Where I am: My boudoir
Listening to: Simple Plan / Boys Like Girls / P@TD! etc
It’s become a bit of a habit for me to write these ‘lessons learnt’ lists, or ‘things to remember’ lists. I’ve written these at birthdays and new years over the last few years. If you’re bored of them then you can stop reading now. I offer no apologies though, it’s good to remind yourself of these things and I enjoy reflecting on the past year.
Here’s your ‘bye 2016, hi 2017’ edit.
1. Humans are scary, be kind.
We are destroying our planet and each other simultaneously. It is not religion or race that is doing these things. It is humans. The more I see, the scarier the human race seems to me. So be kind, the world needs more of that.
2. Not everyone signs up for your rules
This is something someone said to be a couple of months ago and it has helped me SO much and makes total sense. I am guilty of doing too much for people that don’t deserve it. I invest my time and energy in almost everyone and give relationships my all and then become surprised when I don’t receive the same care, thoughtfulness and consideration back. I found myself disappointed in people more often than not, I felt a lot of my friendships and relationships were one-sided. Until I was told this. Not everyone signs up for my rules. Just because I would do ‘x’ for someone, doesn’t mean they will do it for me. Humans are generally selfish creatures; call it survival of the fittest but we are always on the look out for number 1. We pick up people when we are bored, or need something that they can provide. Then we drop them with no second thought. Once their purpose is served we say goodbye and don’t look back. Now, I’m aware this is a very harsh view on people and the world but, let’s be honest, it’s pretty accurate.
Not everyone signs up for my rules. I just need to remind myself of that.
3. You need to live life for yourself – no one else.
This one seems like a given doesn’t it? But is it? How many times do we do something in a year that we didn’t want to do, but because it was expected of us? How many times do we grin and bear it just to keep the peace? Well you know what, eff that. No one wanted me to leave Mothercare (that I know of ha), everyone thought I was making a massive mistake. No one wants me to go off to Oz – most everyone has an opinion on it and that I should stay here and just be satisfied with what is available. My answer to that is, well, no. I’ve wanted to try Oz for a while, if I hadn’t left MC I wouldn’t be going there. You only regret the chances you don’t take, so let’s see what happens.
4. You’re never too old to make new friends
If you had asked me this time last year Id have said I’m cool with what I have. I have a good group of people around me, I don’t want or need anyone else. Fast forward a year and I have surprised myself. There’s people that have entered my life this year that I hope will be here to stay.
5. It’s ok to not know it all.
I have to religiously tell myself this. I hate not knowing everything. I’m used to being the person who helps everyone out and knows everything. It’s the Gemini in me. Jack of all trades, master of none type thing, you know? Well, the last half of 2016 and most of 2017 I have/will not know it all. New jobs, situations, friends etc … it’s ok to not know it all, sometimes we have to be the student again. The only person that seems to expect me to know it all is me.
6. Say yes. Wonderful things can happen.
7. Having high expectations isn’t a bad thing, people will rise to them if they want to be in your life.
You’re either worth it or you’re not. Do you really want people around that think you’re not? I didn’t think so. Never lower your standards.
8. Being vulnerable is ok.
I’ve often been described as stoic; unaffected by most things, void of emotion etc.
Example 1 “Michaela has no heart – she won’t cry at that movie”
Example 2 “You won’t get any sympathy from Michaela, so don’t cry in front of her. She’s a cold bitch”
Truth is, like most people, I am affected. I’ve just got very good at hiding it over the years so people can’t use it against me. Is that a bit too cliché? Probably, but it’s the truth. I’m slowly learning that it’s ok to show emotion, that not everyone will use it against me. I have a list of about 4 people I will cry in front of now. Baby steps, people. Baby steps.
9. People are allowed to change their minds.
Just that. Not everything is set in stone. People change their minds all the time. We might not like it, but it is a fact of life. The sooner we accept that, the better. ‘Tis what it is.
10. If it hurts you, walk away.
If being somewhere, or with someone hurts you stop going there and stop being with them. We have a tendency to over complicate the simple. If it hurts you, stop torturing yourself and walk away. It really is that simple.
11. Stop apologizing and start saying thank you instead.
This picture says it all. It’s a much nicer way to live life I think.
12. Take a minute each day to stop and smile.
60 seconds. That’s all I’m saying. It can change your whole day, because really is it a bad day, or life? Or just a bad 5 minutes that you’ve decided to milk all day? Turn that frown upside down, sucker!
13. If you want help, ask for it.
9 times out of 10 people are always willing to help. There is no shame in saying ‘Yo, I have no clue wtf I’m doing, help a sister out.’ Or you know, if you don’t want to ask for help keep suffering in silence. You do you, boo.
14. Everything is temporary.
Every moment is temporary. Feelings are temporary, places and people are too. You’ve survived 100% of what has happened to you so far, the pleasure and pain was all temporary. You’ll survive. How do you feel now? You’ll feel differently in six weeks, and different still 6 weeks after that. The same can be said for how you think, what you believe in, what you want. It’s all temporary.
15.You get back what you put in.
Some call it Karma, others call it hippy nonsense, I call it a truth. You get back what you put in. Positive things happen to positive people.
16. It’s nice to visit the past, but don’t stay there.
When we miss people, places or times in our lives we all revisit the past. Everyday at work when they call the flights to Valencia I get a pang of longing for what was and what could have been. It’s great to visit that time in my life but I can’t stay there because it takes away from now and stops me making new memories here. That was just one chapter of my life, there are still many more to come.
17.Note to self: One day you will be number one on someone’s list.
This is all we all really want. I know it’s all I really want. Hopefully 2017 will be that year, if not, there’s always 2018!
See you around my birthday for the next one. Ok bbyeeee