With The Hangover

This city is a home from home now as my Irish brother and mama live here, anywhere they are is home for me. The trip to celebrate St Patrick’s day way back in 2012 reminded me why I don’t drink much and that the Irish can party like no other. Highlights of this trip include me dancing by myself in a club with the flag wrapped around me and having to sit down in the shower the next morning because I felt like death.

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Barcelona – The One Where I Remembered How Much I loved Spain

When I got back from VLC after a week everyone, in the most passive aggressive ways possible, told me to shut up talking about it. When I went to Barcelona in 2011 with Momma Sophs, Jade and Wilf I remembered that all the reasons I kept harping on about Spain and the Spanish were valid and real. IT IS THE ONE OF THE BEST COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD AND YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE MY MIND ON THAT OK.

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The American summer – The One That I Needed.

June 19th – Sept 10th in the USA with some of my favourite people. This trip was the one I needed. The break from life we all crave sometimes I was lucky enough to have. I realised a lot about myself, what I wanted, my limits and it gave me time to reflect on things that had happened and let go of things that were never meant to be. The house of Rincon Ave became my safe place that summer. We saw so much that summer it is hard to pick just one thing that makes it stand out. Without a doubt the best trip I’ve ever taken. Just wow.

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Paris 2015 – The One With Disney.

 That’s all you need to know really. 2 of my best friends. Disney. 5 days. It was perfect, I laughed so much, rediscovered my inner child (which is never really far from the surface) and met Peter Pan. Life was perfect at that moment.

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Cape Cod 2014 – The One Where I Realised Family Really Is Everything.

 The best part about this is that I wasn’t even with my family. Mark and I hijacked my American fam’s vaca and it was the best. They are such a big family, and their love for each other is bigger. I love being surrounded by them, hearing their in jokes, laughing at each other and being let in to their homes and making memories with them. They remind me that family is what really matters, the world may be chaotic but so long as you have that little hub to come back to it’s all ok. I just need to remind myself of that when my family piss me off!

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There are so many more trips that I could list but unfortunately I am running out of time as I gots places to be. I’m off to make memories with my family in the best country of all, the one I call home.

Happy Easter, pals

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I suck.

Where I am: my bed. And if it wasn’t my Brother-in-Laws birthday this is where I would stay all day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVE.

Listening to: Stevie Wonder ‘For Once in my life”

 

 

Hiya pals

 

It’s official – I suck.

I’m still a week behind on these posts but I am determined to catch up. I’ve just worked a 6 day week and have a couple more coming up but hopefully after that I will find time to catch up on the post I missed. I know it’s only one post but I was determined to catch up this week and I haven’t. Gosh darn it. I suck.

Here’s some other things I suck at…

Letting go of things

I know I have to learn to do this. I know. It’s just so bloody hard.

Not worrying what other people think

Again, something I wish I was great at. I am surrounded by people that could not give a hoot what others think of them but I still do, especially those I’m close with and those whose opinions I really value (which isn’t always the same thing). I’d like to think I have got a bit better at this over the years but I’m not all that sure.

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Being ill.

Especially if it involves vomiting; I revert back to being 5 years old and just want my mum.

Being a ‘Lady’

 Honestly, who tf has the time or energy to do contouring and blending and highlighting etc etc everyday plus have salon inspired hair? Also, I can’t contour, I’m not sure I even know what it is. I have a mouth like a sewer. I am not afraid to get stuck in, get a bit dirty. I’d rather eat than cook (although I am ridiculously jealous of those ladies that can cook).

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Me when I try to be clever with make up

Being around people I find attractive.

It’s embarrassing, I either start talking 10 to the dozen or I go shy and lose the ability to hold a conversation. Sometimes, if I’m lucky, I’ll flit between the two. I really thought at 27 I’d have grown out of this by now.

Being patient

I have no patience. Well, not none; I have a very small amount for children and the most amount for animals. I have no time for stupid people, people that have no common sense (judge me, I don’t care). I want everyone to learn as quick as me, work as fast as me and if you don’t get out my way.

My old boss (wassup, Dennis) in one of my reviews actually made me realise this lack of patience “You learn really fast and expect everyone else to as well, then when they don’t you think they are slow when actually they’re normal, you’re just really fast”

I haven’t really learnt how to deal with that because I still want the world and I still want it yesterday.

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Not being emotional

 Most of my friends think I have no heart and a black soul. They are right to some extent. I cry more than you’d think and over things you’d not expect me to. Case and point – there was a duck in my road this week that had been hit and killed by a car (we live near a pond) when I saw it I went home and cried. Over a duck.

Taking care of myself

I rarely get 8 hours sleep, I’m sure I have toast for ‘dinner’ once a week and eat too much chocolate. The lack of size 8 figure is suddenly not so surprising. Also, are there people that can really ‘just have one’ biscuit with a cup of tea?

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Making decisions

Oh man, I hate this about myself. I miss being 5 when my decisions were made for me.

Standing up for myself

Don’t get me wrong I can handle myself, I’m not one to sit back and not say something if someone is in my face. I am more likely to walk away from a confrontation though because I can’t be bothered with the shit. Sometimes I want to believe in the good in people and as a result let them walk all over me.

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We’ve all gotta be rubbish at something though, right? It makes us human. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

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Pick the weeds, keep the flowers.

Like most, I have dealt with my fair share of ‘shady’ and ‘toxic’ people over my 27 years. There were those friendships and relationships that started as all good things do, then at some point it all went a bit, well, a bit Pete tong. I’ve always believed that it is at that point that you really see who someone is – when it goes wrong that is when people show you their ‘true self’.

 

Life is unpredictable, you don’t need to be a genius to know that, and you want to make sure you have good people around you when the shit hits the fan. Over the years I have got pretty good at differentiating between the weeds and flowers.

 

I am a lot more guarded with people now than I was when I was fresh out of school but my inner hippy still wants to believe in the potential good in people and, to quote a friend, “that blinds you to who they really are and you end up being disappointed and then shutting everyone else out”. It’s true, too many times in the past I’ve put flowers in an asshole and called it a vase. (I’m not quite sure where all these plant references are coming from but we’ll just go with it)

 

I really thought that I’d mastered being able to tell the difference between the good and the bad though like, I was almost at 5 years clean! 5 years with no weeds. A record for me, but, alas, it became apparent recently that this was not the case.

 

I’m still pretty proud of the 5 years clean though, I’d mainly done that by only letting a few newbies in and also doing something that we never seem to do – trust our gut. I always get a ‘vibe’ from people who I am with –how this vibe makes me feel will determine if I put you in the ‘hi ya’ or ‘bye-ya’ basket.

If I’m unsure then I’ll generally go quiet and then observe them. Like David Attenborough watching a gazelle in Africa. I sit patiently and wait, they show their true self in the end.

 

The following 5 are normally the most obvious (although they may not display them frequently or at the same time) clues that they are sucky people. You don’t need sucky people in your life, there is enough going on.

 

They only seem to be around or in touch when they need something

 

This, generally, won’t be a straight away thing. This will creep in later on. Of course there is give and take in any relationship/friendship and we all go through phases of taking more than we give but when you get to the point of wondering what the relationship brings to your life that’s the time to think about getting out.

 

They enjoy stirring trouble up between other people

 

The thing that is perhaps scariest of all, is that some of these people don’t appear to see the negative impact they have on other people by doing this. Those of them that do, who are perhaps the grossest kind of human, seem to derive a bizarre satisfaction from the stress and chaos that they have created. Do you really want to be associated with someone like that? Someone that causes trouble for the sake of it isn’t going to be in your corner when your life takes a turn; they’ll be grabbing popcorn and watching it all unfold.

 

They find ways to slyly make you feel like shit about yourself

 

It could be a look, a tone in their voice when they mention something you’re wearing/ doing etc . It is always very subtle and normally when you are in a group so they have an audience see them ‘put you in your place’. Sometimes people are just too blunt about how you look; your weight, your hair, your spots.
It’s fine though because they are your friend and they are ‘just joking’. Right?

 

 

You catch them in a lie / They are fake af

 

Think Mean Girls. Regina George and that is the ugliest ‘effin skirt I have ever seen. If you have no clue what I’m talking about then see below ( and then go watch Mean Girls).

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The lies are always believable at first but sooner or later they start to unravel. When you call them on it YOU are the bad person, not them. Ok then…

 

When you’re done hanging out you always feel like shit.

 

Not necessarily related to number 3. This is more about how you feel physically when you leave them. There are those people who just seem to drain you of your energy and leave you feeling super bleurgh. Headaches, nausea… these can be a sign of a dodgy friend as well as a dodgy lunch.

 

We are all so so busy, that sometimes weeds will sneak into our lovely gardens. For the most part we have all decent, honest, kind, funny, uplifting people in our lives. It is only natural. It is also natural to always want to defend our ‘friends’ because we think they are just that, a friend. You’ve known them for a long time maybe, or maybe it’s easier to keep them around for whatever reason.

 

If having them in your life is detrimental to your happiness – it is not ok. It is not easier to have them around. If you really must keep them in your life, please recognize them and keep them at arm’s length.

 

If you take just one thing from this post please let it be this. When people show you their true self and it is sucky, DROP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND RUN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION.

YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE! THEY WILL NOT CHANGE FOR YOU OR BECAUSE OF YOU. THEY WILL ONLY CHANGE WHEN THEY ARE FULLY READY TO AND REALISE THEIR BEHAVIOUR IS SUCKY, AND THIS MAY BE NEVER. DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES FOR THEM BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST ENABLING THEM AND THEIR BEHAVIOUR.

THEY ARE NOT DIFFERENT WHEN THEY ARE WITH YOU.

Sorry for the all caps, I just feel very strongly about this.

 

 

I’m going to take a wild guess now and say that, if you have been thinking about someone in particular as you have been reading then, chances are, you’ve found/ recognise a weed.

Don’t bury your head in the sand, take note and say see ya later, pal! You will feel better for it, I promise (I have done/do).

 

Happy weeding!!

 

 

Xoxo Micks

 

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Time flies, but you’re the pilot.

Important life update: I LEFT MY JOB OF 10 YEARS AND STARTED A NEW ONE AND IT WAS SCARY AND UPSETTING AND EXCITING ALL AT ONCE.

 I FUCKING DID IT!

You didn’t think I would, did you? It’s fine, I didn’t think I would either.

My decision to leave my job is one that I have discussed with many of my family, friends and colleagues. I wasn’t convinced I would make the jump myself, even after I had handed my notice in, announced it to everyone and survived the incessant ‘but why’s?’ I still wasn’t sure I was brave enough.

Of course everyone has their own opinions about whether I made the right decision or not; my mum has been very vocal about not understanding the logic behind the decision, as was my old regional manager. My work BFF Michelle was, and is, very vocal about me leaving and has tried to get me to come back already – it’s only been a week and a half! I know my Madre is worried I will make a mistake and come to regret my decision (she also doesn’t want me to go travelling ha). Michelle wanting me to stay is purely selfish because I am her favourite (and also most modest) colleague. We have, and will, stay in touch though. I do believe in the 10 days since I’ve left we have spoken on the phone at least 5 times. She is the only person I’ve met that likes to talk as much as I do! : )

 

My friends have been much more understanding – they understand my commitment to the company would hold me back from my future travel plans.

 

“If you stay then you won’t go travelling” – Sophia, Leanna, Ken, Denise, Mark etc.

 

“Just stay working for us but book a ticket and then you’ll have to leave” – Mr. Keefe’s (my old RM) logic to my leaving.

 

If only my mind worked that way Mr. Keefe! I know I would never leave; the merry-go-round that is my old work place is a hard one to jump off of, especially after 10 years. Losing money on a plane ticket wouldn’t faze me; money has never been my motivation. Despite the pressure, stress and the long days, the satisfaction of meeting that (often tight) deadline, seeing new product, developing new team members, training the staff – training was one of my favourite parts of the job -, helping the customers and my belief in the brand and it’s values would have kept me there. My heart was in it, for the good and the bad!

 

My head, however, told me otherwise. A typical Gemini in every sense of the word; the battle between head and heart was eventually won by my head. Logic won. If I was to go travelling, I wanted more time to spend with the people I tolerate the most before I go, I want time to enjoy seeing my nephews grow up (MJ now says Kayla and it is the most adorable sound since Oscar calling me KayKay for the first time). I want some time to myself, to enjoy having a job that is just that, a job. My old job took over my life somewhat (and I do understand that was my doing, no one else’s) but it was my passion and dedication – I have always been an all or nothing kind of gal. Logic told me it makes more sense to leave because that was the only way I’d get what I wanted out of my time before I flit off to the next place. When this opportunity came up to move jobs, I had to take it.

 

 

A job closer to home affords me time. Shift work affords me time – although those early mornings are a killer. I am NOT a morning person. Regular days off afford me time. I can already feel the difference in myself – I no longer take work home with me. It is a job, that’s it. When I am with friends I am not checking work emails whilst half paying attention to what they are saying. I’m there fully – I wasn’t before.

 

“The only thing more precious than our time is who we spend it on”

 

All this time I have gained has brought home to me how much time I really did spend worrying about work – I said to my friend that I have actually realised that I don’t really have much of a life because I never had time to make one before. – This post is also making me realise how work obsessed I was it’s kind of embarrassing aha. Now I have something that I didn’t have before TIME. Time to do stuff that I want – I am going to get my fitness levels back to what they were this time last year (if not better), I am attempting to relearn the Spanish I unlearnt over the years, I have a pile of 10 books that have been sat on my side waiting to be read for the last year. Time flies, but luckily we’re the pilots. We control how we waste our time.

 

So. My new job? What’s the verdict? My new job is just that, new. It’s different, not in a bad way. It’s just different. I hate that I don’t know everything yet – I don’t like not knowing stuff, I like to learn and am used to being a bit of a know-it-all; another Gemini trait. The team is nice, and I get on well with most of them (there are a couple I’m not sure of but we’ll see what happens there, watch this space). I enjoy mentally spending all my money on the items we have and I definitely enjoy the monthly clothing allowance. Most of all though, I love talking to the customers about travel! My favourite thing is to travel and hearing and sharing recommendations on what to do and where to go is great for me! I am off to Prague in November (Happy birthday, Leanna) and already have numerous places and things that have been recommended to me by locals flying home. I think I will enjoy it more the longer I’m there; so far there are no regrets.

 

My old workplace will always be home though.

 

Xoxo

Micks

 

 

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