april, 2018

bonjour and hello to you, the reader of this post.

how are you? well i hope. is it just me or has april been another january? as in, it’s felt like it has lasted about 700 weeks. it is finally the end of the month which means i can use my favourite meme in this post because…

how am i? well, this month i’ve mainly spent it feeling like i’m in the way and a bit forgotten if i’m honest. which, i know sounds to most either

  1.  bratty
  2.  utterly ridiculous
  3.  a bit pathetic

the thing is, i know it is probably all of the above but it’s how i have been feeling. so shoot me, why don’t ya. it’s a feeling i’ve tried (unsuccessfully) to shake off. i know people are just very busy and that i am not the centre of their world. i know that cancelled plans and minimal communication is just a result of people being busy and having more important things taking up their time but it’s still how i’ve been feeling and i wont lie to you. and i wont apologise for it either because, as i’ve told many a person, you should never apologise for how you feel.

in a complete 180 i have also been feeling very inspired by all the marathon runners, both Brighton and London. how fantastic are they all? (answer: very)

our very own Teddy’s Tribe did it, raising a phenomenal amount of money in the process. the cheerleaders spent their time wandering around Brighton seafront (one of my favourite places in England, just FYI) sporting their Teddy’s Tribe Foundation T Shirts, and myself the chipped tooth and fat lip i gained courtesy of my nephew on the train down there.

hero of the month

celebrity

Jameela Jamil

i have followed Jameela for what feels like years now. i remember her presenting on T4 back in the day but i really started to love her when i started reading her columns in Glamour magazine. at least i think it was Glamour, it might have been Cosmo, it was one of them. i loved how ballsy she was, i loved that she didn’t hold any prisoners, i loved that she had fucking opinions like a real person and not some puppet created by a PR company to give the generally acceptable answers that didn’t differ from the status quo.

in more recent times people will know her as Tahani in NBC’s ‘The Good Place’. holy forking shirtballs it’s good. it’s one of those shows that are very easy to watch.

she also runs two Instagram accounts, one of which is the reason she is my celebrity hero this month.

‘I Weigh’ is a movement. a movement that encourages people to see themselves as more than the number on the scale because that is only part, a small part, of what we are. it’s bloody fantastic.

personal

there isn’t one this month. sorry, i just generally hate everyone this month sooooo

book of the month

giving myself a pat on the back because i read not one, not two but THREE books this month.

learning more about people April edition was : Patti Smith – Just Kids

what a story. a story of friendship, love and survival. a story based in one of the best cities in the world – NYC. a story that shows that success is not an overnight job for anyone. hard work is rewarded. a beautiful read that i would highly recommend.

Joanna Nadin – The Queen of Bloody Everything

a novel. this was sent to me for freee (i love it when that happens). i had to read it and then give my feedback on it. what i loved about this is that, whilst it was a love story, the main love story wasn’t based on romantic love but rather parental. the main relationship was between a mother and daughter – and we all know how complicated they can be.

Dolly Alderton – Everything I Know about Love

now this was supposed to be my ‘learn more about other people: May edition’ book but i read it in one day. so i need a new book for may, if you have any suggestions then send them to me.

my friend Amy, upon seeing i was reading this, said to me she wants to start a cult of dolly. well, Amy, sign me up. i devoured this book. every 20 something woman needs it.

i also realised after i finished that i always seem drawn to people and the stories of people that aren’t necessarily traditional. a lot of the biographies i read the people have made royal cock ups, or have had their hearts shattered, or have some form of mental illness. they’ve experienced the very worst of what life can give you, felt terribly alone, or like a failure, like they’ve been left behind but have lived to tell the tale. their stories fill me with hope and a sense of calm. they make me feel less alone, i guess.

soundtrack to the month.

there have been three songs on repeat for me across this month.

patti smith – because the night

anne-marie – 2002

chris lane – take back home girl.

bad joke of the month

this got me giggling this month

food of the month

i’ve been enjoying yoghurt pouches like the 5 year old i am and also, lots of tea and biscuits. as lent finished i’ve been making up for lost time. oh and MARMITE CHEESE. my mouth is watering just writing that. motherforking shirt balls, it’s delicious.

realisation of the month

i will always have a love-hate relationship with people. they fascinate me, but they also piss me right off.

april 2018

i’ve been thinking a lot about stories this month. everyone’s life is a story and we try to write it simply as beginning – middle – end but perhaps we have it wrong. perhaps our stories aren’t as simple as that. perhaps they are lots of little stories that each has their own beginning –middle – end. maybe the people we meet are who make up the chapters. maybe we need to let go of the role we think people play in our stories to see the role they really play. i’m sure i’ve played the heroine in some, the villain in others. i’m sure i have hurt people in ways i can never make up for even though it hurts to admit that. perhaps my ability to face the things i don’t want to, the things i convinced myself i wasn’t strong enough to make me the hero of some stories, perhaps it makes me the hero of my own story. the character i play in other people’s lives, the role i’m cast in is not mine to decide, really. some chapters, no matter how much time passes, will still be painful to revisit, as painful as they were when they came to an end. these chapters will mean we actively avoid things; places, foods, movies and music because they remind us of that pain and reliving some stories are too painful. at least for now. one day we’ll gain those things back – sure, deep down we’ll hear that song and remember that person that broke our heart, or that friend that let us down, but one day, we’ll be able to claim back those things and rewrite their meaning in our chapters, in our stories. at least that’s what i’m hoping.

happy may, friends.

be good. to yourselves and others.

xoxo micks

Music and Me

Date: Saturday 15th October

Time: 8:40am

Where I am: On a train to Kings Lynn via Cambridge

Listening to: Beyoncé – Lemonade

 

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“It is my belief that there are two things that bring people together; food and music”

 

I can’t remember where I read that, or rather a version of that, but I think it’s true, don’t you?

Look into a crowd at pretty much any concert and you will see a diverse mix of people. People of all ages, nationalities, genders, sexual orientations, religions, political beliefs… the list goes on. Music is accessible to all.

Music is so much apart of my life that a few of my closest ones have expressed surprise that I haven’t written about it yet, bar my post last year about my top ten Xmas songs. Especially as what I write comes from the ‘art and music is in mine.

I don’t understand those people who can go a day without listening to music. I don’t make a journey without my ear/headphones. On those days I’ve rushed out and forgotten them I feel lost and disappointed in myself.

The first thing I do in the morning when I wake is put on music. The last thing I do at night before bed is listen to music, I very often go to bed with my earphones in. I guess it is so much apart of my life, and I am so passionate about it that I can’t fathom how someone can be ‘meh’ on it and yes, those people do exist! I’ve met them!

I don’t know when my love (read: obsession) with music started, quite possibly in the womb. My mum especially is a big music fan; I envy some of the concerts she went when she was younger. Sixties and Seventies music were the soundtrack to my childhood. By all accounts my favourite song as a bub was Queen’s ‘Radio Ga Ga’. 27 years later and Queen still have a permanent position in my heart and iTunes library, although my favourite song of theirs is no longer ‘Radio Ga Ga’.

All through school I was involved in performing arts; choirs, musicals, plays. If there was music involved I was probably there. Until I was about 7 the music I listened to was whatever my mum and dad had on at the house. This could be anything from The Beatles to Chas n Dave to Dolly Parton to The Who. ELO, The Kinks, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Queen and Elvis were also staples of my childhood. Movie soundtracks that were played were always from Disney movies (as if there would be a blog about music without Disney mentioned) or musicals. My sisters and I spent many an hour singing along to Julie Andrews in ‘The Sound of Music’ and Judy Garland in ‘Meet me in St. Louis’.

When I was in middle school I started to move up to date with my music because of one thing and one thing only; The Spice Girls. Like most little girls I adored them – I wanted to be Baby Spice. Wannabe was the shit. Pop music had entered my life. From then on I loved everything Pop including boy bands. I was always an *NSync girl (Justin Timberlake was my first ever celebrity crush) although I did enjoy a bit of BSB too (Brian was my favourite). Every girl who liked a boy band had a favourite. It was the law. You said you liked a boy band and you had to have a favourite. I also discovered Britney Spears around this time. I remember seeing her ‘Baby, one more time’ video on The Box TV channel and thinking I want to be like her when I’m older!

 

The first tape I bought (yes, cassette tapes were a thing) was *NSync ‘I want you back’. I loved it. I played it to death in my Sony tape player. You couldn’t pry that thing from my hands. I sang along with Justin and the boys thinking I was the bee’s knees.

Then a group came along that made me forget about JT (not fully, you could never forget about that face). Remember Hanson? The first full-length album I ever bought was their Middle of Nowhere. I was 8 and I loved those longhaired boys. Zac the drummer was my favourite. By this point I had graduated to a Sony Walkman so this album was on a CD. It was a repeat of NSync – I played that CD and sang along with the boys. I danced around to Mmmmbop, cried to ‘I will come to you’ and wondered where Johnny went.

 

That classic 90’s pop was everything to me until I discovered two thing; boys with guitars and rap music. We’ll start with the latter.

I remember my big sister coming home from school one day talking about this rapper called Eminem. She’d bought his second album ‘The Marshall Mathers LP’. The whole house listened to that record a LOT. My mum and dad had never played rap before and this change of pace fascinated me. He spoke really quickly, swore, and it felt heavy. It wasn’t the airy-fairy pop I’d listened to for the last few years. This was anger, frustration. This was real; this was someone’s story, someone’s life. It wasn’t a giant machine that had handed a number 1 hit to a singer and said sing this. This had substance to it. In the years that followed I discovered the UK urban scene – of course So Solid Crew were at the forefront of that. 21 seconds was probably the first song from that scene to go mainstream. From them I discovered people like Kano, Wiley, Dizzee Rascal, Tinie Tempah, Skepta. All of whom are still regularly played from my iTunes library. The number of rap and hip-hop artists in my library has grown over the years but Em will always be my favourite; he was my first and you never forget that do you?! Having said that, I was introduced properly to Kid Cudi in 2010 and he is also a firm favourite now too.

 

Boys with guitars. You gotta love them right? When I was mid teens I discovered them and I loved them. Hanson were a pop equivalent, as were Maroon 5 when they dropped on the scene when I was in secondary school. These boys with guitars played heavier stuff, some called it emo – I called it bloody brilliant. Simple Plan, Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, All American Rejects, Bowling for Soup, My Chemical Romance – heavier stuff that made it’s way into my headphones included System of a Down and Bullet for My Valentine.

 

I’ve also, in the last few years, rediscovered a love for all things Country that had lain dormant since my childhood years. Currently Kacey Musgraves is my favourite.

 

As you can gather my taste is very varied. Music is my therapy and it has always been there for me. I went to a Paramore concert in 2010 at the 02 – it was around the time Hayley Williams had been catapulted into the mainstream because of her feature on B.O.B’s ‘Airplanes’ – and during their very impressive set (Paramore’s back catalogue is banging) she said something that has stuck with me all these years:

 

“Never stop supporting music because there will never be a day when music isn’t there to support you”

 

And it’s true. There is a song for every person, every mood. Whatever emotion you have there is a song that will be there to reflect that. The power of music – it’s a mad ting init. And also really, really cool.

 

I was going to list my favourite songs for my many, many, many moods but I think this post has been long enough. Maybe another time.

I would, however, love to hear your favourite singers, bands and songs. I’m always looking for something new to listen to 🙂

 

 

Until next time,

 

Xoxo

 

Micks