28 things you might not know about me. 

Where I am: sitting in Starbucks, Pumpkin Spice latte in a mug next to me (I’m so basic sometimes, it hurts)

Listening to: Mariah Carey (it’s really hard to not start singing at the top of my voice)

so, update time – after my post about World Mental Health Day i received a lot of messages of support from friends both near and far and so i’d just like to say thank you for that, i really appreciate that you all took the time out of your lives to reach out. thank you to those of you that shared your stories with me, it really is overwhelming just how many of us are touched by mental illness.

i have started therapy now – it’s weird but i’m hopeful it will be have a positive impact on me. i try really hard to not let it dictate my life.

i had a number of people message me to say that they would never had imagined i suffered, that had i not posted about it then and previously, i would be the last person they would have thought had depression and anxiety.

 

off the back of that, because we all know how egocentric i am, here are 28 other things you may not know about me…

  1. i will always be jealous of everyone that can play (competently play) the piano and violin. growing up my parents couldn’t afford for me to have lessons so it is something that i never learnt but always wanted to.

 

  1. my favourite seasons are spring and autumn. they are both transitional seasons and they feel just like starting over to me. spring is full of hope – everything is new. autumn clears my mind, when the leaves fall and so do the cobwebs in my head.

 

  1. i’m much more a ‘bunch of wildflowers’ girl than a ‘bunch of roses’ girl

 

  1. the best sounds in the world are my nephews laughs (all three of them) the sound of the waves crashing is a close second though.

 

  1. i am a bit of a tea snob – i take mine milk, no sugar. Preferably it will be a Barry’s tea bag or a Yorkshire. To end the debate once and for all – THE MILK GOES IN LAST.

 

  1. i do not like wine. Or champagne. i really wish i did. It looks so sophisticated, but it all tastes like vinegar to me. i do however enjoy a nice glass of Bucks Fizz and can stomach a glass of Prosecco but that’s as sophisticated as i get.

 

  1. if i were to ever design my own home and you told me i could have either a really big closet or a really big library i would choose a library every time.

  1. i really do want world peace

 

  1. the most perfect place i have ever been is the Island of Capri at sunset

 

  1. i really want to live by the seaside

 

  1. my friend Steph once bought me a notebook with a map of the world as a cover – she brought it for me to document my travels in. now, whenever i visit somewhere that requires me to board an aeroplane i always pick up a postcard from the destination and stick it in that book.

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  1. most girls i know have thought in great detail about their wedding and what they want it to be like. i have not. i have, however, thought a lot about what i’d like my funeral to be like (morbid, i know)

 

  1. although i was christened COE when i was a bubba and i’m not overly religious now, i do still believe in God. i’m not sure in which sense – i don’t believe it’s a big dude sitting on a cloud, but i do believe in some kind of higher being. i also believe that Karma is a very real force in this world.

 

  1. If i could have anyone narrate my life i think i would choose either David Attenborough or the guy that narrates Come Dine with Me because he is a sarcastic ray of sunshine.

 

  1. i am obsessed with Crime documentaries and stories (i’m not sure what that says about me,really)

 

  1. yes it’s true, i was on the telly not once, but twice. autographs are 50p. per letter.

 

  1. i am a musical freak. my favourite is West Side Story.

 

  1. if i watch friends with you i will most likely quote at least 50% of the dialogue at you. if you’re really lucky it may be more.

 

  1. unless it is work, a medical appointment or something like a wedding or funeral I will be at least 10 minutes late. at this point i’ve realised it’s just who i am as a person.

my friends know.

  1. i love Cliff Richard!! – i grew up watching Summer Holiday and The Young Ones (see no.17 musical freak) and i think this is why i love him.

 

  1. most people are scared of clowns, rodents, snakes, spiders… not me. i’m scared of Octopus and Squid. i’m shivering just thinking about them now. Eurgh.

 

  1. i will put ketchup with pretty much anything. there isn’t many dishes that a squirt of Heinz can’t make better.

 

  1. want to know if you matter to me? find out if i have a song/songs attached to you. music is in my heart and if you are too, there will be a song for you.

 

  1. my favourite handbag designer is Kate Spade. And, unpopular opinion time, i do not like Michael Kors. at all.

 

  1. i really love Caroline Flack. i want her to be my friend. the same goes for Dawn O’Porter

 

  1. i have a bit of a crush on Gary Oldman. especially as Sirius Black

 

  1. my favourite accent in the world is the Irish (Northern > Southern, soz guys)

 

  1. one of my earliest memories from when i was very young is someone walked past me in the town, burning my left hand with their cigarette. that’s how i learnt my left and right.

shantaram – pt. 1

where i am: montrose, CA

what im listening to: tori kelly- unbreakable smile

can i just say this holiday rocks! i haven’t been this relaxed in so long – i haven’t eaten  this much in forever – i am constantly full up. its got to the point where i may need to book an extra seat on the flight home to accommodate my increasingly large arse. not only that but i am getting the chance to write so much, i haven’t written in my notebook this much since the beginning of the year when i was a bum. the more i write, the clearer my head feels, always.

today’s post is a little different from the norm in that i’m going to be giving you someone else’s words and thoughts and not my own.

i am constantly fascinated with people, their stories, their lessons, their thoughts and views on life and everything that happens to us. 

if you’ve been reading my posts for a while you’ll know i can be quite sensitive (i pretend i am not “i don’t have a heart” is a favourite line of mine) but actually i am really sensitive and i feel everything probably a bit more than i should. i am that girl that can burst into tears over a book, a song or even an advert on the telly (yes, i’m a loser). 

i was recently lent a book by a friend called ‘shantaram’ by gregory david roberts. i am obsessed. there are so many truth bombs in the text, so many statements that make me really think and so many that resonate with me. i’m going to share some of them here. also, i’ve called this part one because i can guarantee i will end up sharing more from this book in the future. you’re welcome. 

“It took me a long time and most of the world to learn what I know about love and fate and the choices we make, but the heart of it came to me in an instant. The choice you make between hating and forgiving can be come the story of your life”

The best thing in the world is power… love is the opposite of power, that’s why we fear it so much”

“She loved the guy. She did it for him. She would’ve done anything for him. Some women are like that. Some loves are like that, from what I can see. Your love starts to feel like an overcrowded lifeboat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self respect and your independence. After a while you start throwing people out, your friends, people you used to know. And it’s still not enough. The lifeboat is still sinking and you know it’s going to take you down with it. I’ve seen that happen to a lot of girls here. I think that’s why I’m sick of love.”

“There’s a truth that’s deeper than experience. It’s beyond what we see, or even what we feel. It’s an order of truth that separates the profound from the merely clever, and the reality from the perception. We’re helpless usually in the face of it; and the cost of knowing it, like the cost of knowing love, is sometimes greater than any heart would willingly pay. It doesn’t always help us to love the world but it does prevent us from hating the world. And the only way to know the truth, is to share it, heart to heart…”

“I think that we all, each one of us, we all have to earn our future. I think the future is like anything else that is important. It had to be earned. If we don’t earn it, we don’t have a future at all. And if we don’t earn it, we don’t deserve it. We have to live in the present, more or less forever. Or worse, we have to live in the past. I think that’s probably what love is – a way of earning the future”

“One of the reasons we crave love, and seek it so desperately, is that love is the only cure for loneliness, and shame, and sorrow. But some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths about yourself are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. And some things are just so sad that only your soul can do the crying for you”

“Fate has every power over us but two. Fate cannot control our free will, and fate cannot lie. Men lie, to themselves more than to others, and to others more often than they tell the truth. But fate does not lie”

Reality – as you see it, as most people see it – is nothing more than an illusion. There is another reality, beyond what we see with our eyes. You have to feel your way into that reality with your heart. There is no other way”

“Justice is not only the way we punish those who do wrong. It is also the way we save them”

“It’s forgiveness that makes us what we are. Without forgiveness, our species would have anhilated itself in endless retributions. Without forgiveness, there would be no history. Without that hope, there would be no art, for every work of art is an act of forgiveness. Without that dream, there would be no love, for every act of love is in someway a promise to forgive. We live on because we can love, and we love because we can forgive”


i mean…  wow, right? 

some of those i read, and re read, and read again. i copied those down in my journal and annotated them, i added my thoughts (i haven’t done that here because i don’t think it’s necessary and would probably take away from the original message) some of those made me really sit and think. others brought me to tears. does that make me weird? most likely. i’m ok that. 

i’m about halfway through the book and i’m excited to see how it turns out. if you’re looking for a new book to read i can’t recommend it enough. 

xoxo

Micks 

feeling the love

oh hey.

it’s 6am in LA. I can’t sleep. so y’all are getting a post (2 in as many days #sorrynotsorry)

so, quick background on where i’m staying and who i’m staying with.

one of my best friends from university (hey, Jade) is from LA. Her mom (Momma Sophs) dad (Wilf) and god mom (Lisa) all live together in a beautiful house (her dad did a beaut of a job on it, he’s so talented). I’m staying with / visiting them. Jade isn’t here- she lives in Finland with her fella. My Irish pal is here too, though. I know, I know… it’s complicated.

i’ve know Jade for 9 years nearly, and her folks for maybe 6/7 of those. They have all known me during my struggles with depression and anxiety, they housed me for a summer so Jade and I could road trip west coast >> east, they housed me this January  when I had my breakdown over going to Australia or not. 

they know me well.

they know not to talk to me in the morning because I’m grumpy. They know I’m pretty laid back about most things – one of the reasons Jades mom likes to travel with me. They know I can be a sarcastic little shite. They know I’m obsessed with music; if I’m not listening to it, I’m reading about it. If I’m not reading about it, I’m singing. 

when I come here to visit it feels like a home from home. I feel so relaxed, there’s no pretense, no bullshit. 

they remind me that friends really are the family we choose for ourselves. I think to myself on every trip how did I luck out and meet Jade and then gain an extra family? a family that is genuinely concerned for my wellbeing.

yesterday morning I was in the kitchen and Momma Sophs and I had this conversation 

S “Oh I’m glad you’re here by yourself, I wanted to talk to you alone”

M “ok, whats up?”

S “are you ok, sweetie? You’re not feeling anxious, your depression hasn’t come back?”

M “no, I’m ok at the moment. Maybe a bit anxious with work but I’m fine”

S ” ok good, I just wanted to check because you’ve been really quiet this whole trip and I was really worried”

DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY AND LOVED I FELT WALKING AWAY FROM THAT CONVERSATION? 

Having conversations like that with anyone that has a history of mental illness is so, SO important. 

Knowing someone is looking out for you… priceless. 

This email from the universe is true 

I’m feeling the love 

Xoxo micks 

Just like John, I’m so tired. 

where i am: Los Angeles with my American fam.

where my head is at: who bloody knows. when it stops spinning I’ll let you know. 

It’s happening, friends. I’m getting old. I can feel it in myself. I realise 28 isn’t really old in a numbers sense but I’m not talking about numbers and years. I’m talking about in my mindset, in my head. 

I’m feeling old. I’m feeling tired. I’m feeling the need to slow down and take some time for me, myself and I. I’m feeling like I want to start being selfish with my time. Since I was 20 or 21 every single holiday I took from work has been filled with trips here, there and everywhere. One of the first lines people say to me when they see me is ‘Where’s your next trip?’ Or ‘Where are you going to next?’. The self confessed free-spirit of my family, the traveller, the nomad I have always been the adventurer. I have loved it. I do love it, still, but I’m tired.

I have done some of the most incredible things on these holidays – I have had tomatoes thrown at my face during La Tomatina in Spain, seen the sunrise across Bryce Canyon in the US, got lost in the caves in Postonja, Slovenia. I’ve climbed Mount Vesuvius, sang and danced my way down the Champs Elysées, had my heart broken walking around Anne Frank House. I stayed out until the sun came up with friends I just made in NYC, felt the flames of Fallas on my face (not literally) in Valencia, visited Obama at the White House, swooned over the views at Giant’s Causeway… and so much more. 

But I’m tired.

I’m really fucking tired.

I was talking to one of my friends about this recently. I said that after my trip to India I have no trips planned. For the first time in a long time, I’m totally ok with that. It’s a very odd thing for me to say. I’m always looking ahead to the next holiday, the next adventure. Sure there are loose plans, but nothing confirmed.

My friend agreed it was odd and I said how tired I was. I said how I feel like I’m always travelling and that I have minimal time at home, to spend my time just being with the people I have in my life in England. My friend said to me that it’s ok to be selfish with my free time. That sometimes it is necessary. Sometimes, instead of flying off to visit someone when I have rare time off work, it’s ok to be selfish and say either ‘you come here’ or simply, ‘no’. I’m taking this time for me. I’m taking this time to be at home, to sleep in and see the people in this country. 

I realise this may post may rub people the wrong way, it may come across as ungrateful; you may be thinking I’m a brat. I promise you I’m not, that’s not my intention. I am aware how lucky I am to have travelled as I do, as I have. 

I’m also aware that I may change my mind on this (hello the sometimes fickle Gemini mind), perhaps I’m feeling this way as I’ve only had one week off since March. 

I’m just saying that right now, in this moment, I’m tired.

I’m currently visiting friends in the US. I go home, have 5 days at work and then fly to India for 2 weeks. After that, aside from work, my time is my own. 

I can’t fucking wait 

Xoxo Micks 

The One With The Nostalgic Traveller.

Facebook ‘on this day’ kindly reminded me that this time last year I was in NYC having a fucking ball.

This year I was on a train at 6:20am. That got me all nostalgic for adventures before and excited for travels to come.

One thing I realised as I was scrolling through was that I travel differently now, that the reasons I visit places has changed. When I was in my early twenties I travelled because I could, I travelled to places so that I could see what was out there and maybe find my place in the world. I would never have dreamed about going back to the same place twice, why would you? There is so much world to see, I was always worried that it would never live up to my previous experiences. That view worked for a while, until it didn’t.

I’ve become a much more nostalgic traveller, I long to visit all of the places I’ve been to before BECAUSE I know they will rarely live up to my previous experiences; normally they surpass them.

When you first visit somewhere you’re a little bit blind to what to do, where to go, what is a must see vs what is a tourist trap. The second visit is a much truer version of the place – you know where you are, you know the things that you want to do rather than the things you feel you need to do because of the numerous ‘things to do in….’ lists in travel guides and on websites.

Travel has always given me a new perspective on things, there is something about being in a new place where you don’t know anyone that makes me reevaluate my life. The anonymity and no expectations of anyone that you meet or see (except those you’re with, but even those relationships feel different) give you a sense of freedom; or at least they do for me.

I have travelled a decent amount, not a much as some but definitely more than others. I’m so grateful to have those experiences and those friends that have come with me.

Here are a few of my favourites.

Valencia – The One That Changed It All

There is no way I could start this list with anything else. This temporary move to another country in 2010 with 3 girls I didn’t know is the one that changed it all and makes my heart smile the most.

I met my best friend in this city, realised that the Spanish really make everything better, fell in love and left a part of my heart behind.

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Derry – The One With The Hangover

This city is a home from home now as my Irish brother and mama live here, anywhere they are is home for me. The trip to celebrate St Patrick’s day way back in 2012 reminded me why I don’t drink much and that the Irish can party like no other. Highlights of this trip include me dancing by myself in a club with the flag wrapped around me and having to sit down in the shower the next morning because I felt like death.

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Barcelona – The One Where I Remembered How Much I loved Spain

When I got back from VLC after a week everyone, in the most passive aggressive ways possible, told me to shut up talking about it. When I went to Barcelona in 2011 with Momma Sophs, Jade and Wilf I remembered that all the reasons I kept harping on about Spain and the Spanish were valid and real. IT IS THE ONE OF THE BEST COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD AND YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE MY MIND ON THAT OK.

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The American summer – The One That I Needed.

June 19th – Sept 10th in the USA with some of my favourite people. This trip was the one I needed. The break from life we all crave sometimes I was lucky enough to have. I realised a lot about myself, what I wanted, my limits and it gave me time to reflect on things that had happened and let go of things that were never meant to be. The house of Rincon Ave became my safe place that summer. We saw so much that summer it is hard to pick just one thing that makes it stand out. Without a doubt the best trip I’ve ever taken. Just wow.

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Paris 2015 – The One With Disney.

 That’s all you need to know really. 2 of my best friends. Disney. 5 days. It was perfect, I laughed so much, rediscovered my inner child (which is never really far from the surface) and met Peter Pan. Life was perfect at that moment.

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Cape Cod 2014 – The One Where I Realised Family Really Is Everything.

 The best part about this is that I wasn’t even with my family. Mark and I hijacked my American fam’s vaca and it was the best. They are such a big family, and their love for each other is bigger. I love being surrounded by them, hearing their in jokes, laughing at each other and being let in to their homes and making memories with them. They remind me that family is what really matters, the world may be chaotic but so long as you have that little hub to come back to it’s all ok. I just need to remind myself of that when my family piss me off!

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There are so many more trips that I could list but unfortunately I am running out of time as I gots places to be. I’m off to make memories with my family in the best country of all, the one I call home.

Happy Easter, pals

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10 places I want to visit before I die

 

Honestly, I’d like to visit everywhere.

There are very few places you could name on this globe that I would say no to visiting, I am very lucky and have done a fair amount of travelling in my life. I used to be that person that would never visit anywhere more than once – there was just too much world to see and it was pointless to keep going back to the same place. That plan began unraveling as I began making friends that lived in the towns and cities I’d visited – I then wanted to go back and see them. I am slowly making peace with the fact that I won’t see the whole world in my life time, but I do have certain places that I reeeeeally want to see before I die. I just need to find people to do them with.

So, here we have it…

 

 

  1. Australia

This may seem weird seeing as I just gave up the opportunity to go and live there and experience it but just because my life direction has changed, doesn’t mean that I never want to visit. It just means I want to do it differently – give me good company, a car and a road trip. We can learn to surf, scuba dive off the great barrier reef, go swimming with sharks. IT’S WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF.

 

 

  1. Hong Kong

 

China as a whole I find pretty fascinating but the more I read about Hong Kong the more I want to visit. The view from Victoria Peak is worth the flight itself, no? Hiring a Junk Boat, visiting the markets and temples, go and see the Buddha. Oh, and TEA – how could you visit China and not have afternoon tea?

I want to hike the Dragon’s back – WHO’S COMING WITH ME?

Also, can we also high five me for not mentioning (until now) that there is a Disneyland there too.

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  1. Tokyo

 

I want to walk over the rainbow. As in the bridge that is shaped like one. I want to learn to make sushi from the masters (and eat my weight in it too). The markets, the bars, the fashion… what is not to love? An old friend visited Tokyo a few years back and since then I have wanted to visit. His stories combined with his photos… what a place! There may also be another Disneyland just outside Tokyo… what?

 

  1. Hawaii

This just looks the definition of paradise. In the words of every millennial I CAN’T EVEN. The obsession started when I watched Elvis in Paradise Hawaiian Style as a child – since then it’s always been on my list of places to visit. Of course there are multiple islands to visit and the things I’d like to do are dotted around the islands, the volcanoes park is a definite must, you can go out on a boat from Maui and humpback whale spot, Waimea Canyon looks like something out of someone’s imagination and not a real place that you can actually visit. Who wants to come with?

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  1. Amazon Rainforest

 

Most people, I think, associate the Amazon with Brazil because that is predominantly where it covers but you can also access it from Colombia, Peru and various other South American countries. Why do I want to visit the Amazon? It’s fascinating! 5.5 million-ish miles of rainforest, dating back at least 50 million years. Home to thousands of species of plants, animals and millions of insects… the list is endless. I mean, obviously I’d probably shit myself at the prospect of getting attacked by a jaguar or anaconda but I think the risk is worth it.

 

  1. Lapland, Finland

 

Because… SANTA. But also, I’d love to see the Northern Lights. I have been to Finland before as my friend lives in Helsinki but never to Lapland.

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  1. Auschwitz Concentration Camp, Poland

 

I realise this changes to tone of this list a lot but it is somewhere that I feel I need to see before I die. I cannot explain why, I just feel it inside me that I need to. Like most people I remember learning about the atrocities that took place in WWII thanks to Hitler and the actions of others. I remember reading Anne Frank’s diary as a young girl myself and watching a film adaptation when I was around 12 years and being so distraught at the scene where Anne is separated from her father that my mum had to turn the film off and calm me down. All this happened not even 50 years before I was born, something that I cannot understand, even now. I have visited Anne Frank haus in Amsterdam and cried my way around the National Holocaust Museum in Washington and now I want to visit Auschwitz.

 

  1. Vietnam

 

Their history is fascinating to me. A country that, 50 years ago, was in the midst of a war. They have come out the other side and are rebuilding their country on their terms. The differences in the north and south of the country, the landscapes, new species of animals that have been discovered in recent years; it all fascinates me. I can’t wait to one day discover it for myself.

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  1. Kenya

 

I need to go on an African safari in my lifetime. I need to. The idea of going almost brings me to (happy) tears. I would undoubtedly sob as I saw some of the most beautiful creatures in the world in the flesh – those I know that have been say that no number of David Attenborough documentaries can ever prepare you to see the animals in the flesh. It takes your breath away. I CAN’T WAIT. My reasons for choosing Kenya as the place to experience this is purely because of the research I have done into it – Kenya seems to be THE place.

 

  1. Machu Picchu, Peru

 

I do not know where my fascination with this place has come from. There is no specific time that I can recall it starting, I just know that for as long as I can remember I always wanted to visit it. That magical city above Peru. We can hike some of the Inca Trail, maybe take a train some of the way. It’s gotta happen.

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There is so much world to see.

“Travelling leaves you speechless and turns you into a storyteller”

 

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Welcome to Hollywood! What’s your dream? 

Where I am: Nick’s bedroom, LA

Listening to: ‘King of Wishful Thinking’ by Go West 

Week 3 and I’ve been learning lots about myself this week. Read oooon playas….
The beauty of life is in how it twists and turns. How you can be heading in one direction, so sure of your choices until suddenly, it comes to crunch time and you realise it’s not quite right. Too often I think we stay the course because of what we think we should do, or what we think everyone will think, the people we’ll disappoint, the money we’ll waste, the dreams we’re not ready to let go of. Even if they’ve changed. The sudden change of direction (or heart) can be scary but “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry”. 


Now, 7 years ago I formulated a plan with someone very special to me. We had a dream. Whilst we had lots in common we had 2 passions that bonded us the most. Music and Travel. We spent hours talking about the adventures we were going to have, to a soundtrack of eclectic music. We spoke of where we were going to go, what we’d see, the food we’d eat (yum!), the music we’d listen to. We decided that once I was done with university we were going to go to Australia. We were going to go and live and it was going to be FAB.U.LOUS. 

We loved all music but Simon and Garfunkel was our favourite.



Over the years things changed and the talk of travel became less and less. We finally stopped talking of it altogether. Reality forces things on you. When you’re not in the ‘real world’ dreams seem more attainable I think, and we both had a tendency to live in a dream world – not the real one. The last time we spoke was the summer of 2013. I’d graduated from university in 2011 and still the ‘Australia’ dream hadn’t happened. I decided there, sat in my friend’s backyard in LA that I could still do it. It would just have to be alone. It could still be fun. At some point I’d go.

Then life got in the way and things started happening that made me forget that dream. Fast forward 3 years and I was unhappy with my life. I felt stuck in a life I hadn’t dreamt for myself. I felt like I had nothing of worth to hold on to (dramatic I know but, in the words of Miranda, bear with). I was trying to figure out my next move, listening to my iPod, when Simon + Garfunkel came on. I took that as my sign. The old dream that was in the back of my mind. Australia, it was. 

I quit my job and I was on my way (via LA). I had everything in place. I told everyone I was leaving. Visas, flights, CV updated and circulating. Hostel booked. Transfers. The whole shebang.                           Nerves set in, of course. The realisation of being in a strange city on the other side of the world, alone, was starting to set in but, hey, a “hello” is all it can take to make a new friend, right? I knew, after pep talks and some sound advice, I’d be ok. Besides, I had 2 weeks Stateside to have fun first! 

The days passed, friends left, more arrived. A weird feeling of ‘did I make a mistake?’ came over me when I thought of Aus but I dismissed it as nerves quickly, like I did any talk of Australia whenever anyone brought it up. Everyone was talking about the adventure and how exciting it would be and I felt silly for second guessing myself. 

Until it came to crunch time.

I was packed. The car was en route. The anxiety set in. The pep talks started from my friends. During a last one with Mark I realised – somewhere amongst the hype and excitement – my dream had changed, I’d just not been honest with myself. 

I’m normally led by logic. The logical side of my brain had been engaged – everyone knew I was going. It was all set. It made sense to go. This time I let myself be led by my emotions and I listened to my heart (Gosh, this sounds cheesy doesn’t it?) In the times I’ve actually been honest with myself, I’ve always trusted what’s in my heart and it’s never been wrong.

So that’s what I did. 

I didn’t get on the plane. 

I stayed in LA in order to build a new dream, take time to envision what I really wanted and not what the 21 year old me wanted. 

Someone much wiser than me said to me that “hindsight is 20:20 vision”  and she’s right; looking back the doubts were there but I got so caught up in everyone’s excitement and my nostalgia and in my wanting to escape a life I’d grown tired of. It’s only when I stepped away from the noise and was in LA that I had the time to listen to me. 

Luckily, my friends here in LA have said stay for as long as you want. Legally I can stay here until April so there’s plenty of time to figure out what I want to do and formulate a plan. Even now my flight home is booked they keep telling me to extend my stay more “change it again, stay a couple weeks extra. The super bowl is coming up, you have to stay for that”.

The time away has given me time to think and plan my own life, and figure out what I want. For once, I have a 10 year plan! We’re in week 3 of 2017 and already my dreams have changed, but at least I have one. I just gotta get home and make it happen now! 


Xoxo

Micks