Words to learn from.

Hi friends,

I hope you’re well on this beautiful, beautiful Saturday. I have had lovely belated birthday out with two of my most favourite friends. I’ve come home with slight sunburn, face paint and lots of memories and possible plans for the future.

So, fun fact about me; I don’t really like people but I am a little obsessed with what they all think. I love listening or reading about people and I adore them sharing their lessons and views on anything and everything. I truly believe that we can learn so much if we just listen. We very often listen just to respond, we don’t listen to learn. We just need to pay attention.

Another fun fact about me: since I was around 15 I have kept journals filled with my thoughts / lessons learnt but also with the words of others that have, for one reason or another, struck a chord with me. Sometimes it has been what I needed to hear at the time, others it has been that I just knew I’d need to hear it at some point in the future. I’ll jot them down in a notepad, other times I’ll take a photo of them with my phone or in the ‘notes’ app and I go over them from time to time.

Today, I did just that and thought I’d share some of those with you. The majority of these are from this year; some are from years gone by. Unfortunately I am not so great at noting down where I get them from, some you may recognise, others you may not but all rights to their respective owners. Some of them I have added my thoughts in brackets to, others I haven’t.

Here we go…

“Ruin is beautiful. It’s where transformation happens” (What a beautiful way to look at it)

 

“Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself”

 

“We all need someone who challenges us, someone who touches our soul”

 

“Some people can’t believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first” (This is me. 100% )

 

“We get to choose who we let in to our weird little world”

 

“Sure you’ll have bad times, but it will always wake you up to the good stuff you weren’t paying attention to” (PREACH)

 

“Part of growing up is learning to leave behind the nasty remarks and the hurt that comes with them and turning them into positives.”

 

“Ugliness is on the inside. Hatred and cruelty are what make a person truly ugly”

 

“The perfect marriage, just like the perfect wedding, doesn’t exist”

 

“It’s what marriage is all about: finding someone to love and love you back, through lifes hurdles. There should be excitement and fun but its how you deal with the tough times, how you get through the day-to-day and grow together that matters”

 

“We must take care of our family, no matter where we find them” (For someone who has always said family is purely blood, nothing more, this is super on point)

 

“The only way to heal is to trust”

 

“I thought too much, felt too much. I didn’t want to feel anything” – this should be engraved on my gravestone when I die.

 

“Getting older means accepting loss; it’s a fact of life. Some people will stay forever, some wont. It’s the heartbreak of being on this planet”

 

“My friends are my human wonderbras. Supportive, uplifting and they make me look bigger and better” (Thanks to my human wonderbras. You know who you are)

 

“There are people that you have that you cant bullshit and you have to be honest with them. Whether you want to or not”

 

“To be of service to other people is a purpose of life”

 

“The centre of the earth can be anywhere you want it to be”

 

“Sometimes closure arrives years later. Long after you stopped searching for it. You’re just sitting there, laughing this laugh that is unapologetically yours. As it trails off, the corners of your mouth hugs your face and it hits you “I’m happy”. It’s just like that. With no fanfare or epiphany. Suddenly you are grateful for the goodbyes that carried you to this moment; to the space you are now holding” (LIFE GOALS)

 

And the last one… a lovely one to finish with

 

“You’re always someone’s hero, whether you know it or not”

 

There we have it… just a selection of those I’ve noted down this last while. Those that know me may be able to guess which ones struck a chord with me and why – possibly even ones that I haven’t yet figured out myself. Anyway, I hope you enjoy them, I hope that maybe you might have had a moment of clarity when reading one of them.

 

I know I have.

 

From me and my hippy heart

Big love xoxo

Micks

The year of 27.

Where I am: my bed

Listening to : Paramore ‘After Laughter’

Wassup dawgggss!!

WHAT A YEAR. Next week marks 3 years since I started sharing my word vomit with the world. It is also my 28th birthday. I seem to have made a tradition for myself in sharing lists around this time of year – normally things I’ve learnt. This year though I am going to share 27 things I loved about being 27; it’s a great way to say goodbye to my 27th year.

I started 27 off the saddest and have ended up the happiest. Life will throw all sorts of things your way but it makes you tougher, it makes you funnier (we all know I’m hilarious) and it makes the good times exponentially more magical.

So here it is, 27 things I loved about being 27.

I SAW PAUL MCCARTNEY AND RINGO STARR IN THE FLESH

I just so happened to be in Leicester square the same time they were. I was going to the theatre, they were there premiering their movie ‘Eight Days a Week’. I had to jump to see them, but I did. Be still my beating heart.

PRAHA

Since 2010 I have wanted to visit this magical city. An old friend had studied there for a year and his tales made me want to go. This year I did. Leanna turned 21, so we made a special trip. Such fun.

ARLO RALPH BOULTER

Nuff’ said

I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY OTHER 2 NEPHEWS EVEN MORE

Oscar has been the main man since 20/11/2011. He is the best kid, I laugh so much when I’m with him. I could cry with pride at the person he is becoming.

Mason-James – we started the year hating each other. We finished it as best friends. He is the dreamiest little guy.

I WAS VERY BRITISH AND HAD AFTERNOON TEA AT THE RITZ

Momma Sophs asked to go for her birthday so that’s what we did. I was far too common to be allowed in a place like that but I somehow managed to sneak in.

FRIENDS FEST

Naughty Norman made it happen last minute. I love that girl and loved that day.

OK LADIES NOW LET’S GET IN FORMATION

Beyonce pt 2. Croke Park, Dublin. Ain’t no party like a Queen B party.

NICK THE TIGER WAS IMMORTALISED ON MY WRIST

Many of you know we lost our boy Nick Lashaway in May 2016. This is my tribute to him.

I HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN

I liked this, huh? Well, yes. It gave me clarity, a different outlook and a better direction. As a result of this…

I LEARNT WHO WAS TRULY RIDE-OR-DIE

And who is ‘ride until you do something I don’t like/agree with’

THE BOOK OF MORMON

I’d read the reviews, I’d seen snippets on Youtube but was yet to go. Was it worth the wait? Abso-fuckin-lutely. Hilarious, I laughed from the opening number right through to the finale.

CLIMBED THE 02

Miranda and Stevie had a little day out. Such fun!

I FELT THE LOVE

When I needed it most, even when I didn’t ask for it, I felt the love from my pals. When I felt like I was free-falling and couldn’t find solid ground they were there at the side saying ‘It’s right here’. Biggest shout outs go to Sophie, Leanna, Dalbs, Rachpal and the BFG.

HELSINKI

I finally got to go and see my bro and his hoe in their city.

ICE HOCKEY GAME

Y’all know I have lots of friends in the US of A. The only American sport I was really interested in was Ice Hockey. It may have taken 4 years but I finally got to a game. Thanks, Wilf!

I REALISED YOU DON’T HAVE TO RUN AWAY TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE

What is probably obvious to some was not so to me. I felt very stuck this time last year. Very unhappy with an injured heart. An old dream came back to me and I thought it would change everything. Until I realised it wouldn’t and the dream had changed. I was running away. It’s not necessary.

DISNEY

The most magical day.

DIANE ALICE LORRAINE GOT BOOKFACE

Many of you will not understand the significance of this. It’s HUGE..

I CAME OFF MY HAPPY PILLS

Happy pill free since Aug ’16.

I REDISCOVERED MY LOVE FOR MY WORK

It feels different this time; I’m so much happier. Sure there are still days I want to put my head through a wall but overall it’s all gravy baby.

INDIA WITH MIRANDA AND STEVIE

So this is happening. Our boss authorized us to be off at the same time saying “Please both come back in one piece as I can’t be down two store managers”
Michelle “Oh I’ll be fine but if she pisses me off too much I might sell her for a camel”
Charming.

FRIENDS AND FOOD

I found those friends that find it acceptable to eat dinner in one place and then go somewhere else for dessert. Hashtag winning. Next time we’re going 3 for 3 – starter, main and dessert at separate places.

DELETE

If anything is too much effort, delete. This goes for everything from Social Media (see ya, twitter) to friends.

NEW FRIENDS

I’ve spoken about this before but this year I made some new pals, ones that I wasn’t looking to make but now I wouldn’t be without them. Big up yourselves.

NICK LASHAWAY DAY

It was magical from start to finish and the most perfect way to remember him, big love to my American Fam for including me. I’m sure he would have been rolling his eyes at all the fuss haha.

ACCEPTANCE

The road to self love, and accepting yourself is a long one. I’d been unhappy for a long time. This year I feel like I have accepted myself more. It will no doubt always be a battle for me but I feel like I’ve made my biggest leaps down that road this year.

I LOVE LIFE

For someone that was unhappy for so long this is a big statement to make. 27 will always be the year that I fell back in love with life, I’m excited for the future.

Final thoughts:

Make the most of every single second. Be nice to people. Never go to bed on an argument and never mix your drinks!!

Thank you to anyone and everyone that has impacted my life in the last year, thank you to those I have learnt from. Thank you to those friends that have been there for the good and the bad, I am lucky enough to call some of the best people on the planet my friends. Thank you all for believing in me and seeing my light when I couldn’t see it myself (Amy Jayne, especially you here. You never stop telling me). I’m not quite sure what I’ve done to deserve you all but I am so grateful. I’m going into 28 with so much joy and gratitude in my heart.
Thanks for the adventures. Thanks for the laughs (Byng, especially you. Please never, ever change)

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

It’s been magic!!

Xoxo Micks

Opinion Overload

I have recently realised something about myself; I have a lot of opinions. I know, I know – state the fucking obvious Michaela.

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When I was in Ireland a while back I remember looking for an article to show my friend on my Facebook wall that I had shared previously and that’s when it hit me – a lot of my posts had been politically charged or about sensitive issues such as sexual abuse, being part of the LGBTQ community, feminism, sexism… you catch my drift; all topics that easily divide opinions.

The first thing that ran through my head was “wow, I bet my friends roll their eyes at all my posts and shares.” I was sorry that I had opinions. Then when I really thought about that knee jerk reaction I had to seeing my own posts I became annoyed – at me. I was sorry? WHAT NOW? Why would I not share something that I find interesting just because someone I connect with on social media might disagree with it? It’s more likely that they just scroll right pass it and don’t think about it.

Opinions. We’ve all got one, right?

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Opinions are healthy, opinions mean we are interested and engaged in what is going on around us; in our lives and in the world.

We don’t all have to agree on everything; it isn’t natural for us to. That doesn’t mean we should stop forming, having and expressing opinions. There is nothing I love more than a healthy debate so I personally really enjoy when people have differing opinions. I’d like to think that my opinions are based on a healthy mix of common sense, education about the topic at hand and perhaps a dash of empathy where necessary. I’d also like to presume that everyone elses opinion are based on this mix but one look at the comments section on pretty much ANY online article and I find myself realizing that this is very, very wrong.

You can learn a lot from people who have different opinions and in turn you teach them a lot. What cannot be condoned though is ignorance and, to a point, stubbornness. Opinions are changeable but without that willingness to learn and communicate or process new information in an objective way you will never grow and will probably end up quite a lonely person – I mean, who wants to be around someone who thinks they are ALWAYS right? Not me, sister!

I have always been an opinionated little ratbag. I remember people giving me shit in school for it when I was about 10 years old. Back then it bothered me, now not so much. Why would I chose to stay silent about things I feel strongly about, especially on my own social media? Perhaps more importantly, why should I feel I should keep quiet?

One day I may become so un-bothered by the world and not give a hoot anymore but until then if you dislike me and my opinions then please remove yourself from my social media profiles.

Right, I’m off to sign up for opinions anonymous.

Ciao for now

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The one where Elsa was the inspiration.

How often have you heard the phrase ‘let it go’?

Not including all the times you sang along with Elsa, obvs. How many times in life do we tell ourselves, and the others around us to ‘let it go’?

When you’re having a bad day, life is getting you down it seems to be people’s go to phrase.

“Let it go”.

It’s a great message in theory – accept life and situations for what they are, some things cannot be changed. There is definitely an argument for it being a cornerstone of a happy life.

I just have one problem.

It’s hard.

It’s really fucking hard.

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When we’re being asked, or told, to let go of something, it’s usually something (or someone) we’re very passionate about, something we’re deeply connected to. It almost seems like we’re being told to forget about the past – forget about the person or event we’re connected to. Letting go is something very, very different to forgetting though.

If we’re all honest, we all have things we need to let go of. Myself included. If anyone reading this can so “no, I don’t” then I’m really very jealous.

As I previously said, it’s really hard to let go. It takes a lot of work on our part. We have to really look at the situation and work out what it is we’re attached to. Is it really the person or event? Or is it how it made us feel? Is it idea of them and/or it?

Only when we’ve been really honest can we start the process of letting go. When we let go of what’s holding us back and whatever is tying us to the situation then the healing can begin.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us” said someone, somewhere at sometime. I know, it’s cliché af and basic but there is actually some truth in it.

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We need stop over thinking everything. We need to stop projecting how we think the future is going to pan out – that doesn’t mean don’t have goals, don’t have drive and ambition – it means get rid of that image in your head of how you think it will be, get rid of the “I’ll be happy when…” phrase.

If you’re on the “things should be this way for me to be happy train” GET OFF NOW; you have reached your final destination.

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Staying fixated on how you think your life should be not only stops us from letting go but also stops us from appreciating what we have now – we all know I’m a big believer in gratitude.

The reality is, and I know it’s hard to hear at times, and even harder to accept, everything at this time is exactly as it should be.

 

Learning to let go of things that aren’t bringing us happiness will free up energy, time and resources and we can begin to reap the benefits of that. We can put it towards things that are productive, that will make a positive difference and have real, impactful change in our lives.

Let’s all make like Elsa – it’s time to let it go.

 I’ll try my best to do so if you do too.

Pinky promise?

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The One With The Nostalgic Traveller.

Facebook ‘on this day’ kindly reminded me that this time last year I was in NYC having a fucking ball.

This year I was on a train at 6:20am. That got me all nostalgic for adventures before and excited for travels to come.

One thing I realised as I was scrolling through was that I travel differently now, that the reasons I visit places has changed. When I was in my early twenties I travelled because I could, I travelled to places so that I could see what was out there and maybe find my place in the world. I would never have dreamed about going back to the same place twice, why would you? There is so much world to see, I was always worried that it would never live up to my previous experiences. That view worked for a while, until it didn’t.

I’ve become a much more nostalgic traveller, I long to visit all of the places I’ve been to before BECAUSE I know they will rarely live up to my previous experiences; normally they surpass them.

When you first visit somewhere you’re a little bit blind to what to do, where to go, what is a must see vs what is a tourist trap. The second visit is a much truer version of the place – you know where you are, you know the things that you want to do rather than the things you feel you need to do because of the numerous ‘things to do in….’ lists in travel guides and on websites.

Travel has always given me a new perspective on things, there is something about being in a new place where you don’t know anyone that makes me reevaluate my life. The anonymity and no expectations of anyone that you meet or see (except those you’re with, but even those relationships feel different) give you a sense of freedom; or at least they do for me.

I have travelled a decent amount, not a much as some but definitely more than others. I’m so grateful to have those experiences and those friends that have come with me.

Here are a few of my favourites.

Valencia – The One That Changed It All

There is no way I could start this list with anything else. This temporary move to another country in 2010 with 3 girls I didn’t know is the one that changed it all and makes my heart smile the most.

I met my best friend in this city, realised that the Spanish really make everything better, fell in love and left a part of my heart behind.

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Derry – The One With The Hangover

This city is a home from home now as my Irish brother and mama live here, anywhere they are is home for me. The trip to celebrate St Patrick’s day way back in 2012 reminded me why I don’t drink much and that the Irish can party like no other. Highlights of this trip include me dancing by myself in a club with the flag wrapped around me and having to sit down in the shower the next morning because I felt like death.

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Barcelona – The One Where I Remembered How Much I loved Spain

When I got back from VLC after a week everyone, in the most passive aggressive ways possible, told me to shut up talking about it. When I went to Barcelona in 2011 with Momma Sophs, Jade and Wilf I remembered that all the reasons I kept harping on about Spain and the Spanish were valid and real. IT IS THE ONE OF THE BEST COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD AND YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE MY MIND ON THAT OK.

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The American summer – The One That I Needed.

June 19th – Sept 10th in the USA with some of my favourite people. This trip was the one I needed. The break from life we all crave sometimes I was lucky enough to have. I realised a lot about myself, what I wanted, my limits and it gave me time to reflect on things that had happened and let go of things that were never meant to be. The house of Rincon Ave became my safe place that summer. We saw so much that summer it is hard to pick just one thing that makes it stand out. Without a doubt the best trip I’ve ever taken. Just wow.

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Paris 2015 – The One With Disney.

 That’s all you need to know really. 2 of my best friends. Disney. 5 days. It was perfect, I laughed so much, rediscovered my inner child (which is never really far from the surface) and met Peter Pan. Life was perfect at that moment.

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Cape Cod 2014 – The One Where I Realised Family Really Is Everything.

 The best part about this is that I wasn’t even with my family. Mark and I hijacked my American fam’s vaca and it was the best. They are such a big family, and their love for each other is bigger. I love being surrounded by them, hearing their in jokes, laughing at each other and being let in to their homes and making memories with them. They remind me that family is what really matters, the world may be chaotic but so long as you have that little hub to come back to it’s all ok. I just need to remind myself of that when my family piss me off!

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There are so many more trips that I could list but unfortunately I am running out of time as I gots places to be. I’m off to make memories with my family in the best country of all, the one I call home.

Happy Easter, pals

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I suck.

Where I am: my bed. And if it wasn’t my Brother-in-Laws birthday this is where I would stay all day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVE.

Listening to: Stevie Wonder ‘For Once in my life”

 

 

Hiya pals

 

It’s official – I suck.

I’m still a week behind on these posts but I am determined to catch up. I’ve just worked a 6 day week and have a couple more coming up but hopefully after that I will find time to catch up on the post I missed. I know it’s only one post but I was determined to catch up this week and I haven’t. Gosh darn it. I suck.

Here’s some other things I suck at…

Letting go of things

I know I have to learn to do this. I know. It’s just so bloody hard.

Not worrying what other people think

Again, something I wish I was great at. I am surrounded by people that could not give a hoot what others think of them but I still do, especially those I’m close with and those whose opinions I really value (which isn’t always the same thing). I’d like to think I have got a bit better at this over the years but I’m not all that sure.

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Being ill.

Especially if it involves vomiting; I revert back to being 5 years old and just want my mum.

Being a ‘Lady’

 Honestly, who tf has the time or energy to do contouring and blending and highlighting etc etc everyday plus have salon inspired hair? Also, I can’t contour, I’m not sure I even know what it is. I have a mouth like a sewer. I am not afraid to get stuck in, get a bit dirty. I’d rather eat than cook (although I am ridiculously jealous of those ladies that can cook).

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Me when I try to be clever with make up

Being around people I find attractive.

It’s embarrassing, I either start talking 10 to the dozen or I go shy and lose the ability to hold a conversation. Sometimes, if I’m lucky, I’ll flit between the two. I really thought at 27 I’d have grown out of this by now.

Being patient

I have no patience. Well, not none; I have a very small amount for children and the most amount for animals. I have no time for stupid people, people that have no common sense (judge me, I don’t care). I want everyone to learn as quick as me, work as fast as me and if you don’t get out my way.

My old boss (wassup, Dennis) in one of my reviews actually made me realise this lack of patience “You learn really fast and expect everyone else to as well, then when they don’t you think they are slow when actually they’re normal, you’re just really fast”

I haven’t really learnt how to deal with that because I still want the world and I still want it yesterday.

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Not being emotional

 Most of my friends think I have no heart and a black soul. They are right to some extent. I cry more than you’d think and over things you’d not expect me to. Case and point – there was a duck in my road this week that had been hit and killed by a car (we live near a pond) when I saw it I went home and cried. Over a duck.

Taking care of myself

I rarely get 8 hours sleep, I’m sure I have toast for ‘dinner’ once a week and eat too much chocolate. The lack of size 8 figure is suddenly not so surprising. Also, are there people that can really ‘just have one’ biscuit with a cup of tea?

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Making decisions

Oh man, I hate this about myself. I miss being 5 when my decisions were made for me.

Standing up for myself

Don’t get me wrong I can handle myself, I’m not one to sit back and not say something if someone is in my face. I am more likely to walk away from a confrontation though because I can’t be bothered with the shit. Sometimes I want to believe in the good in people and as a result let them walk all over me.

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We’ve all gotta be rubbish at something though, right? It makes us human. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

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Week 12. Be Kind. 

Where I am: on a train 

Listening to: Maren Morris ‘My Church’

Week 12. This is a catch up post. A catch up post with a clear message. 

BE KIND.
My first post of the year was a short (and sweet?) post asking everyone to do just that. Be Kind. To themselves and others. In this one I ask the same.

There is so much terror in the world, uncertainty and tradegy; each day there is another news story reporting something bad happening somewhere. It is so disheartening to see.

  • The attack on Westminster 
  • Brexit triggered
  • The assassination of Timothy Caughman in NYC
  • Trumps entire presidency
  • The ongoing war in Syria
  • The rape and murder of the beautiful Danielle McLaughlin who was celebrating Holi festival in Goa
  • The violence in Paraguay over the election

And that is just a sprinkle of the terror in the world. 

Despite the constant terror, hate and evil that I see each time I open a newspaper or turn on the TV, I still have so much faith in humanity.


…and I believe Mr Rogers here to be right.

The medical professionals that ran from St Thomas’ when hearing of the Attack on Westminster – they ran blindly, not knowing nor caring what they were running in to, they just wanted to help. The peaceful Women’s march on Washington, the annual fundraising on Red Nose Day and Children in Need, the thousands of dollars donated to Planned Parenthood after the Trump administration decided to defund it and all it’s work (and FYI, as a British woman who has never needed to use or even really know about PP, even I know that they do SO much more than just abortions).

I’ve often spoken about my belief in how people’s reactions to things show you who they really are; you learn more about someone in times of trouble than in times of joy. We cannot change what happens to us but we are able to control how we react to it.

I heard a great version of this on a Podcast the other day (Here to Help with Noa Shaw for anyone who wants a listen). The story goes something like this; 

“Imagine you’re a mum and you have a son who is 3 years old. You’re due at a birthday party so you get yourself and your son all dressed up, wrap the present and are all ready to leave. At this moment your son comes into the room covered in peanut butter. 

You can react in 2 ways. You can get really angry and annoyed at him for ruining the outfit and stopping (or maybe delaying) you going to the party OR you can react like a loving mother – laugh at it, give your child a bath and have some fun whilst he’s in the tub and overall have a fun (if different than planned) afternoon” 

Great story showing that reactions can change our whole day. Chose to be angry and annoyed or laugh and have fun? I know which I’d rather. 

 “Imagine what the world would be like if we treated ourselves and each other as a loving mother” pondered the speaker on the Podcast (who coincidentally was guest – and my fave singer/songwriter – Christina Perri) 

Wow. What a thought. 

Look at the world through the eyes of a loving mother. Hate, anger, annoyance… all those negative emotions just drive us apart. 

Be Kind. 

BE KIND. 

Xoxo Micks