january ‘18

it’s finally here! the end of the longest month the world has ever known… seriously, is it just me or has this month dragged out? ordinarily you blink and it’s half way through the month, this month you blinked and you’d gone back in time. sweet baby yoda.

anywhooo, how are we all? surviving? i’m plodding along as per.

i’ve been trying to decide whether to carry on sharing my random thoughts on this site, primarily because i generally feel like i’m talking to myself most of the time and whilst that is fine, i can just talk to myself out loud rather than writing it down – i do this frequently anyway so i would just be saving myself some time. as some of you know, last year i gave myself a goal to post once a week, which i did (go me), but writing wasn’t so much fun when i knew i had to publish it – i write mainly for myself, and most of my writing is for no ones eyes but my own. and to be fair, it probably wouldn’t make sense to anyone else – it barely makes sense to me. it has been really nice this month just writing for me again.

the conclusion to my uncertainty was this – yes, i do still want to write about my crap on here but not so frequently, i think once a month will suffice. in all honesty i don’t really have time to post more – my friend amy said to me this weekend “you are literally the hardest person in the world to pin down to see. you have to book in with you 6 months in advance, you tell us you have a day free, then we go away to see if we’re free and come back to you for you to say, sorry! made plans now with xyz person” – i didn’t actually realise this but its pretty accurate. soz mate. i’m actually thinking about starting a deposit scheme – pay me £50 to secure your requested date and you’ll get it back when i see you.

and then i got to thinking how my posts might look, so rather than me rambling on (like i have done thus far in this post) i’m just gonna give my month recap for those that care in a ‘…of the month’ format. i don’t know if any of that explanation really made sense but continue reading and hopefully it will…

hero of the month

celebrity: halsey

did you see her speech at the women’s march? i cannot tell you how many times i have watched it but i can tell you that every time i do watch it, i cry. it is so, so powerful.

i cannot tell you how many debates i have gotten into with people over the ‘times up’ / #metoo movement and the fact that only now a lot of women are coming forward “why has it taken them so long?” “they’re being too sensitive” “it was all just a joke back in my day”. in my view, people who say things like this are part of the problem. and in response i say because it’s scary to come forward when the men that are doing it hold power over you, physically and otherwise. these women are really brave for coming forward and publicly about something this sensitive. i say, it is not your place to tell them they are being too sensitive – we all have personal boundaries and we don’t like them being abused. i say, well if you were happy with bob from accounts slapping your ass, or grabbing you by the pussy at work and found it funny, great for you. i say, that yes, we need to teach girls to protect themselves because unfortunately that is the world we live in but what do we need to teach more than that? well, we need to teach people not to fucking rape – and i say people because i am well aware that females can be rapists too. this is not just a one-sided issue (although stats of reported rapes suggest that women are 7x more likely to be raped than a man is).

personal: my sister, melissa

she’ll probably roll her eyes at this but she definitely needs a shout out. after the longest time she has finally stood the fuck up for herself and is making some changes that are long overdue. she is a worrier and so i can only imagine her anxiety at these changes that are coming up for her BUT i think she is a fuckin superstar for putting herself first and for knowing that she deserves so much more than she’s currently getting. you go, sister!

book of the month

leah remini: troublemaker

i am obsessed with her and scientology. i find it so fascinating. she’s got gumption! i read her book super quickly, maybe it took me a week max. one of my goals this year is to learn about other people – i am aiming to read a new biography/autobiography each month and leah’s started me off. i’m now reading hillary clinton’s ‘what happened’.

soundtrack to the month

‘now that’s what i call country’

i am completely unashamed about my love for all things ‘country’. this month i have mainly been listening to this album.

the greatest showman: soundtrack

this one has slipped in at the last-minute because i refused to listen to the soundtrack until i saw the movie. i imagine this will be featured on all my posts until the end of the year.

bad joke of the month

(bad jokes are like crack to me, send me all of yours)

why did the banana go out with the prune? because he couldn’t find a date!

also, one i heard today,

“what’s the most common owl in britain?”

“the teat owl… as in the teatowel”

i laughed for a good 5 minutes.

food of the month

well, it’s not really ‘food’ but its a condiment. french mustard. it’s just the frickin best. its taken ketchup’s place at the top of my list and i am enjoying grossing everyone out by putting it nearly everything.

realisation of the month

this is where i try to sound all deep and intelligent.

this month i have really realised that people are bloody shit, but that they are also bloody brilliant. you can’t make people understand you because not everyone wants to or can be bothered to. and that’s ok. the ones that are worth it will stick around and try to understand, the ones that are worth it will make the effort. the rest of them can go fuck ’emselves.

my other realisation of the month is that i swear too much. starting tomorrow i’m going to try to change that. maybe.

january.

i spent a lot of my time at work, i worried about what my new boss thought of me and tried to build a good relationship with him. i let go a bit at work, i tried to remember that i can only do so much, that my team can only do so much. i tried to remember to say ‘thank you’ more. i tried to remember that you only get back as much as you put in. i gave my time and energy (and days off) to people and colleagues that i know appreciate it and deserve my time. i stayed away from those that do not. i said no more. that word is revolutionary, i tell ya! i smiled. i cried. i laid foundations for moments to come. i sung. i danced. i had busy but good month. i tried.

AND i even managed to record a second a day.

january, the longest month ever on record, you were alright.

 

28 things you might not know about me. 

Where I am: sitting in Starbucks, Pumpkin Spice latte in a mug next to me (I’m so basic sometimes, it hurts)

Listening to: Mariah Carey (it’s really hard to not start singing at the top of my voice)

so, update time – after my post about World Mental Health Day i received a lot of messages of support from friends both near and far and so i’d just like to say thank you for that, i really appreciate that you all took the time out of your lives to reach out. thank you to those of you that shared your stories with me, it really is overwhelming just how many of us are touched by mental illness.

i have started therapy now – it’s weird but i’m hopeful it will be have a positive impact on me. i try really hard to not let it dictate my life.

i had a number of people message me to say that they would never had imagined i suffered, that had i not posted about it then and previously, i would be the last person they would have thought had depression and anxiety.

 

off the back of that, because we all know how egocentric i am, here are 28 other things you may not know about me…

  1. i will always be jealous of everyone that can play (competently play) the piano and violin. growing up my parents couldn’t afford for me to have lessons so it is something that i never learnt but always wanted to.

 

  1. my favourite seasons are spring and autumn. they are both transitional seasons and they feel just like starting over to me. spring is full of hope – everything is new. autumn clears my mind, when the leaves fall and so do the cobwebs in my head.

 

  1. i’m much more a ‘bunch of wildflowers’ girl than a ‘bunch of roses’ girl

 

  1. the best sounds in the world are my nephews laughs (all three of them) the sound of the waves crashing is a close second though.

 

  1. i am a bit of a tea snob – i take mine milk, no sugar. Preferably it will be a Barry’s tea bag or a Yorkshire. To end the debate once and for all – THE MILK GOES IN LAST.

 

  1. i do not like wine. Or champagne. i really wish i did. It looks so sophisticated, but it all tastes like vinegar to me. i do however enjoy a nice glass of Bucks Fizz and can stomach a glass of Prosecco but that’s as sophisticated as i get.

 

  1. if i were to ever design my own home and you told me i could have either a really big closet or a really big library i would choose a library every time.

  1. i really do want world peace

 

  1. the most perfect place i have ever been is the Island of Capri at sunset

 

  1. i really want to live by the seaside

 

  1. my friend Steph once bought me a notebook with a map of the world as a cover – she brought it for me to document my travels in. now, whenever i visit somewhere that requires me to board an aeroplane i always pick up a postcard from the destination and stick it in that book.

 ​

  1. most girls i know have thought in great detail about their wedding and what they want it to be like. i have not. i have, however, thought a lot about what i’d like my funeral to be like (morbid, i know)

 

  1. although i was christened COE when i was a bubba and i’m not overly religious now, i do still believe in God. i’m not sure in which sense – i don’t believe it’s a big dude sitting on a cloud, but i do believe in some kind of higher being. i also believe that Karma is a very real force in this world.

 

  1. If i could have anyone narrate my life i think i would choose either David Attenborough or the guy that narrates Come Dine with Me because he is a sarcastic ray of sunshine.

 

  1. i am obsessed with Crime documentaries and stories (i’m not sure what that says about me,really)

 

  1. yes it’s true, i was on the telly not once, but twice. autographs are 50p. per letter.

 

  1. i am a musical freak. my favourite is West Side Story.

 

  1. if i watch friends with you i will most likely quote at least 50% of the dialogue at you. if you’re really lucky it may be more.

 

  1. unless it is work, a medical appointment or something like a wedding or funeral I will be at least 10 minutes late. at this point i’ve realised it’s just who i am as a person.

my friends know.

  1. i love Cliff Richard!! – i grew up watching Summer Holiday and The Young Ones (see no.17 musical freak) and i think this is why i love him.

 

  1. most people are scared of clowns, rodents, snakes, spiders… not me. i’m scared of Octopus and Squid. i’m shivering just thinking about them now. Eurgh.

 

  1. i will put ketchup with pretty much anything. there isn’t many dishes that a squirt of Heinz can’t make better.

 

  1. want to know if you matter to me? find out if i have a song/songs attached to you. music is in my heart and if you are too, there will be a song for you.

 

  1. my favourite handbag designer is Kate Spade. And, unpopular opinion time, i do not like Michael Kors. at all.

 

  1. i really love Caroline Flack. i want her to be my friend. the same goes for Dawn O’Porter

 

  1. i have a bit of a crush on Gary Oldman. especially as Sirius Black

 

  1. my favourite accent in the world is the Irish (Northern > Southern, soz guys)

 

  1. one of my earliest memories from when i was very young is someone walked past me in the town, burning my left hand with their cigarette. that’s how i learnt my left and right.

happy birthday, John

it’s 1.35 am. i can’t sleep.

when i have trouble sleeping i always seem to do one of three things; listen to music, watch friends or write. tonight i am combining two of those. music and writing.

i am currently listening to a mix of The Beatles and John Lennon’s solo work – in case you didn’t know today would have been John’s 77th birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOHN.

for those of you that know me, you’ll know The Beatles are my favourite band, John is was my favourite member. to this day he is my favourite musician/artist/lyricist in the history of the world. to some it is an obvious choice, to others a cliché. to me it is the only choice. laugh if you will. i don’t care.

the best compliment i ever received (or one of them) was from my mum. having read a John biography she concluded that john and i were very similar in personality. she has since repeated that to me, and it still makes me happy to hear.

my love affair with The Beatles began when i was around 10 years old. my mum, a lifelong Beatles fan, insisted on watching a movie called ‘Help’ on the telly one Sunday afternoon. i can’t remember my response to being told this is what we were watching but i remember my reaction when it finished. i was intrigued. this was before the age of smart phones and wi-fi so i couldn’t just hop online and listen to their back catalogue and find out about the band, i remember asking my mum about them, i’d heard their songs my whole life but never really paid that much attention to them, until now. i remember my singing along to their songs in assembly (Nowhere man was a fave of our music teacher, so was Ob-la-di Ob-la-da) with way more enthusiasm.

the older i got the more my taste in music (and men) varied but i always came back to John and The Beatles.

my 21st birthday was not spent in some generic nightclub getting wasted, (not that there is anything wrong with that), it was spent wandering the streets of Liverpool, stomping the same pavements that John once had. we visited the Cavern, we strolled around the Albert Dock, we visited Penny Lane, saw the house George was born in, the registry office that John and Cynthia got married in. i remember being on a tour (so wonderfully titled “magical mystery tour”) and the tour guide/host was firing questions at everyone. who got most of them correct? who was the youngest fan on the bus? me and ME. the tour guide actually turned to  me at one point and said “it should really be you stood here doing this job” day=made.

i couldn’t pin point what it is exactly about John and his music that i love. it’s really a load of little things. there was an honesty to his music that i adore, a vulnerability. he was, in my opinion, very comical but also had a depth to him that was evident in his music and his mind. i admire how he handled his unconventional upbringing, and the tragedy that came to him early in life. he wanted to bring people together. he was wise – i mean, sure, we can’t assume that all these quotes attributed to him are ALL really his, but there’s no smoke without fire, right?

his mind

Some of my favourite John thoughts –

“The basic thing nobody asks is why do people take drugs of any sort? Why do we have these accessories to normal living to live? I mean, is there something wrong with society that’s making us so pressurized, that we cannot live without guarding ourselves against it”
“We all have Hitler in us, but we also have love and peace. So why not give peace a chance for once?”
“We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant…. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.”
“I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It’s just that the translations have gone wrong”
“I’m not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I’ve always been a freak. So I’ve been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I’m one of those people”

i could go on but i won’t. you can read more of his musings on brainy quote or a similar website.

his music

some of my best, and worst, moments are tied to his music. my 25th birthday, driving along the Almalfi Coast in the beautiful Italian sunshine our driver had John’s “(Just like) Starting Over playing. whilst it’s widely accepted that ‘Crippled Inside’ is about everybody’s hypocrisy, for me i use it to laugh at myself when my mental demons are loud and winning, much like they are now; but that’s another post for another day. there are also songs that i hope to attach to memories in the future – one day i hope to have ‘In My Life’ played at my wedding, i hope to sing ‘Beautiful Boy’ to my son.

 

 

 

 

 

it is also the birthday of the person John wrote that song about – his son Sean (who is a TREAT for the eyes).

Happy Birthday, Sean.

Happy Birthday, John.

and thank you.

xoxo

micks

#tb to when I went to NYC with a blanket around my neck and my favourite place in the city was empty except for me, my mum and a busker singing my favourite John songs.

i am me.

Where I am: HOME

What I’m listening to: Acoustic Room playlist on Spotify.

 

Morning,

 I just wanted to start this by saying a big thank you. After my last post I received an influx of messages from various people telling me I was definitely ‘enough’ already. I know I can be my own worst enemy, I’m learning new things about myself everyday and I am learning to be OK with who I am – it’s something we work on everyday.

So to the following…

Julie, Gel, Nat, Briana, Mary Jane, Laura, Momma Sophs, Mr AND Mrs Taylor (who messaged me separately), Tom, Auntie P, Katie, Dalbs (Well done for not cutting anyone), Maureen, Michelle, Sammy, Dina, Mama Sewell, My sisters, Donna and everyone else… BIG LOVE. Thank you.

Also thank you to Megan – I’m so glad you understood what I meant, you made me feel less crazy about it!

 

I honestly didn’t expect the reaction I got, I was just simply sharing my thoughts as I always do.

 

Today is a new day. Today I am ok. Today I am ok with who I am.

 

Someone recently told me they think I am ‘authentic’ – for me that is a huge compliment; I strive to be a lot of things and authentic is one of them.

I am me. I am not perfect. I have my chaos. I am emotional. I cry over stupid things. I get angry. I withdraw into myself. I doubt myself. I love people but hate them as well. I love to laugh. If you’re important to me I will tell you. I can be moody. I sometimes need a hug or a pat on the head. I am loyal – probably blindly. I am an all -or – nothing type girl. I need looking after. I will never forget how you made me feel. I will always listen and try and help where I can. Music is my therapy. I am sarcastic. I am scatty. I love learning about people. I need reassurance from time to time. I can be insecure. I am sunshine and showers. I am a million and one different things; I can only hope to be good enough for you.

If I am not, there isn’t much I can do about it.

This is me.

Are you in? If you are, great.

If you’re not, that’s ok too.

I’ll miss you though.

 

xoxo Micks

 

This song reminds me of you

What I’m listening to: Pentatonix; PTX Vol. IV – Classics (dem harmonies, though!)

 

 

Hiya pals,

I hope you’re all well. I’ve had a lovely weekend of work and general social merriment. I’ve even found time to start reading a new book after not having read anything since April (we can safely say that my aim of reading 2 books a month went out the window, ay) This book though, I’m in it hook, line and sinker. It’s called ‘I am missing’ by Tim Weaver about a guy that wakes up on a beach with no memory trying to find out who he is. I’m intrigued.

Anyway, today’s post is about the best therapy – music. I have posted before about how much I love it, my history with it and even my Desert Island Discs.

I always have and always will believe music is one of the few things that can bring people together. I have so many memories tied to songs; both good and bad memories. They are both as important as each other.

 

There are also songs that remind me of certain people – the other day in the car I was listening to Magic (my absolute fave station, no shame) and no less than four songs came on in a row that reminded of my best friend, Rachel.

  1. Hold on by Wilson Phillips – it’s ‘our’ song
  2. Despacito – Luis Fonzi and Daddy Yankee – anything Spanish we tie to each other as we became pals when we lived in Valencia
  3. I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas – it was the soundtrack to so many nights out in Valencia.
  4. Fast Car by Tracy Chapman – one of Rachel’s favourite songs (if not her favourite) so it always makes me think of her when I see her.

N.B when I say the other day I can mean anything from 6 months ago until yesterday

Then because I’m self-centred I wanted to know what songs remind other people of me so I asked.

Here’s what they said…

 

Sophie

Mulan – Reflection, because I think you’re still trying to find yourself

Frozen – Let it Go, because we ran around Paris singing this (much to Leanne’s embarrassment)

I’ll make a man out of you from Mulan reminds me of Sophia because we both love it. As soon as one of us says ‘Let’s get down to business’ that’s it, get ready for the show.

 

Leanne

Brown Sugar – The Rolling Stones; “I don’t know why, just ‘cause”

(I have no idea how Leanne’s brain works as we have never listened to this song together)

Anything Ed Sheeran because he is Leanna’s favourite. Also, Elvis ‘Can’t help falling love’ reminds me of Sophia and Leanna because it is ‘their’ song and it’s so cute!

 

Rachel

Hold on – Wilson Phillips “because it’s our song”

I Gotta Feeling – The Black Eyed Peas “because Valencia”

Anything by Jason Derulo “because you used to be obsessed with him” (It’s true, sorrynotsorry)

Carlos Baute – Te Regalo – this song is sooooo cheesy but we both love it

 

Aside from the ones I mentioned earlier, anything UB40. They’re her fave.

 

Diane

Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Ray “You were sad for such a long time and it makes me smile to think how far you’ve come”

 

How nice is that? Thanks, Dalbs. Mine for Diane are Amy Winehouse – Rehab and Rick Astley ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ , we spent sooooo many afternoons sorting the delivery out dancing and singing to these songs. Oh and Sugababes ‘About You Now’ that was another one we danced to.

Amy

I see the light – Tangled “your fave”

Do it like a dude – Jessie J “you put it on a CD for me when we were on placement together and sang it allll the time in the car”

I was made for loving you – Tori Kelly and Ed Sheeran “you suggested it to me for our wedding and it made it on our wedding playlist”

Girls by Marina and the Diamonds because Ams said it was written about me and I’ve always remembered that, Ho Hey by the Lumineers because it was another song at her wedding and also 5,6,7,8 by Steps because she loves a line dance…

Charlie

Paolo Nutini – Candy “I don’t know why, it just does”

Anything by Taylor Swift “because of our epic singalongs in the car”

Taylor Swift, for exactly the same reason plus ‘Dreams’ by Fleetwood Mac (such a tune)

 

Byng

Walkashame – Meghan Trainor “reminds me of the car ride to Norfolk for Amy’s wedding

Love on Top – Beyonce “we listened to it loads when we stayed in London”

 

Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepson. If you are ever lucky enough to meet Byng ask her about this song and Milan. That’s all I’m gonna say.

 

Jade

Happy – Pharrell Williams “every time it comes on my mom says ‘Oh I miss Michaela’ “

Let her go – Passenger / Best Song Ever – One Direction “because you listened to Passenger loads on the road trip and drove me mad with the One Direction one on the trip too.

It’s not my fault, Harry Styles is my one true love he just doesn’t know it yet. The song that always reminds me of Jade is Ryan Bingham ‘The Weary Kind’, I remember we were front row for one of his shows in Kings Cross and we both cried at this song and he cried too!

I know for sure I asked other people but in a move that is completely out of character I cannot find where I wrote them down and I have a habit of clearing all my chats so I can’t even go back and check. My bad.

Send them to me again, sure.

I’ll try not to lose them this time.

Xoxo

Micks

Desert Island Discs

 

Good morrow to you the reader of this post.

I hope this finds you all well. It is 11:26 on a Saturday morning, I have worked 750 hours this week, stood sodden in a field (ok well, Kew Gardens) whilst finally seeing one of my favourite singers live during the biggest downpour of the week – I think I’m still damp. I now have a weekend off – Halle-bloody-lujah!

This weeks post – as given away by the title – is my desert island discs. Some of you will be familiar with the BBC4 radio show, others the podcast version. I do not listen to Radio 4 (shocking, I know) but I have recently discovered the podcast and it may be my new favourite thing; as I write this I am listening to Russell Brand’s episode.

For those that don’t know the format here’s what it looks like. Each show there is a new castaway, they choose 8 discs they can take with them to a desert island. They then get to chose one over all others that they would save. It then got me to thinking about what my desert island discs would be – it was really effin hard to choose and ask me next week and I may have changed my mind BUT for now here are mine.

 

Paolo Nutini –Candy

I have long been a fan of Paolo. I remember seeing him in a small venue in Camden back in, maybe, 2009 and I was blown away by two things; the voice and the sweat- I have never seen someone sweat that much!

There are so many memories attached to this song and it reminds me of a time when I was truly happy – I didn’t really realise just how happy I was until I wasn’t anymore but this song always makes me smile and takes me back, at least in my head, to that time.

 

Dizzee Rascal – Fix Up, Look Sharp

 What a bad boy tune. This reminds me of being a teenager at school and whilst I wasn’t particularly enamored with school and I don’t have massively fond memories of that time I have always loved this song and I was at school the first time I heard it. Now it’s my go to song when I need to get motivated, as soon as I hear that first ‘Oiiiiii’ I just smile and think YES SON.

 

Andrea Bocelli – Con Te Partiro

Switching it up a tad from grime to classical… this song is just magic. Andrea’s voice is outstanding. It has such a calming effect on me and I cant help but just close my eyes and appreciate it when I hear it. Big up my dad for bringing Andrea into my life.

 

Passenger – Holes

If you have me on social media you’ll know I saw him live for the first time this week. I was soaked to the bone but standing in the middle of Kew Gardens in my own little Passenger filled bubble was the happiest I’ve been in a long while. Holes is my favourite song of his and so you can imagine my delight when he closed the show with this.

For me, this song is all about human resilience. It reminds me that we all have our shit but you gotta just pick yourself up and carry on. It’s a good reminder to not wallow in self pity. “We’ve got holes in heart, yeah we’ve got holes in our lives. Where we’ve got holes, we’ve got holes but we carry on”

 

Christina Perri – I believe

 For someone who seems to constantly question herself and is always a bit confused by life this is a brilliant, almost theme tune. The lyrics are what speak to me more than anything and it’s my go –to song whenever I’ve felt a bit lost or been lost in the haze of mental illness. Those of you that suffer with Mental Health problems know it can totally strip you of your identity and this song always kind of brings me back and reminds me it’s a phase and to just breathe.

 

Perfume Genius – Can’t Help Falling in Love

Everyone knows this song but not everyone knows this version. One of my favourite things is when people send me new music to listen to and my favourite sarcastic ray of sunshine sent me this a year or so ago. It’s now one of my most played songs. I adore it.

 

Kid Cudi – Pursuit of Happiness

 My theme tune. That’s all you need to know.

 

John Lennon – Just Like Starting Over

Surprised? Of course John made the list, it would be wrong to go to a desert island without him. I struggled to pick a song because I actually have a few of his that I would love to take but this one tops the list.

 

The song I would save above all others is Kid Cudi’s Pursuit of Happiness.

 

Kirsty Young (who hosts) also gives all castaways the Bible, the complete work of Shakespeare and one other book of their choice so my book will be a ‘How to play piano’ book. I am always annoyed that I never bothered to pick up and learn how to play.

I did consider Harry Potter but I don’t think a series of books is allowed and I would just become frustrated with the fact I couldn’t finish the series.

 

My Luxury Item would be a piano to go with my book– how cool would it be to go to a desert island for a while and then come back with a new talent?

 

And that’s it.

 

What would your desert island discs be? Tell me do.

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I’ve done the impossible.

Where I am: Mi casa

 

What I’m listening to: John Lennon ‘Imagine’ (It’s always appropriate)

 

Evening chums!

 I’ve had a cray cray few weeks and have found myself faaaar behind in not only writing but also a lot of the other goals I have set for myself this year. This blog is nothing too heavy – there is only so much pain my heart can take and this past while there has been a lot. For that reason this post is nice and lighthearted – however, as any Disney fan will appreciate, it has also caused me a lot of trauma. Yes, y’all. I’ve done the impossible. I listed my top ten Disney movies.

It was traumatic to say the least. My top 3 were easy, but it’s the rest. I never thought it could be done, but here we are. Impossible is nothing.

Here we go… At number 10 we have….

 

Brother Bear

I remember first watching this when I was about 15. I laughed – those moose’s crack me up every time. I cried. It is the story of Kenai, a young Indian boy who is turned into a bear and learns some valuable life lessons.

I sang (Phil Collins, I thank you for a banging soundtrack) I’ve also been told I look like Koda more than once, I’m good with that because he cute af.

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Tarzan

Another Phil Collins soundtrack, PRAISE BE TO JESUS. He’s up there with Alan Menken for me.

Tarzan, we all know the story – “Me Tarzan, You Jane” What a guy.

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Moana

The most recent release on this list, I adore this movie. Lin Manuel-Miranda delivered one of the BEST soundtracks to date and I have been known to burst into a song (or 6) from this movie in the middle of the pub. Everyone sing with me “I WAS A DRAB LITTLE CRAB ONCE”.

Moana is our heroine who saves her people by travelling across the ocean, to restore the heart to Te Fiti with the help of a few friends. Also, I really want a pet pig like Moana.

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Lilo and Stitch

C’maaaaannnn. This had to be on my list. Lilo is a bit of an oddball – which I’m sure we can all relate to. She wants a friend so her sister lets her adopt a ‘dog’ whom she calls Stitch. Little does she know that he’s actually the galaxy’s most wanted extraterrestrial. Stitch has issues and doesn’t really like people (I can relate on SO many levels) but Lilo is determined to tame him.

This is the movie that showed there are good guys out there (David) and taught that “Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten”

I’m not crying, you’re crying! Oh and Elvis Presley is on the soundtrack. I’m sold.

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Pocahontas

What I wouldn’t give to have my very own Grandmother Willow. From the age of about 10 I wanted to be Pocahontas. I remember going to see it at the cinema – it was my first memory of seeing a movie in the cinema. I loved it. What a girl. Pocahontas was beautiful inside and out. Her best friend was a raccoon and her life coach was a tree. Colours of the Wind is one of my favourite Disney songs ever, it’s message is powerful and still resonates all these years later.

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Cinderella

My favourite Disney movie when I was small. This always reminds me of being off school and poorly because that was when I would get to watch it the most. I wanted my own posse of mice friends, a dog called Bruno and the fairy godmother. I’m good without the dead dad and evil step family though.

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Mulan

Mulan. I only watched this for the first time in the last few years but it has quickly become one of my favourites. SHE IS BADASS. What other girl can save the whole of China? Sure she had help, but it was her plan. I think this may have been the first Disney movie that showed us that you didn’t have to be the ‘pretty’ girl to succeed. Your brain is worth just as much as a pretty face, if not more.

Additionally, Eddie Murphy’s Mushu is a brilliant side kick for Mulan and is def in my top 5 sidekicks.

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Aladdin

Alan Menken soundtrack.

Robin Williams voiced sidekick (the Genie is the number one sidekick, ever.)

His best pal is a monkey.

WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE.

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Tangled

 My favourite Disney princess; Rapunzel. I mean. Hashtag hair goals. She looks at the world with wide naïve eyes and I love it. She has the knack of seeing the best in everyone and making friends with everyone – be it the grumpy palace horse, a pub full of villains or our male lead Mr Flynn Ryder. Another great soundtrack. The scene on the lake gave me my dream proposal even though I’m sure I never want to actually get married. Dreamy.

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PETER PAN

No surprises here. I am called the female Peter Pan at least once a month. I love him, even though that may sound a bit weird. Neverland is my dream home.

“To live would be an awfully big adventure”.

Wouldn’t it just.

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So there you have it… any surprises? I actually surprised myself when writing this. There are so many movies that nearly made the list but I stand proud of my top ten. Ask me next week though and numbers 5-10 may have changed. I’ve always been a fickle creature.

What is in your top ten? Tell me do, I could talk about Disney all day, everyday!

Manchester


I woke up at 3:30am Monday night to see the news about the Manchester attack. Half asleep I could not really process what I was seeing before my eyes. 
Having fallen back to sleep, I woke up again around 6am and again struggled to process what it was I was seeing.

The more I read, the more I see, the more I get upset. For me, and I’m sure all of you, the hardest thing for me to get my head around is why? Why would someone do this? How can someone have so much hatred in their heart and head to even THINK to do this, let alone carry the attack out. 

I have been in tears reading about what’s happened, I cannot even try to watch the news and many videos being circulated. Those poor people went out to lose themselves in music for the night and some ended up losing their lives. The youngest victim announced so far is only 2 1/2 years older than my precious Godson Oscar and my heart breaks to even THINK of him going through anything like this – I can’t even imagine what her parents are feeling.

Ariana herself tweeted a short while after saying 

I can imagine she is feeling guilty as hell that she chose tonight to play her show because if there had been no show then there may have been no attack (for the record I don’t believe this is true, I think it would have happened regardless).

What I hope Ariana, and more so all families of the victims take comfort in is that the majority of these people had just had the time of their lives. They had spent the evening laughing and singing and dancing and loving every second of it. 

I always look for the light in the dark times and in the press we can see them everywhere – from the taxi drivers offering free lifts home, the hotels taking in children, the beautiful hero that is Chris Parker – the homeless man who rushed to help and cradled someone as they died, so they didn’t die alone, the citizens of Manchester turning up to donate blood throughout today so that the hospitals would have enough supplies if needed, everyone that has donated to the fund for the victims… there are lights everywhere.
Manchester, I applaud you. Your residents have really shown what they’re made of in your hour of need. You have once again shown that we the people will not be beaten, we will continue to stand tall and extend hope and love to our neighbours – no matter their colour or creed. 
As with any attack like this it will take time to heal, it will take time to fully process and, for want of a better phrase, move on from it. The community will never quite be same, if only because there are 22 souls missing from their streets, from their homes and from their lives. Really, I don’t think it is something any of us can move on from. 
My heart breaks for anyone and everyone effected. I’m truly sorry.
Everyone has been very vocal about the attack and their opinions on it, I won’t document them here because, well you have google. All I will do is quote Harry Styles who spoke about it onstage in Mexico 

“…choose love every single day”
It’s what the world needs. 
Manchester, we’re with you. 

Always. 

Music and Me

Date: Saturday 15th October

Time: 8:40am

Where I am: On a train to Kings Lynn via Cambridge

Listening to: Beyoncé – Lemonade

 

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“It is my belief that there are two things that bring people together; food and music”

 

I can’t remember where I read that, or rather a version of that, but I think it’s true, don’t you?

Look into a crowd at pretty much any concert and you will see a diverse mix of people. People of all ages, nationalities, genders, sexual orientations, religions, political beliefs… the list goes on. Music is accessible to all.

Music is so much apart of my life that a few of my closest ones have expressed surprise that I haven’t written about it yet, bar my post last year about my top ten Xmas songs. Especially as what I write comes from the ‘art and music is in mine.

I don’t understand those people who can go a day without listening to music. I don’t make a journey without my ear/headphones. On those days I’ve rushed out and forgotten them I feel lost and disappointed in myself.

The first thing I do in the morning when I wake is put on music. The last thing I do at night before bed is listen to music, I very often go to bed with my earphones in. I guess it is so much apart of my life, and I am so passionate about it that I can’t fathom how someone can be ‘meh’ on it and yes, those people do exist! I’ve met them!

I don’t know when my love (read: obsession) with music started, quite possibly in the womb. My mum especially is a big music fan; I envy some of the concerts she went when she was younger. Sixties and Seventies music were the soundtrack to my childhood. By all accounts my favourite song as a bub was Queen’s ‘Radio Ga Ga’. 27 years later and Queen still have a permanent position in my heart and iTunes library, although my favourite song of theirs is no longer ‘Radio Ga Ga’.

All through school I was involved in performing arts; choirs, musicals, plays. If there was music involved I was probably there. Until I was about 7 the music I listened to was whatever my mum and dad had on at the house. This could be anything from The Beatles to Chas n Dave to Dolly Parton to The Who. ELO, The Kinks, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Queen and Elvis were also staples of my childhood. Movie soundtracks that were played were always from Disney movies (as if there would be a blog about music without Disney mentioned) or musicals. My sisters and I spent many an hour singing along to Julie Andrews in ‘The Sound of Music’ and Judy Garland in ‘Meet me in St. Louis’.

When I was in middle school I started to move up to date with my music because of one thing and one thing only; The Spice Girls. Like most little girls I adored them – I wanted to be Baby Spice. Wannabe was the shit. Pop music had entered my life. From then on I loved everything Pop including boy bands. I was always an *NSync girl (Justin Timberlake was my first ever celebrity crush) although I did enjoy a bit of BSB too (Brian was my favourite). Every girl who liked a boy band had a favourite. It was the law. You said you liked a boy band and you had to have a favourite. I also discovered Britney Spears around this time. I remember seeing her ‘Baby, one more time’ video on The Box TV channel and thinking I want to be like her when I’m older!

 

The first tape I bought (yes, cassette tapes were a thing) was *NSync ‘I want you back’. I loved it. I played it to death in my Sony tape player. You couldn’t pry that thing from my hands. I sang along with Justin and the boys thinking I was the bee’s knees.

Then a group came along that made me forget about JT (not fully, you could never forget about that face). Remember Hanson? The first full-length album I ever bought was their Middle of Nowhere. I was 8 and I loved those longhaired boys. Zac the drummer was my favourite. By this point I had graduated to a Sony Walkman so this album was on a CD. It was a repeat of NSync – I played that CD and sang along with the boys. I danced around to Mmmmbop, cried to ‘I will come to you’ and wondered where Johnny went.

 

That classic 90’s pop was everything to me until I discovered two thing; boys with guitars and rap music. We’ll start with the latter.

I remember my big sister coming home from school one day talking about this rapper called Eminem. She’d bought his second album ‘The Marshall Mathers LP’. The whole house listened to that record a LOT. My mum and dad had never played rap before and this change of pace fascinated me. He spoke really quickly, swore, and it felt heavy. It wasn’t the airy-fairy pop I’d listened to for the last few years. This was anger, frustration. This was real; this was someone’s story, someone’s life. It wasn’t a giant machine that had handed a number 1 hit to a singer and said sing this. This had substance to it. In the years that followed I discovered the UK urban scene – of course So Solid Crew were at the forefront of that. 21 seconds was probably the first song from that scene to go mainstream. From them I discovered people like Kano, Wiley, Dizzee Rascal, Tinie Tempah, Skepta. All of whom are still regularly played from my iTunes library. The number of rap and hip-hop artists in my library has grown over the years but Em will always be my favourite; he was my first and you never forget that do you?! Having said that, I was introduced properly to Kid Cudi in 2010 and he is also a firm favourite now too.

 

Boys with guitars. You gotta love them right? When I was mid teens I discovered them and I loved them. Hanson were a pop equivalent, as were Maroon 5 when they dropped on the scene when I was in secondary school. These boys with guitars played heavier stuff, some called it emo – I called it bloody brilliant. Simple Plan, Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, All American Rejects, Bowling for Soup, My Chemical Romance – heavier stuff that made it’s way into my headphones included System of a Down and Bullet for My Valentine.

 

I’ve also, in the last few years, rediscovered a love for all things Country that had lain dormant since my childhood years. Currently Kacey Musgraves is my favourite.

 

As you can gather my taste is very varied. Music is my therapy and it has always been there for me. I went to a Paramore concert in 2010 at the 02 – it was around the time Hayley Williams had been catapulted into the mainstream because of her feature on B.O.B’s ‘Airplanes’ – and during their very impressive set (Paramore’s back catalogue is banging) she said something that has stuck with me all these years:

 

“Never stop supporting music because there will never be a day when music isn’t there to support you”

 

And it’s true. There is a song for every person, every mood. Whatever emotion you have there is a song that will be there to reflect that. The power of music – it’s a mad ting init. And also really, really cool.

 

I was going to list my favourite songs for my many, many, many moods but I think this post has been long enough. Maybe another time.

I would, however, love to hear your favourite singers, bands and songs. I’m always looking for something new to listen to 🙂

 

 

Until next time,

 

Xoxo

 

Micks