• when this is over •

well saturday nights sure look different don’t they? or i’d imagine they do for most; mine are basically the same as they always were because i hate people and try to avoid them at all costs in a normal world, let alone a covid-19 world.

how are we all doing then? i won’t lie i’m semi surprised i haven’t gone completely insane. i never spend this much time with my family but i’m coping well. i think part of it is knowing i’m actually lucky to be isolating with people; i know some who are completely alone and really struggling with it. there’s no amount of facetime that can help. actually, whilst we’re on the subject of video calls can we all just agree that we’re going to stop sharing the photos of our zoom calls? no one cares anymore… ok fine, i don’t care anymore. it’s been 3 weeks and i’m over them. thanks

the initial novelty of isolating has worn off now hasn’t it? at the beginning i feel like we were all super motivated. the instagram posts of workouts and baking were frequent, everyone not working from home was excited to be able to day drink 7 days a week. netflix marathons were things to be proud of. 3 weeks in everyone (at least those i’ve spoken to) has hit a wall. they’re over their new fitness regime, they don’t want to day drink all week anymore, – yes there are people like that in the world – they would rather eat cereal out the packet than bake anything else. (side note: is it just me that can’t believe how fast the time is going?)

i’ve been keeping myself busy with work mon-fri and then making lists for the weekend to try and stay productive. the bonus of this is also that if i’m ticking things off my list and being productive it means i’m not eating everything i lay my beady eyes on. honestly, it’s an issue. i’m one cheese mini away from putting one of those signs in my fridge that say “you’re not hungry, you’re bored. close the fucking door”

another perk is staying productive helps manage the anxiety, worry and fear that creeps up around this situation. the longer this goes on the more i’m seeing people talk and post about the effect this is taking mentally on them. staying productive gives me something to focus on, albeit just short term but once one task is done it’s on to the next and then before you know it it’s bedtime. it helps.

something else that has also helped is making sure i stay connected with people outside of my house in ways that aren’t just over text. i’ve never quite appreciated the value in hearing someone’s voice in a phone call, or seeing their face in a photo. video calls are also sanity savers (but remember we’re not posting pics of these anymore, go team). this thursday just gone we had a work social over zoom, we all brought a glass and did a pub quiz. it was the first time i’d laughed like that since before lockdown.

something i’ve started doing this week though (inspired by dolly alderton and pandora sykes) is make a list of all the stuff i’m going to do when we get to go back into the real world. this is something that is getting me through the sleepless nights and moments of panic. i encourage you all to do it. honestly, it will make you feel a million times better. see mine below…

• run around to my sisters to hug my nephew SO TIGHT and then spend the day playing whatever games he wants to play/ watching whatever he wants to watch and secretly feed him cookies

• take a trip to the seaside to visit my best friend and 2 godchildren. squeeze them all, multiple times. laugh with them. lots.

• go to the gym with Denise

• spend the whole time at the gym with Denise complaining that we’re at the gym

• make the executive decision with Denise that a summer bod is overrated and go and have a massive fry up instead

• celebrate my little Sophia’s birthday and allow her and Leanna to get me a bit drunk

• book a flight, to anywhere

• get my hair and nails done!

• go to nandos (spicy rice come to meeee)

• go to the theatre

• have a sleepover at Byng’s house (she doesn’t know this yet) with her and Amy. say nice things about them to their actual faces

• visit Kew Gardens and enjoy being outside with people instead of getting pissed off with them

honestly, this is just a handful of things i’m looking forward to. there are so many more things i want to do, other important people i want to hug and never let go of and things i haven’t thought of yet but adding to this list fills me with such joy.

i can’t wait to do all this and more. before i go back to being the people hating (but secretly people loving) person you all have come to know.

nothing lasts forever, this won’t either. we can do this.

sending all the love to wherever you are,

xoxo M